Upsetdan Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 2 and half months separated AGAIN. Last year we were apart for 10 months. I begged cried pleaded for my wife, the mother of my 3 young children to reconcile. I was knocked back over and over. It hurt me that bit more every time but I kept doing it, kept torturing myself. In this time she had a 3 month relationship (3 months into separation with me) with who I can only describe as a boy. She made out best thing ever but I knew through family and friends it was opposite. He cheated over and over and basically used her. I dated a girl for a very short time in hope it would boost confidence and help me move on. It didn't, I compared to wife. It ended. I carried on begging and pleading, still being knocked back. Then February this year out of blue she wanted to spend time with me things went well and we were together again. We spent 10 fantastic months together as a family. My children loved it. We had love and security back. I made sure I did all the things within the relationship that I lacked the first time round. Things were great. My wife was training hard for a 300 mile cycle for charity and this became her focus. Twining everyday and cycling all weekends. I was a bit pushed aside but I supported her at every event, she actually said to me the week before she went on cycle that after it was all about us and she appreciated my love and support. She went, came back, cold!!! We had plans for the weekend, instead of the family Friday we had planned she went out with her friends and stayed at a female friends house (this happened) the Saturday I had made out we was going for a romantic meal just us, but had arranged for many of her friends to be at a restaurant for a surprise meal, she loved it. I was best husband in world that night, she was so happy, the Sunday we had a lovely day and the Monday she ended it. Saying I was paranoid and insecure and did not want to be part of my insecurities again. There is some truth in this. I was paranoid about the men she was away with. I should have kept my Mouth shut. Anyway..... She finished it and I got more needy, begging, pleading, in truth I pushed her away.i questioned every thing and started to accuse her of being with another man. I went on and on, I pushed her away. I drove her mad. With the accusations I made I have made her hate me and she tells me so. Regularly. That she likes nothing about me and will only have contact if about kids. She has been well over the top with her nastiness and things she has said. The sad truth is, she is a drug to me, I am addicted. I know she is not very nice, I know she is all about her self. I know she can be the nastiest person alive. BUT I love her. My heart would love to be with her again. My head says she would do it to me again later down line. She has told me 100% there is no chance she would ever consider being with me. That never would she ever try. No counselling, no help, nothing, she has totally switched off, her feelings for me are dead. But I still hold on to hope that we one day will be together again. She hates me with a passion. I can't deal with it. I need her. I want her. I am scared to be apart from her. The only contact we have is about kids. She is allowing me contact with kids. All these things she has said to me this time she said last. The problem is she has all the control and knows she can have me back when she wants. She has even said to me that she is ready to meet someone else and have a relationship. It tears my heart out. I sit and cry non stop. She never replies to any texts and does not ever answer phone. Can some one give me advice, motivation, anything.... Link to post Share on other sites
blank264 Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 I'm in a similar position. I've built my life around her. Lifting her when she needs it. Supporting her when she needs it. I don't get enough in return. Many times I would work very hard on something I thought she would like only to be verbally abused about something else. I think that's the problem. I don't know what to do now. She sounds like she can be happy without you. Can you learn to be happy without her? That's why I'm here. Learning how to move along. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) Stop whining and crying all the time. Gather yourself and start being a man. No woman in the world likes a man who is so weak and needy. I'm sorry but you need to hear some tough words... Human beings have developed through billions of years through evolution to be independent, to have basic skills to manage to live in this planet. You conduct yourself as a handicap. If you have mental illness - go to therapy and take medicines. If not, straight up, stop stooping and minimizing yourself to your Ex. How can a woman like a flabby man like you're trying to be so hard? I don't mean to insult you or to hurt you. I just want to show you what other people might think of you, especially women. Edited December 27, 2015 by lolablue17 Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Stay completely in NO CONTACT with "the drug" for exactly one year. I promise you will heal. This takes strength. I did it and it worked. I'm free. Good luck. Yas PS See "Kick Love's A$$" for more support. But don't bother if you're not dead serious. Link to post Share on other sites
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