I want everything back to normal again.. read

[Taurus21]

First off I have to give you a background of my story I will keep it as short as possible.

On November 16 I found my wife with another man at a bar when she told me she would be at work. My mistake was to confront them about it, well i did and they denied anything was going on. My wife insults me in front of this man because I started making a slight scene according to her. As the bar closes she decides not to go home with me to her fathers house where we live and instead leaves with this man. Devasted as I was I went to her fathers house and tell him what I saw, mistake two. We chat for a bit then he goes to bed. As the hours become longer I text her to please call me. No response. I'm shocked as we have been married over two years and never even a hint of infidelity even occurred so seeing this before my eyes caught me by surprise. I get very depressed and I start thinking about suicide. I text her again no response, it is now 430am and she has not showed up or called. I tell myself this is it and attempt to take my life by swallowing my whole prescription of Prozac. Unsuccessful and scared of the further steps I may take I call the suicide hotline, in 20 minutes police arrive and I'm rushed to the hospital. On the way there I pass out from the overdose and next thing I remember is waking to see my father in law next to my bed calling me a coward and asking all these questions, the next day I get sent to a pshy ward, here I spend the next 3 days. My wife finally visits me and explains I blew everything out of porportion that the man I saw met my wife to sign documents for a investment contract. I believe her but ask why so late at night, I did my research and her story checks out except for the part of going out late.

 

Anyways I forgive my wife for not telling me and not being completely transparent with me and move on from that. She picks me up from the hospital and tells me I can't live at her parents house anymore. She says it would be better they didn't know we got back together. I immediately book a hotel for the next 3 days to spend time with her as I had no roof over my head. My family is 3 states away and I have no relatives or friends I could crash until I find my own place. Together we try the best we can to find a apartment to live together and move our stuff from storage to it. This area was very competive and finding a place was not easy. After our 3 day stay I tell her I will be living in my car until I can secure a place which takes time. The whole time we meet is very secretive. Nobody could be in her parents house and the times they were I would have to be extra quiet according to her so her family doesn't find out. After living in my car for about a week and a half I finally got everything squared away, I got approved for an apartment in the price range and area I wanted, I turn on ultities, I pay for movers to help me and I move in and start organizing the new place.

 

Here is where it starts to get interesting. After I finish setting up the whole apartment my wife doesn't move in. She says she needs some time. 2 weeks later she moves in but very slowly bringing stuff over from her fathers house to our apartment. At this point it's about a month after my suicide attempt and she says it's still fresh in their minds and she can't tell them yet. My wife does tell them she "moved out" and got her own place. So there is some small steps.

 

Anyways it's now today and here is basically my life with her..

 

We sparingly hang out together 2-4 hours tops every couple of days. For the most part she is at her family's house or doing something with the family. The times she does spend over 4 hours is when she comes in or I pick her up from her parents house at 3am when everyone is asleep. Again it is the holidays so I can see why, example her sister came from Dallas to visit family.

 

I think it is unfair I'm put in this position with her, so far I have spend Christmas Eve alone and most of Christmas Day. As I write this I am alone and she is with her family on a day we both said would be our day, a day where she said she had no plans, but yet I feel I'm second place to her mother because even though I make plans with her I'm dropped because her mother wants her to join her to go shopping.

 

So that's my story, to sum it up I feel very alone and feel she is not addressing my needs and wants, it's punishment I feel. She even tells me to move my car so they won't see it when they stop by. No big deal but still I feel I need some advice on this. All I wanted from her was her to be there for me on an emotional level that we can both agree on and not this, I didn't picture it to be this way.

[MissThang]

This is such a sad story. I feel so sorry for you.

 

You were not being wrong in confronting her and that man she was with. She did say she was working and then you find her out, late with a man, she wasnt transparent, and you acted in a way anyone who is being lied to would have.

 

This woman doesnt respect or care for you very much. Insulting you infront of this man? Instead of appologising to him for the drama, and explaining to you what is happening. Spending the night with this man? For what? Why? Who spends the night with a business partner? While her man is suspicious of her fedility with cause?!

 

Why is her family now allienating you? She should be in your corner, protecting and standing up for you to them. Instead of allowing them to be ugly to you. It is her fault things are like this.

How long will she keep it from her family that she is seeing her husband? You are her family and she should not be putting her parents wishes above her husbands. What is she even telling them about you... I dont trust her much, if she isnt trying to make things better, maybe she has said horrible things about you to them, to make them so against you. And now she cant set the record straight cause it will expose her somehow. Or have you done other horrible things that make her parents hate you, that you have not said in this post?

Whatever the case, if she still wants to be with you then she should defend you to them, and tell them that you are going through a hard time and she has to be by your side as your wife.

You need therapy/counselling, alone and as a couple. You need to talk work through this. You cant be attempting suicide because of her wrong doings. And she cant be so disregarding of your emotional needs.

 

Good luck

[privategal]

Nothing about this story adds up.

Why were you living with her parents in the 1st place? Do you work?

Im wondering why the parents turned their back on you...it surely isn't the suicide attempt, that should bring compassion so its strange.

She likely wants her parents to assume shes in some sort of victim role.

So when her Dad spoke to her about seeing another man since you told him, she probably threw you under the bus and called you crazy etc causing her parents to see you in another light.

But, back to you...your marriage is in SERIOUS trouble. Your wife not disclosing investment with you that she is signing late at night?

And she would let her husband live in a car even for a day let alone a week?

And not spending holidays with her HUSBAND?

This is a mess. A true mess.

She has lost all respect for you and I wouldn't be surprised if the documents she was signing were divorce papers or something set up to have a life apart from you.

