Is it actually short sighted to dislike tattoos?

[varonny]

So I'm not a fan of tattoos - I don't have any, don't want any. It's obviously a thing of personal choice, and if that's how you want to express yourself, that's awesome!

That being said I'm not attracted to people with tattoos. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's like not being attracted to obese or stick thin people, maybe you don't like shorter/taller people or don't like girls with short hair etc.

 

With that in mind I received a free message on OLD asking if I was interested - I look at his profile, see the full leg and sleeve tattoos on both arms and legs and sent a message back saying that I didn't think it would work out (standard pre-formatted message).

Today I got a message that he'd paid for basically saying 'Sorry to hear that, it seems like we both have a lot in common - here's a bit more about me'.

 

At this point I feel bad that he's paid to send me a message, and being the brutally honest type of person send back with the reason that I'm not attracted to tattoos and it's just a personal preference.

An hour later he's messaged along the lines of 'Well that's short sighted, but ok."

 

Really?

 

What's wrong with not wanting to date someone who you're not attracted to, physically or mentally? There are plenty of girls that are attracted to men with tatts, I'm just not one of them.

 

And in any case, what's the point in asking what's up if you don't want an honest answer? If I can't even answer honestly as to why I'm not attracted to someone, then what? Sugar coat or be shamed for having likes and dislikes?

[hasaquestion]

1. I don't think the choice of the word "short-sighted" has anything to do with the tattoos. He just thinks you aren't given him a chance to meet you.

 

2. I agree with you 100%. I know I'll get skewered for my antiquated notions or whatever. If you have tattoos I'm sure there's someone out there for you. But it ain't me.

[angel.eyes]

Honey, after the first, "no thanks" response, why on earth would you continue to engage this guy??? And why would you care about his opinion of you? You're on the site to find a date, not to win approval from guys you don't even like!!

 

FTR, I've never dated a guy with tattoos either.

[varonny]

Yeah, you're right. I really should have just left it and not replied! I think I just really don't get why other people think it's such a bad thing to say no if I know that I wouldn't date someone. Even friends have said about various other things 'You might miss out if you don't try!'

Why do I have to try? I already know, and it saves both myself and the guy time.

 

You've made a good point though - now to learn how to not give a **** about what people think about me

[AspenBaldwin]

If you are too short sighted then maybe you need glasses to better understand the tattoos.

[angel.eyes]

You've made a good point though - now to learn how to not give a **** about what people think about me

It's one thing to care about your friends' opinions. Quite another when it's some random stranger on the internet that you have no interest in and will never meet. His opinion is irrelevant.

 

As for your friends, if they think some guy is all that and a bag of chips, then they can date him!! Funny how the excuses flow and the bar suddenly rises when you suggest they date someone they're pushing on you.

[FadedSign52]

There are so many other things that matter so much more than whether the person has tattoos in my opinion. Are you compatible personality wise, life goals, etc. But everyone have deal breakers I suppose.

[basil67]

haha, you had that coming!

 

What goes around comes around. You put a brutally honest opinion out there - so it stands to reason that you get a brutally honest opinion in return.

 

If you don't want to be judged as 'short sighted', then don't judge a person you don't know on the basis of their tattoos. Be the change you want to see.

 

Edited to add: It's Ok for you to be shallow about what you're looking for. And it's Ok for him to call you on it.

Edited December 27, 2015 by basil67

[The Way I Am]

No that's not short sighted. Short sighted means lacking foresight, and you have the foresight to know that there's no point communicating with him because you know you're turned off by tattoos and won't be attracted to him.

 

I've noticed people on facebook liking or posting things about not judging people with tattoos. It seems there are a lot of people with tattoos who don't realize that they're basically the norm. They think that anyone other than senior citizens still judges them as rebels, bikers, irresponsible, etc. They think people judge their personality based on the fact that they have tattoos.

 

He might have been implying something like that thinking that you decided he's a bad guy because of the tattoos.

 

He didn't understand that you just think they're ugly. -- Which I agree with.

[Mobi]

If you aren't attracted to a person physically due to one thing or another, that's a big sign that they might not be the best for you. If you are able to meet them in person, they might have other qualities that you find attractive and something like tattoos might not be such a big deal. As for online attraction, pictures don't always show our best or worst qualities. But never go against your gut feeling. Feelings are never wrong. (But that's just my opinion)

[StBreton]

I don't date guys with tattoos. We don't share the same values. Very comfortable with my choice and don't care what others think. I won't answer to anyone who wants to know why. It's a personal choice. OP ...you are not short sighted.

[ltjg45]

haha, you had that coming!

