misty1114 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 I've been going on dates with a guy I met online for about 2.5 months. He's 23 years old and we met on Coffee Meets Bagel app. On our last date, we had a conversation about how we feel how things are headed. He said he's looking for a long-term relationship and that he really likes me and he hasn't seen anyone else since he started seeing me. He has also introduced me to one of his friends. I also told him I feel the same way about him and that I'm not interested in dating other people as well. Today I noticed he changed his profile picture on the dating app. I'm 100% sure he just changed it today because when I looked at his profile a few days ago, his pictures were still the same. We just had the conversation a couple of days ago and we have another date coming up. I don't know what to make of this. Should I confront him or let things be? We're not official yet but I thought he implied exclusivity with that last conversation we had. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 I've been going on dates with a guy I met online for about 2.5 months. He's 23 years old and we met on Coffee Meets Bagel app. On our last date, we had a conversation about how we feel how things are headed. He said he's looking for a long-term relationship and that he really likes me and he hasn't seen anyone else since he started seeing me. He has also introduced me to one of his friends. I also told him I feel the same way about him and that I'm not interested in dating other people as well. Today I noticed he changed his profile picture on the dating app. I'm 100% sure he just changed it today because when I looked at his profile a few days ago, his pictures were still the same. We just had the conversation a couple of days ago and we have another date coming up. I don't know what to make of this. Should I confront him or let things be? We're not official yet but I thought he implied exclusivity with that last conversation we had. Ouch !! So tell us about those 2.5 months dating. How often did you see each other per week? Are you intimate? Him changing his pictures would not sit well with me. People change their profile pictures to get more attention. I got this feeling you're under the impression you're in a relationship with this man while he doesn't considers so. Link to post Share on other sites
Amalyn Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 I would immediately assume this guy was keeping his options open, regardless of what he said. Yes. I think it's a red flag. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 So.. this is a weird situation that I find myself in now as well. Let me give a little background first, this woman I'm seeing is super busy at work so I know she doesn't have the time to mess around with multiple relationships. She's very nice and we have been talking/texting for a few months now. 2 dates in and tomorrow is the third. Nothing seems wrong and we both like each other very much. Have been physical in the sense of kissing and holding hands and flirty. Today I noticed her profile picture had changed to something new. To a pic she had shown me the other day that I told her I liked no less. Is this her doing this for me or is she looking for an alternative to me? I don't get it.. what's the motive for doing that? All it says to me is that she's still using the app which is set up to find dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Author misty1114 Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 We've been seeing each other about once a week because we're both very busy as well. No we haven't been intimate. I made it known to him that I'm not okay with multi-dating and I don't like to be treated as an option. So the fact that he changed his profile pic doesn't sit well with me at all and it turns me off from wanting to see him again for our next date. What do you think I should do? I plan on deleting my profile, but the app doesn't really delete it completely, it just puts my profile on hold. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 We've been seeing each other about once a week because we're both very busy as well. No we haven't been intimate. I made it known to him that I'm not okay with multi-dating and I don't like to be treated as an option. So the fact that he changed his profile pic doesn't sit well with me at all and it turns me off from wanting to see him again for our next date. What do you think I should do? I plan on deleting my profile, but the app doesn't really delete it completely, it just puts my profile on hold. Create a fake profile, with fake pictures, and go talk to him and see what he says. It's the best way to know what he is up to. The same thing happened to me years ago. I had been dating this man for a couple of months when he changed his pictures. I created a fake profile and spoke to him. Within 10 minutes he was making date plans with my fake profile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 OP listen to this video How Long Should You Wait Until You Know You?re Exclusive With a Man? Link to post Share on other sites
Bobbi7 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Not a good sign at all!!!! Sorry, you better dump him. Someone who actually changes their profile pic means they are still fishing around and you are not his first choice! Link to post Share on other sites
walkingonair Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Not a good sign at all! Trust me! Been through something like that. He isn't serious about the relationship he has with you and he doesn't want commitment even though he says he does, he's not ready for it. I suggest you stop talking to him and back away because you'll just get super hurt in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobbi7 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Create a fake profile, with fake pictures, and go talk to him and see what he says. It's the best way to know what he is up to. The same thing happened to me years ago. I had been dating this man for a couple of months when he changed his pictures. I created a fake profile and spoke to him. Within 10 minutes he was making date plans with my fake profile. Yeah, if you want to know the truth about him, create a fake profile, message him and sees if you plans a date out with you-with the fake profile. Only way. Get him red handed and use those forensic skills! Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Yeah, if you want to know the truth about him, create a fake profile, message him and sees if you plans a date out with you-with the fake profile. Only way. Get him red handed and use those forensic skills! The real cynic in me would try to make plans with him on the same day of his date with the fake profile and watch what excuse he comes up with If he really does that to you then let him go out of his way somewhere to meet this new girl and get a no-show. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 The real cynic in me would try to make plans with him on the same day of his date with the fake profile and watch what excuse he comes up with If he really does that to you then let him go out of his way somewhere to meet this new girl and get a no-show. Everyone knows the way to do it is to 'coincidentally' show up at the location of the fake date. Priceless! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
