bathtub-row Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Yes, she manipulated you and you fell for it. If you have any sense, you'll leave her and either divorce her or have the marriage annulled. No one changes that drastically that quickly unless they already had an agenda. Her agenda was to find some guy gullible enough to marry her and provide for her and her kids. Also, the fact that she refuses to acknowledge how hurtful this is to you is just another sign that she conned you intentionally. Unless this is the life you want for the next 50 years, I'd recommend that you get out now. And beware, she is very likely to have sex with you only to get pregnant so that she can entrap you further. This is a total no-win situation for you. I'm sorry this happened. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Vilgefoz Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 My wife and I tied the knot ... yeah man.... there smells something manipulative about this... If what you say is objective and she changed her attitude so quickly, maybe she had a reason to be insincere? She did give you a good time in bed before marriage and now when she got what she wanted she is acting differently? And why would that be? Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Filing for divorce and giving up is not an option. I want to do everything possible to make our marriage work. Yeah. You'll do everything possible to make your marriage work. But she won't. Please read that again. She's not working on anything. She's banking on that marriage license to be her and her kids' meal ticket. She will wear you down with excuses until you get sick to death of them and realize there's no sense in talking about it anymore. Which is exactly what she wants you to do. And, btw, your attitude about not giving up is precisely what she was banking on when she conned you into marrying her. You will continue to lay in her trap because you think walking away from someone who lied to you and manipulated you is somehow wrong. She picked her victim well. We'll see you in three years talking about how you're so sorry you ever met her. And again in about ten years when you're talking about how much you hate her. Then you'll be talking about the affair you're having. And it will go on and on and on. Then one day you'll wake up and realize that you have been used and you'll completely regret your decision not to walk away when all the signs were there from the very beginning. Sit back and watch because you're delusional if you think things will ever get better. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 I'm amazing to her. I love her, treat her with respect, take care of her and her kids. I always communicate my feelings to her, support her in anything she wants, she comes first to me. I'm beginning to feel like she manipulated me into marriage, that she pretended to be someone she is not. Now here I am going to school, the primary care provider to her 2 kids (whom I love very much), and taking care of all of her needs...even bathing her...while she acts like we aren't even married anymore. I'm becoming seriously depressed. What is going on? What do I do? Stop this fawning over her right now! If you treat a girl like a princess, one of two things will happen: 1. she will get bored and leave or 2. she will become a princess. And your wife has become a princess of the highest order. No more putting her first. She's your equal. And your needs are just as important as hers. A couple of questions: Why are you being her children's primary care giver? This is wrong on so many levels - and those kids are going to get really screwed up if their mother hands their care over to someone else. You're at school and looking after her kids, so is she the breadwinner? Who makes decisions about money? Why do you bathe your wife? Is she disabled and incapable of bathing herself? If so, do you get any outside assistance for her? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Stop this fawning over her right now! If you treat a girl like a princess, one of two things will happen: 1. she will get bored and leave or 2. she will become a princess. And your wife has become a princess of the highest order. No more putting her first. She's your equal. And your needs are just as important as hers. A couple of questions: Why are you being her children's primary care giver? This is wrong on so many levels - and those kids are going to get really screwed up if their mother hands their care over to someone else. You're at school and looking after her kids, so is she the breadwinner? Who makes decisions about money? Why do you bathe your wife? Is she disabled and incapable of bathing herself? If so, do you get any outside assistance for her? This isn't always true. My husband treats me like royalty because he loves me. There is also reciprocity because I do many things for my husband that other women refuse to do for their husbands. He is my prince and I am his princess. I take care of my husband in any way I can out of pure love and devotion. I believe that there is something very beautiful about that. Since we're talking about sex, my husband and I also have a very satisfying sex life. Though I wasn't a virgin when I met him, my husband taught me many things that I never did before we started making love. He has been the best lover I have ever had. With all that being said, my husband does not bathe me unless we are taking a shower together and we are washing each other's bodies. The OP's wife comes across as very selfish and calculative. There's something very sinister about a person who would stop being enthusiastically sexually right after she gets married. There is no way my husband would have tolerated such antics from me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 I meant "enthusiastically sexual" not "sexually." Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
11012015 Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 My wife and I tied the knot on Halloween after only 3 months of dating. I felt an instant almost surreal connection with her. We are 28 and 29. Prior to that day, we had an extremely healthy sex life. She eagerly pursued me intimately, and often wanted some form of sexual release multiple times a day. This all changed, literally ON our wedding day. I've always been a selfless lover and she achieves orgasm easily. Now my wife appears to have ZERO sex drive, interest in being touched, or touching me. This has gone on for the whole 2 months of our marriage. The few times we have been intimate, she acted like it was a chore and she hated it. I've tried talking to her about it on like 5 or 6 occasions. I've told her how this change has me worried, self conscious. That I miss connecting with her and our passion. I've never shown anger or hostility about it. I'm amazing to her. I love her, treat her with respect, take care of her and her kids. I always communicate my feelings to her, support her in anything she wants, she comes first to me. Every time I've asked her why our intimacy changed, she has given me different reasons. Such as; self esteem issues, she doesn't feel well, is tired, has been stressed. Last night she laid on me that when we make love it has always just been sex to her and about getting off. She feels connected to me when we cuddle etc etc and doesn't care about or need sex, nor does she feel more connected to me when we are having sex. I was thoroughly disgusted. How can someone profess to love me, yet feel nothing but the need to orgasm if we are going to make love? AND suddenly on our wedding day and after no longer want sex? I'm beginning to feel like she manipulated me into marriage, that she pretended to be someone she is not. Now here I am going to school, the primary care provider to her 2 kids (whom I love very much), and taking care of all of her needs...even bathing her...while she acts like we aren't even married anymore. I'm becoming seriously depressed. What is going on? What do I do? You are being used. What do you need to do? Annulment. Look it up. Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Who marries for the wrong reasons (great sex) will divorce for the right reason ( lack of sex) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 Your name is HubbyBear? You're probably the type of guy who lurves marriage. Which means you'll never divorce her. You're stuck so I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 Your name is HubbyBear? You're probably the type of guy who lurves marriage. Which means you'll never divorce her. You're stuck so I wish you luck. Nothing wrong with loving marriage....unless you're married to a deceiver. Link to post Share on other sites
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