 

What goes around comes around. You put a brutally honest opinion out there - so it stands to reason that you get a brutally honest opinion in return.

 

If you don't want to be judged as 'short sighted', then don't judge a person you don't know on the basis of their tattoos. Be the change you want to see.

 

Edited to add: It's Ok for you to be shallow about what you're looking for. And it's Ok for him to call you on it.

 

 

Perhaps the OP is short sighted? So what?

 

I am a male and I am like the OP. I got no tattoos and I have almost no interest in dating women who has tattoos. There is more than enough women without tattoos that is compatible with me to change my preference.

 

Just not my thing. I just don't see tattoos as a "work of art" as most people who has them call it. To me, a woman's body just the way it was given is what I call a "work of art" but obviously not everyone agrees.

 

I find that to be a compatibility issue and that is enough not to meet up and try to take things further.

 

OP, don't change that preference. Keep looking for guys that has no tattoos. As for me, I have been single all of my life and I am 29 strictly because almost every woman I has some interest in has a tattoo somewhere on her body and it is a big enough turn off not to pursue. That's nothing to be ashamed of.

[varonny]

You put a brutally honest opinion out there - so it stands to reason that you get a brutally honest opinion in return.

 

Fair call!

 

He might have been implying something like that thinking that you decided he's a bad guy because of the tattoos.

 

He didn't understand that you just think they're ugly. -- Which I agree with.

 

Ok, that would make sense if this were the case. Personally I don't like stereotypes, I don't automatically associate tattoos with any sort of personality trait. I just don't see the beauty in them. Obviously people with tattoos get them because they DO think they're beautiful and are works of art. I just can't appreciate them like others might.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I dislike tats when it's TOO much. When I go to certain swimming areas or the beach, it's sad to see a woman in a bikini with a full on mural sprawling the sides of their torsos.

 

Whatever happened to the cute, small tats that they just kept to their wrists or ankles. Or even a small one on their bikini line?

 

What's even more of a turn off is when they go to a black tie event, wearing an evening gown and of course you can see it all on their backs. Very much clashes with the environment they had decided to attend in such a fashion.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Funny, a story just posted about how a woman, loaded up with tattoos that extend to her HANDS (the exposed portions that can't be covered)...was given a job offer...only to have it quickly rescinded moments later because of her ink.

 

This would make people think twice about getting ridiculous with the ink.

 

It was entitled "The reason why this woman was fired from her new job 30 minutes after she was hired."

[d0nnivain]

I don't like tatoos either. DH has 6, granted none of them are sleeves.

 

 

Although you only have superficial info to go by on OLD if you aren't attacted to what you see, you aren't attracted what you see. Game over.

 

 

The guy tried. Granted he was more persistent then most. I actually think is response was pretty tame & fairly polite, indicating to me that he is a good guy, despite his unfortunate choices in body art.

 

 

If you are going to try to date via OLD & you value honesty as you claim, you need to be able to accept honest in return.

 

 

For now, don't sweat it & move on.

[No Limit]

Short-sighted? It's a matter of taste. Visible tattoos would be a dealbreaker for me tbh. Piercings are an absolute attraction-killer for me.

 

But others like them. So what? I guess he's just a little mad that you won't give him a chance, but that too is your decision and shouldn't be influenced by a stranger's annoyance.

[varonny]

Thanks guys, I'll keep what you've all said in mind!

 

Angel.eyes asked earlier why I responded to him after my initial rejection. In this case (and in the future, if I've said no and they still send a message), is it best to simply not reply? Or would you just send back a quick 'answer is still no' without giving any reasoning?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

So I'm not a fan of tattoos - I don't have any, don't want any. It's obviously a thing of personal choice, and if that's how you want to express yourself, that's awesome!

That being said I'm not attracted to people with tattoos. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's like not being attracted to obese or stick thin people, maybe you don't like shorter/taller people or don't like girls with short hair etc.

 

With that in mind I received a free message on OLD asking if I was interested - I look at his profile, see the full leg and sleeve tattoos on both arms and legs and sent a message back saying that I didn't think it would work out (standard pre-formatted message).

Today I got a message that he'd paid for basically saying 'Sorry to hear that, it seems like we both have a lot in common - here's a bit more about me'.

 

At this point I feel bad that he's paid to send me a message, and being the brutally honest type of person send back with the reason that I'm not attracted to tattoos and it's just a personal preference.

An hour later he's messaged along the lines of 'Well that's short sighted, but ok."

 

Really?

 

What's wrong with not wanting to date someone who you're not attracted to, physically or mentally? There are plenty of girls that are attracted to men with tatts, I'm just not one of them.