I feel your wife is lying about EVERYTHING.

[lucy_in_disguise]

To me whether or not she cheated is almost irrelevent here given the way she and her family have treated you since you confronted her at the bar. You are married and supposed to be family and inatead of showing support and compassion after you tried an attempt on your life, they have alienated you to the point where you are spending the holidays literally homeless. I would treat a stray dog better than that and i cant believe your wife is allowing this to happen. This cant be healthy under any circumstances and is particularly troubling given your fragile emotional state and the fact that she was at least partially responsible for your breakdown.

 

Personally, I would seek a separation and go stay with some family or friends until you are stronger. I dont think its the right time to be working on your marriage, because it is clear the conditions that have been set by your wife, are totally unacceptable. How long was she planning to keep seeing you (her HUSBAND) in secret? Until you can both see that this is not how you fix this, you need some space and to be somewhere where you are supported.

 

Did her parents disapprove of your relationship before this event? I am frankly surprised by the cold treatment you are getting from all parties. As other posters have saod, somehing doesnt add up - most people would have a very different response to this scenario.

[road]

My gut reaction is she got you to believe her lie about doing a business deal.

 

 

She was out on a date and went home and banged that OM. Also there has to be more lies she told her parents because they threw you out of the house. Makes no sense for them to keep a husband and wife apart.

 

 

Also smells fishy that she has not moved in with you full time.

[Popsicle]

Hypothetically, if your wife wanted to leave you, would she be able to tell you that and you not kill yourself?

[privategal]

My gut reaction is she got you to believe her lie about doing a business deal.

 

 

She was out on a date and went home and banged that OM. Also there has to be more lies she told her parents because they threw you out of the house. Makes no sense for them to keep a husband and wife apart.

 

 

Also smells fishy that she has not moved in with you full time.

 

 

Exactly she was lying because if it was an innocent meeting to sign some quick investment paperwork, why lie about going to work? And also once you showed up, why weren't you invited to sit down and join your wife and this colleague?

 

 

How could your wife leave with another man at 2am? And never come home for the evening? That's the height of disrespect.

And you said she FINALLY visited you in the hospital ?

How long did she wait when you nearly died and were admitted?

She didn't rush to your side? WHY?

 

 

Im sure her Dad lit into her about why she is having an affair once you told him you saw her with another man, and in order to not look like a cheater caught red handed, she made you out to be a monster.

 

 

I would stop over at the parents house when your wife isn't there and get the parents side of the story. Nothing adds up at all.

[Taurus21]

I know this story doesn't add up, I know a lot of you have unanswered questions. Here is what I can add to try to bring light to my story.

 

My wife and I were living in Florida we have a 6 year old daughter together but she is not mine. The real father never paid child support to her and the couple times he did was maybe $200 here and there in a span of two years. I told her it didn't matter to me if he paid or not and I eventually wanted to move us out of the state because he kept harassing her to see his daughter but she didn't really trust him, anyways one time she let him take care of our daughter on the day after Mother's Day our daughter comes back with a nasty carpet burn on her back about a small palm size, I tell her that's it he can't see her anymore, I tell her if you don't call DCF on his ass I will. She agrees and a report is put on him. Anyways fast forward 3 months later it's now September of this year and a coworker tells her someone is trying to serve her on her day she was off. I look into the matter myself and find out the father is trying to seek parental rights, she freaks out and wants to move out of state for fear he will see her daughter more now. She come up with a plan for us to move out state and into her parents house avoiding the serving entirely. I'm an senior online college student so I obliged to please her and keep her worry free, less then 2weeks later we put our stuff in storage and move into her parents..

 

Anyways that is why we moved into her parents house

[Taurus21]

As far as a reason why her parents don't like me I can tell you several reasons why but most I think have to do with jealously.

 

For instance Her father asked me if I could look into finding a new chrome rear bumper for his f150. I look into it and told him I will see what I can find, two days later he ask me what I found, I show him pics and prices and he says it's a great deal and asks if I could buy it and he pays me back when it arrives. Since this was a insurance case I ask him, "are you sure? It can get here quickly, would you rather wait til you get the insurance money?" He says no and tells me to go put in the order, mind you, this is face to face, I show him the confirmation and I tell him I'll send you a link so you can track it.

 

Sounds normal so far? Read on...

 

The two parts arrive, he sees them and inspects them, he is satisfied and asks me if I would help him install it? I say of course, when would you like to, he says right now with joy on his face. I say okay. I help him and do most of the work as he says I'll let you do it you seem to know what your doing. He helps sparingly more so holding a flashlight here and there minor things. Anyways the bumper is a complete success and he is satisfied and asks me how much for your labor I tell him free, no charge that it was a pleasure in helping family. He says ok I will pay for the bumper in a couple of days.

 

Still normal? Read on..

 

He pays for the bumper and about a week goes by and my wife comes up to me that her father went up to her and tells her that I forced him to buy the bumper that he had plans for that money for something else and I went behind his back. I tell her he is lying and I have proof, I show her the email I sent him also saying "are you sure?" I send her another email saying "ok it's on the way, no rush to pay me back I can wait til you get the insurance money" emails dated 2 weeks before this..

 

Her analysis? She tells me anything you do with my father make sure you run it by me because he will twist things up. I ask twist things up? Why? Does he have something against me?

 

Believe me after that when he asks me to get a phone battery for his iPhone 5 I called my wife over the three of us face to face and tell her "hey I'm just letting you know I'm buying a phone battery that your dad is asking me to buy for him" "can you look at this?" Ok Hun I see its $21 her dad agrees

 

The same day I installed the battery for him he pays me on the spot and no twisting things up happened this time..