Sadandconfusedxxxx Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Where do I even begin. I'm 25 and the man is 34 he is my brothers best frirnd . We have both found each other attractive for years but because of him being my bro best friend its kind of been off limits. We have text and spoke on the phone for 2 years but it was our secret. We would talk for hours. He told me how much he wanted me and wished things wernt so complicated. Basically he was too scared of the consequences of doing anything about it. We spoke about being a couple and I do believe he did want that. He had a girlfriend and never cheated on her. She got pregnant ...fast forward 18 months they have a 9 month daughter who is his world. He isn't in love with her anymore but doesnt want to be without his daughter. He doesn't want her in a broken home We slept together about 12 weeks ago. He told me how unhappy he is. He said he can't leave his daughter behind. He said I don't want you to be the other woman,you deserve something amazing. He wanted to know if i loved him. He felt so guilty as he has never cheated before and felt like he betrayed his child. Basically he said he couldn't do this and I haven't heard from him since My brother has told me how unhappy he is ...obviously he doesn't know about our history I'm so confused Can anybody help Link to post Share on other sites
Madame_Noire Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Textbook... Seen and read about this thing so many times. He will remain in his unhappy relationship because of the child rather than be a better father out of the relationship. Also, he probably does not want to have to be harrassed for Child Support, most 'cheaters' never leave, they want an easier life staying where they are. Besides, if he did dump her and got with you, you would not be able to trust him because he vowed never to cheat and he did just that. Besides, your tryst was based on him being deceptive... I think him saying he does not love her is him trying to ease his concious, absolve himself of some guilt. If he said he was madly in love with her when he was about to sleep with you, that would be strange. Obviously, there was past chemistry and current sexual tension between you hence why he gave the sob story about not loving his GF and only being with her for the sake of the child. Why would he want to know if you loved him? I hope he is not the sort that would get the hump if you start seeing someone else while he reamins in his miserable predicament. Maybe he did use you, maybe he is a prisoner of his own mind now because he said he has never cheated and now has, not only has he betrayed his GF he has betrayed his child and now every time he looks at his offspring, he will think about his dalliance with you. The guilt will be too much for anyone to bear. Hence why he is keeping a low profile. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Are you this poster? : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/562871-just-seen-him-his-family If you are, I don't see the point of pretending to be someone new here and if you aren't then just read that thread for the answers you seek. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) Agree, I believe its the same poster. Edited December 27, 2015 by privategal Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadandconfusedxxxx Posted December 28, 2015 Author Share Posted December 28, 2015 I haven't posted before although I have read the thread in question and can see similarities. The guy in question with me isn't a alcoholic and isn't abusive. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Are you this poster? : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/562871-just-seen-him-his-family If you are, I don't see the point of pretending to be someone new here and if you aren't then just read that thread for the answers you seek. I know it sounds exactly the same, as were my thoughts. Crazy how similar the situations are! Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 OP I would up and save yourself from this mix and move on. You do not need this and the entanglement it would cause. All MM claim they are unhappy some are and some aren't. Are you willing to give your SELF up for this situation? My advice would be to run as fast as you could from this man. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 OK, serious question: what is it with all the "he's my brother's/ friend/ cousin/ some random relationship/ best friend, thus we had to keep our feelings a secret" posts? Why do you have to keep the relationship a secret just because he is your brother's BFF? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadandconfusedxxxx Posted December 28, 2015 Author Share Posted December 28, 2015 I wouldn't of been ashamed to admit my feelings for him but I do believe he was of me. I think its for the best if I just forget about him. He could of chosen to date me yet he chose to sneak around. I want to be with someone who is proud to have me. His loss. One day he may regret it . Link to post Share on other sites
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