 

And in any case, what's the point in asking what's up if you don't want an honest answer? If I can't even answer honestly as to why I'm not attracted to someone, then what? Sugar coat or be shamed for having likes and dislikes?

 

 

 

It isn't reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ally "tattoos" themselves

 

 

But when coupled with that obvious sign of the person's values and decision-making, then it makes plenty of sense that you wouldn't want to entertain thoughts of accepting them into a relationship wherein their decision-making and choices would hold such impact over your life.

 

 

Consider some random tattoo that you've recently spotted on somebody like the person in the OLD world... and then imagine some random guy seeming straight-laced and just your type of guy... until you got him home and naked... and found the same exact tattoo on the latter guy, only well-hidden and non-intrusive of his everyday life.

 

You wouldn't write him off juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust because of that tattoo, so it really isn't the tattoo itself.

 

 

Tattoos are great for helping those who have known perhaps far more personal pain than most, to find one another out there. Perhaps it is something like A.A. - where nobody knows like somebody who has been there...

[anika99]

I'm off two minds on this. First off all I don't think you should date anyone who you are not attracted towards. That's wouldn't be fair to you or the other person. Also full legs and sleeves on all of the limbs would be somewhat alarming to me too. Tattoos maybe an artful form of self expression but I think some people become addicted to it and can't stop. For the most part I don't think tattoos say anything about the person but when it becomes excessive maybe it does.

 

However I couldn't imagine writing someone off completely just because they have a few tattoos. It seems like there are much more important qualities to be concerned about then having a totally ink free body. I know some people will say it's just a physical preference like preferring a tall person or a dark haired person but for starters I'm not ruled by my physical preferences. I have a weakness for tall blond fair skinned men yet I've had only a couple of boyfriends who filled that preference. Nonetheless I have fallen madly in love with guys who were nowhere near tall, blond or fair skinned simply because I was able to see their physical beauty in spite of the fact that they didn't match my preferences.

 

I don't get reducing people down to a single feature or body part. I guess when I meet someone I take in their entire overall look and either they are an attractive person to me or they are not. I couldn't imagine meeting someone and thinking 'oh this person is appealing but they have big feet and I don't like big feet so I won't give him the time of day' or 'I love this persons attitude and sense of humour and they have such a handsome face but I heard he has a tattoo on his chest so all the other good stuff is moot. I think this might be what your friends are getting at. OP if you met someone and felt a strong attraction and chemistry with that person would you really ditch them the moment you found out they had a tattoo? That seems odd to me. Not wrong, just odd.

[ltjg45]

Consider some random tattoo that you've recently spotted on somebody like the person in the OLD world... and then imagine some random guy seeming straight-laced and just your type of guy... until you got him home and naked... and found the same exact tattoo on the latter guy, only well-hidden and non-intrusive of his everyday life.

 

You wouldn't write him off juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust because of that tattoo, so it really isn't the tattoo itself.

 

Whoa. Don't be quick to make assumptions because I know myself that if a woman I am dating had a well hidden tattoo that I didn't see until later that I would break up with her really quickly after that. Tattoos just kills my sexual desire for a woman because it gives me that disturbing image of the tattoo placed within my mind and it just doesn't go away.

 

This is why I skipped on women that would be a decent fit for me but had tattoos because I know I would lose all desire to have sex with them before long and she deserves better than that.

 

While the OP may not have the same reason for her choice, I wouldn't come to that conclusion so quickly. Perhaps it is a deal breaker so high on her list that she would do the same.

[preraph]

Look, I was of the sort of first generation that went overboard with tatts. One guy I saw a few times was a rocker and he was gorgeous and every time I saw him, more of his creamy skin was obscured by ginormous tatts. I much preferred the bare skin. I wasn't looking for husband material necessarily, but if I was, I'd certainly consider if visible tatts were going to limit his career opportunities. Nearly everyone of the generation after mine has "a tatt." And that's one thing. But going nuts with it, well, it can ruin someone's whole image and certainly their sexual attraction to a large segment of people. Male or female.

 

P.S. I was considering my first tatt when I started seeing that guy, and although he encouraged me to get a tatt on my shoulder, he is really what made me decide never to get a tatt. I'd decided against piercing decades before after seeing what pierced ears look like (loonnng and wrinkly) on an old lady.

[lino]

It isn't short sighted at all. People are free to like or dislike whatever they want.

 

I say this as a fellow with quite a few tattoos

 

I think it's more short sighted from those who have certain tattoos and think their tattoos are 'superior' to another person's one. Plenty of those folks around.