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'That' Christmas/NYE reach out text


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Hope everyone had a good Christmas.

With the festivities over and New year looming I've been considering the likelihood of the New Year's Eve text, the one where CM 'forced' to endure NYE with his SO, sneaks off to send a 'wish you were here, happy new year' text. To be honest, with being on my own for Christmas and New Year I've been giving the whole thing far too much head space so that it has become a dread.

 

Every year he reaches out just before and I've fell for it hook line and .. Well, this year it has been strict NC since we finished business Christmas Eve and will continue over the entire holiday.

I wanted to share a very poignant article from Natalie Lue which I read for the first time this year, puts these things into perspective

 

If your idea of breaking no contact and reaching out and saying something meaningful is to send a text, you’re engaging in low level (low risk and low effort) contact but trying to pass it off as high effort.

 

If you’re making a big deal out of texts, you’ve become acclimatised to a diet of crumbs – it’s time to expect more for and from yourself.

 

Proportionate Responses: It?s JUST a text | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

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But you'll be back in it after the holidays then?

Does NC really matter now if you go back to accepting crumbs next year. It's just more of the same. Accept the role of OW with open arms.... where you get crumbs like a bird or end it.

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But you'll be back in it after the holidays then?

Does NC really matter now if you go back to accepting crumbs next year. It's just more of the same. Accept the role of OW with open arms.... where you get crumbs like a bird or end it.

 

No we unfortunately have work/business arrangement that means NC in its true sense isn't possible without one of us compensating the other which isn't currently achievable.

In the past I have accepted the little he offered but things changed.

historically the holidays have been a time for him to push the boundaries.

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Can you block his number, even if just over new year? That way you won't have to wonder whether he's going to text since you know he can't.

 

In my case I changed the password on our email account and feel much better after having done so, now I get 2 weeks of time to reflect without anticipating contact. He won't text me as he's always afraid I'll respond I'll respond when w is using his phone.

 

The minute I changed the password I felt I had taken power back, it was a great feeling.

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