Xanndra Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Hi everyone, There is a guy that I like for almost a year now. Last week we talked at a bar and we had a nice time and we went back to his house. We had sex and after we had sex he told me that he had a girlfriend and he kind of regretted having sex with me and that he never cheated before. We talked for a while and I felt he liked me too but he wanted to stay with his girlfriend. So he asked me if I wanted to keep quiet about it and i told him i would and I went home and I forgot about it. Almost 2 weeks later he facebook messaged me at 1:20 in the night and said hey (we aren't friends on facebook). I said hey back the next day and he didnt respond.. What does this mean? The thing is that I really like him and Ive never felt this way about a guy before. What should i do? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Nothing. You shouldn't do anything. No response back to him, nothing. Let him work his life out and you move on with yours. You will be asking for a world of trouble if you continue involvement with him after he has told you that he wanted to stay with his gf. If you have to, tell him to message you if and once he has broken up with her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 You were a one night stand.... NOTHING else. One "hey" in two weeks should tell you. Believe what he said. He wants to stay with his girlfriend and regrets having sex with you. OH... he might call you again if he wants more of the same and his girlfriend is not available. Poppy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xanndra Posted December 27, 2015 Author Share Posted December 27, 2015 Thanks a lot for your responses. I know doing nothing is the wisest thing to do. It's just that I find it weird that he took the effort to look me up on fb and message me.. Its confusing Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Thanks a lot for your responses. I know doing nothing is the wisest thing to do. It's just that I find it weird that he took the effort to look me up on fb and message me.. Its confusing He could have done that for a million reasons, some of which aren't very good at all. The bottom line is, he has unfinished business and it will make you feel like crap, because I promise you, he won't handle it in a way that is to your benefit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Way I Am Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 He messaged you at 1:20am. That's booty call hours. He was probably hoping that you'd respond and you two could have sex. Do not engage. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 You've known him for a year and didn't know he had a gf? And he waited to have sex with you before telling you about having a gf? Which part of that makes him a great guy in your book? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Hi everyone, There is a guy that I like for almost a year now. Last week we talked at a bar and we had a nice time and we went back to his house. We had sex and after we had sex he told me that he had a girlfriend and he kind of regretted having sex with me and that he never cheated before. We talked for a while and I felt he liked me too but he wanted to stay with his girlfriend. So he asked me if I wanted to keep quiet about it and i told him i would and I went home and I forgot about it. Almost 2 weeks later he facebook messaged me at 1:20 in the night and said hey (we aren't friends on facebook). I said hey back the next day and he didnt respond.. What does this mean? The thing is that I really like him and Ive never felt this way about a guy before. What should i do? Thanks He used you for sex. Then after sex he was worried that you would tell so he asked you to keep quiet and you said you would. Now 2 weeks have gone by and you have been a good OW and kept your mouth shut. Now he thinks that he can trust you not to tell anyone so he's thinking about using you some more. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Thanks a lot for your responses. I know doing nothing is the wisest thing to do. It's just that I find it weird that he took the effort to look me up on fb and message me.. Its confusing It's not confusing - it's little effort to obtain free sex. Any guy contacting you after a reasonable evening hour is likely looking for sex. His girlfriend was probably busy or out and he was looking to cheat while she wasn't paying attention closely...I hope you don't respond when he does it again... Or if you respond tell that cheater to buzz off or you will tell his GF immediately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Madame_Noire Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Thanks a lot for your responses. I know doing nothing is the wisest thing to do. It's just that I find it weird that he took the effort to look me up on fb and message me.. Its confusing It isn't confusing at all, he is just weighing up his options and seeing if he can test the waters and hook up again with you while the cat is away. So, he met you in a bar, I hope for your sake you asked him to wear a rubber, God knows what he could have crawling in his pants. He said he never cheated before? If you believe that, you will believe anything. It is like in the films when a girl says she does not go home with the guy on the first date. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Thanks a lot for your responses. I know doing nothing is the wisest thing to do. It's just that I find it weird that he took the effort to look me up on fb and message me.. Its confusing I fear that you're thinking that he thinks you're so great, that the sex was so great, that he can't let you go. Please don't be so naive. His actions would be different if that were the case. What you and a lot of other women underestimate are the lengths that men will go to in order to get sex. This is not about him missing you or any other romantic ideas that may be dancing in your head. It's about easy sex, plain and simple. You would be shocked to learn how cold and calculating men can be. He has already shown you this by sleeping with you first, and only then announcing to you that he's committed to someone else.That alone should have put you in a fury. But it didn't and, trust me, he gets the difference - even if you don't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 He just wants to sleep with you when it is convenient for him. Don't go down that road. I don't care if you've never felt feelings like this before. The guy is a cheater. Move on, you will have strong feelings for someone again. Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Do what is best and walk away. You had a ONS, there was nothing romantic about it. There was no connection or "magic". He told you straight up that he is not leaving his gf. These "feelings" that you talk about is just on your side. Link to post Share on other sites
Akashsingh Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 You can't really force someone to like you. Let it go! Link to post Share on other sites
alwayslookup Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 He cheated. What kind of man do you want to be with? Actually. ..why don't you ask yourself why you don't love yourself enough to find someone who wouldn't cheat? I couldn't imagine actually ever wanting to be with a man who cheated after being at a bar. I mean really...what trust would you ever have for him when he says I'll see you later hun I'm going to the bar with some guys.....you won't have any. It will be hell. You two won't make it. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Thanks a lot for your responses. I know doing nothing is the wisest thing to do. It's just that I find it weird that he took the effort to look me up on fb and message me.. Its confusing what effort? the last time he got you to lay down, all he did was see you in a bar. is that who you are? a bar girl? a booty call? which i have to say, i don't judge good time girls at all. however, he's in a committed **coughcoughpuke** relationship with a real live girlfriend. and i'm sure she would pull your hair and punch your nose if/when she finds out you keep on lowering your bloomers for her boyfriend after he TOLD you about her. and let's consider him for a second, he knew about his girlfriend and he told you after he got his jockey's back up? he's a pig, don't ever lie down with pigs. Link to post Share on other sites
GingerVixen Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 It means you're having sex with a guy in a committed relationship. Karma exists. Bye bye. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 He probably drunk called you at that time of morning because he had a fight with his gf and wanted to get laid again. After more thought he decided against it. So it basically means nothing more than a guy who was contemplating getting laid. If he were interested in you for more than sex he would have more respect than to call you at that time of morning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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