DC77 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 (edited) If someone is taking the time to pay attention to their dating profile they have not committed. They're still keeping their options open. Red flag, yes. You may or may not want to press the issue, but proceed with caution. I actually had a guy I was dating for months show up in my inbox as a person I might be interested in. It was completely unexpected. Of course I clicked on it and found he had been active. Our initial conversation was fine, but trust on both sides unraveled. It eventually ended. Edited December 26, 2015 by DC77 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 So.. this is a weird situation that I find myself in now as well. Let me give a little background first, this woman I'm seeing is super busy at work so I know she doesn't have the time to mess around with multiple relationships. She's very nice and we have been talking/texting for a few months now. 2 dates in and tomorrow is the third. Nothing seems wrong and we both like each other very much. Have been physical in the sense of kissing and holding hands and flirty. Today I noticed her profile picture had changed to something new. To a pic she had shown me the other day that I told her I liked no less. Is this her doing this for me or is she looking for an alternative to me? I don't get it.. what's the motive for doing that? All it says to me is that she's still using the app which is set up to find dates. You're in her shopping cart. She's still shopping, though. She hasn't checked out yet, so, in the end, she might buy you or remove you from her cart and buy someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Everyone knows the way to do it is to 'coincidentally' show up at the location of the fake date. Priceless! Take it a step further. Have a big burly gay man show up to meet him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amalyn Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 The real cynic in me would try to make plans with him on the same day of his date with the fake profile and watch what excuse he comes up with If he really does that to you then let him go out of his way somewhere to meet this new girl and get a no-show. I love this idea honestly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 (edited) Create a fake profile, with fake pictures, and go talk to him and see what he says. It's the best way to know what he is up to. The same thing happened to me years ago. I had been dating this man for a couple of months when he changed his pictures. I created a fake profile and spoke to him. Within 10 minutes he was making date plans with my fake profile. I think if a woman is inclined to do that....she should just dump him instead. Because, yes of course he is keeping options open and searching/dating other women, there is no other reason why (1) he would still be on line/have an active profile, and (b) change his photo. So save your energy setting up the fake profile, and just stop dating him. Always follow your gut. I am recently single, and my philosophy when dating will be, if I am insecure or troubled enough to create a thread on a message board, or entertaining the idea of creating a fake profile to catch him, something is terribly terribly wrong and it is best I just move on. Just me though. The fake profile thing would work, if you have a tendency to second guess yourself though. If he responds to it, you will know for sure. Me? Wouldn't need it. I have good instincts, and would just know by his actions and how he treats me. You do what is right for you. Edited December 26, 2015 by katiegrl 4 Link to post Share on other sites
The Way I Am Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 You don't need a fake profile. The only reason to update is if he's still looking. The fake profile might be entertaining though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misty1114 Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 What do you all think I should do? I agreed to meet him tomorrow before I found all of this out. Should I confront him or ask him to remove his profile? I'm just utterly confused. He told me all the things I mentioned above and hasn't rushed for sex or anything. Then go change his pictures Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Pretty sure Coffee Meets Bagel lets you use your Facebook profile pic as your picture. If he has selected this option, it's possible that all he did was change his FB pic and hasn't even thought about the fact that it would show up as a new profile pic on the dating app. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Pretty sure Coffee Meets Bagel lets you use your Facebook profile pic as your picture. If he has selected this option, it's possible that all he did was change his FB pic and hasn't even thought about the fact that it would show up as a new profile pic on the dating app. This would be the only acceptable reason for the profile picture change. If that is not the reason, I would consider him not interested enough and start dating others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 I love this idea honestly Is this what dating has come to? Seems like high school games. If I felt I had to stoop to that level, I'd just opt out. My integrity is more important. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Amalyn Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Is this what dating has come to? Seems like high school games. If I felt I had to stoop to that level, I'd just opt out. My integrity is more important. Hey. I'm in a relationship. I didn't say I would do it. Just found it hilarious. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Hey. I'm in a relationship. I didn't say I would do it. Just found it hilarious. I think SNL should do a runnng skit on OLD ...that would be hilarious. Might call out people on their ridiculous behavior and how OLD has changed dating ...and not for the better. I see what you're saying though ...it seems hilarious ...but not for real world application. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 (edited) What do you all think I should do? I agreed to meet him tomorrow before I found all of this out. Should I confront him or ask him to remove his profile? I'm just utterly confused. He told me all the things I mentioned above and hasn't rushed for sex or anything. Then go change his pictures Hey Misty ...since you guys have talked about how much you like each other and appear to be on the same page ...how about being honest and upfront with him. Go out with him on your planned date. Mention that you still feel the same and how much you enjoy spending time with him. Then say "hey I'm cautious with my heart and thought I'd check your status on the bagel app and noticed your pic has changed...are you still looking for others?" See what he has to say. Maybe he's just looking for friends on the app? I'm not familiar with it so maybe it's innocent networking. Takeaway ...be honest ...I wouldn't stoop to the covert behavior. Let the guy know ...if he's still looking, you aren't on the same page and let him know you aren't compatible ...it isn't pressure ...it's just the fact of the matter. Be confident in what you have to offer. If he thinks he can do better ... Have at it. That's my attitude. I wouldn't be confrontational or combative ..:just caring and matter of fact. Purposeful dating ...dating with intent ... Actions and words meet up ...that's who works for me...otherwise ...enjoy the crazy dating game and bye bye. Some guys like high drama though and enjoy the thrill of push pull. If the guy pulls away, you haven't lost anything because it proves you didn't have anything to begin with. Edited December 26, 2015 by StBreton 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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