Lost...need insight on this

[smokeyrun]

We've met abroad 3 weeks ago. I've think ve've hit it off really good.

We get to know each other pretty good in these 10 days and became really good friends. He told his family about me, his future plans, what he wants to do in his life a lot of private things you don't share with people, at least me. I've never opened so fast to someone.

 

We had really good times, we had fun. BUT!

Got back home 10 days ago.

He asked me recently how am I and that he will see me soon!

 

When I was being sarcastic and texted back 'next week? or are you joking?' (because he said so before, not sure was he joking or not).

 

A guy didn't reply.

5 days later on Christmas eve, I've texted him something that reminded me of him.

he did reply and he was really laughing about it.

Yesterday I said Merry Christmas, he didn't say anything to me

 

So, I've decided to delete his number and not make any contacts from my side. I am letting this thing go.

 

Problem is that we had sex. We shouldn't do that, but it happened.

 

In general he doesn't have money right now and I know it for any trips and he works 6 times/day.

I think all of this what happened is really sensless to contiune. I know we like each other, but he is not even saying marry christmas or anything. I know he has issues with smoking weed almost every day and is a bit depressed. But our mutual friend who I've met there told me he changed a lot since he met me and seems really happy for the first time since she knows him.

 

Not sure if I should just forget it all and let it go or continue communication with him if he ever initiates something.

Or if I should contact him in a month or two. Well who knows what will happen in month ot two and how will I feel about him and this situation. But it's fresh, Idon't know why I am feeling sad about it at all. This never happens to me. I need some advices. I feel like I am getting heartbroken and that someone of 5 years dumped me. Why?

 

I'd just like to figuare out what does this guy feel for me NOW not later, you know what I mean? I mean I have to intense emotions about him in a short period of time and it's crazy and sick, lol! I know!! But can't help it.

Edited December 26, 2015 by smokeyrun

[ExpatInItaly]

Not to be a total downer, but I would just chalk this up to a fun vacation fling and move on.

 

The reality is that you hardly know each other and don't live in the same area. It doesn't exactly provide a foundation for a sustainable connection. The fact that you haven't really heard much from him indicates he's not investing either.

 

As for why you feel so intensely about this, it's hard to say. Do you have much dating experience? What type of attachment style do you have? It's a bit concerning you feel so heartbroken over someone you barely know, but it's worth examining the underlying reasons why you feel this way. A lot of people with insecurities or low self-esteem get attached very quickly, but the risk is that you are attached to an image you have of him, not reality. I say that because you spent so little time together that it simply wasn't possible to really get to know him.

 

I wouldn't reach out to him again. He knows how to contact you if he's interested in doing so. In the meantime, I'd keep my options open for local guys.

[smokeyrun]

Thanks for answering!

Don't worry, I am not gonna initiate any contact or anything with him...

 

Why am I feeling about him like this? I can't tell exactly, because I am pretty realistic person.

 

Maybe because of the fact that last time we were suposed to meet, he couldn't make it because he had big problems at his work an emergency. Then he called me and said what happened. At first I've thought he was lying but I've heard he was really disapointed in his voice. Then his text. And afterall I've thought. 'Wow, this guy really likes me and he wants to keep seeing me eventuallly!'

My point is that I dont like these situations. I'am a person who thinks like. 'We've met, we've had fun and goodbye, no contact, no nothing.'

I didn't expect his reactions to be like this at all, since he seems like a person who thinks like me about those things.

And suddenly just a few days later almost nothing! I know he never understands my text and he doesn't use his phone at all, but still...

I don't like when people act like that and start to act so different in just a few days. If it was a month I'd get it, not hard feelings.

And what I hate the most in these situations is that men are like that. I know he will contact me in 2,3 months like nothing happened, maybe less!

'Hey!! How are you!?!?!! Haven't heard you for a long time! Are you alive!?'

And then what am I suposed to do... I know myself and if this happens. I will forget him by then and won't give a **** at all and probably wouldn't like to reply or anything because I will forget him...

2nd thing what is bothering me is that I hope he wont show his interest of coming here to visit me too late, because he will get me in an awkward situation. When I am getting cold, it's over.

3rd thing he is from my country, but moved with his parents when he was like 3 and he told me he'd like to come back one day in future, but before to just visit me...

 

I am actually continuing to see a guy I've met before him at home... It's not like I am crying in my room 24/7 for someone I don't know and feel sorry for some 2 weeks fling!

 

My point of all of this is that I'd like to get the answers how much does he likes me, what does he wants and why he acts like that all of the sudden, I've thought we were friends. But I guess we shouldn't ever had sex! Because I wouldn't feel like this now. Sex ruins everything.

[privategal]

maybe just like you had someone at home too.

[ExpatInItaly]

maybe just like you had someone at home too.

 

I was about to say the same thing.

 

It's entirely possible he's dating someone at home.

[smokeyrun]

I am reading my "thoguhts" from last week and laughing about my posts!

 

We actually did talk on Viber, some trash joking talk.

 

Now I am lost again. Since strange things happen to me. I have an opprotunity to be relocated there in a month or two.

I don't know why, but I've told him about it. A guy sounded really happy about it and excited. He said it's brilliant idea and stuff.

Didn't reply to him for two days, because I was busy and I am trying to just let this thing go, keep the distance. What happens, happens.

 

I've replied after 2 days and his message on viber wasn't delivered. I think he deleted his account. He didn't block me, thats for sure.

 

I am going back there in 3 weeks. And now I am worried about him. Because he seemed a little bit depressed lately. I don't know what is going on with him. I don't even know if I should call him before I go there as a regural phonecall or just let it all go

 

I said I was worried also. Nobody goes offline just like that with his online accounts. Should I call him in like 10 days? Or just text him or just go there and let it all go. He knows when I am coming, so...

My point is that I am worried that something happened to him e.g. he got fired or something, he is sick, he just got pissed off on everybody, he was lonely for holidays or just getting high too much.

I just don't know if I should do something about it

 

Btw I am going on two dates soon. So I am focusing on other men too.

Edited January 2, 2016 by smokeyrun