jen_r Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 So, one of the things that keeps me from dating (other than being able to meet people) is my anxiety. And I don't mean anxiety about meeting new people. I mean, I just have anxiety. Sometimes I get anxious when I'm out and about for no reason and I just wanna go home. I can't really commit to plans cause I never know how I will feel that day. If we're going somewhere far, I'm a little hesitant to go...etc. How do I tell the other person that I have these stupid issues? When do I tell them? I have this huge fear that they're going to think "uh oh...she's crazy, see ya". Link to post Share on other sites
67Chevelle Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I would state that you may be an introvert, and you are not a social butterfly but you enjoy getting to know someone 1 on 1. Something like that Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 So, one of the things that keeps me from dating (other than being able to meet people) is my anxiety. And I don't mean anxiety about meeting new people. I mean, I just have anxiety. Sometimes I get anxious when I'm out and about for no reason and I just wanna go home. I can't really commit to plans cause I never know how I will feel that day. If we're going somewhere far, I'm a little hesitant to go...etc. How do I tell the other person that I have these stupid issues? When do I tell them? I have this huge fear that they're going to think "uh oh...she's crazy, see ya". Are you seeing a therapist? If your anxiety is hugely impacting on your day to day living, you really need to get some professional guidance. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Anxiety can be well controlled with therapy & medication. If you are not currently under the care of a doctor consult one about your anxiety. As for telling someone new, don't. This is not something that has to be announced. Get to know the person & then after the person has gained your trust if it comes up in casual conversation mention it. I am not suggesting you hide your condition or lie about it but there is absolutely no need to lead with it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Anxiety can be well controlled with therapy & medication. If you are not currently under the care of a doctor consult one about your anxiety. As for telling someone new, don't. This is not something that has to be announced. Get to know the person & then after the person has gained your trust if it comes up in casual conversation mention it. I am not suggesting you hide your condition or lie about it but there is absolutely no need to lead with it It's better not to tell new people to protect yourself from possible hurtful comments. Even telling people you've known for a long time can be risky. Anxiety/depression/mental illness, although common, is not a comfortable topic for many people, so that's why it's better to talk to a therapist first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_r Posted December 29, 2015 Author Share Posted December 29, 2015 Are you seeing a therapist? If your anxiety is hugely impacting on your day to day living, you really need to get some professional guidance. I tried a couple years ago and it didn't really help me. And I'm terrified to take medication. I take an herbal anxiety med that helps with day to day anxiety but not with panic attacks. Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 (edited) I tried a couple years ago and it didn't really help me. And I'm terrified to take medication. I take an herbal anxiety med that helps with day to day anxiety but not with panic attacks. Yeh, it takes quite a bit of searching to find a decent therapist. I too am afraid of medication, it tends to exacerbate my anxiety. Some natural remedies have helped me but after a while lose their effect. Chinese medicine has probably been the most effective but you really need to consult a specialist rather than experiment yourself. Chinese date seed(zizyphus) is a particularly effective anxiolytic and is good for sleep too. This is something you could try on your own. Out of all the therapies I've tried, feldenkrais therapy has been the most helpful. It's a body-focused therapy which also assists in relaxing the mind. Anxiety and panic is caused by dissociation(leaving one's body) and feldenkrais helps to ground you and keep you anchored within your body. It's very worthwhile if you are in need of learning how to be calm. Edited December 30, 2015 by truthtripper 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Unlike depression, the medications to treat anxiety are generally safer and more effective. Free yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 I would try dating, keeping anxiety to yourself. Then, if you have problems because of it when making or setting dates, tell them that's the reason. If I found you attractive and a good person inside, I'd have no issues working around your anxiety, meeting at your place to spend time together, whatever it was to help ease anxiety issues so you felt comfortable. Any decent guy you'd want to see should feel the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Go see a Homeopathic Doctor or Practicing professional of this nature. Truthtripper is correct, the feldenkrais technique is Aplus in my book! Hiding your anxiety is common ( its how it keeps itself thriving)...which is why therapy is encouraged. . The goal is to find that stable remedy, be it thru diet, restraint of certain exacerbating chemicals or even meditation. The sad thing is, that it takes such effort to accept that this condition is ongoing ...and in constant need of modifications. Have you tried aroma therapy? I use it when I have to go out ...lavender oils do wonders to dissipate the symptoms. Link to post Share on other sites
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