Mr. Lucky Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 The fact that they are identical twins is irrelevant. Thus, the girlfriend had no right whatsoever to commit what was certainly assault or battery as she approached someone sitting alone and minding his own business. You cannot just walk up and kiss someone as an intro, when you don't previously have their permission for so doing. Do you carry a consent form - duplicate I'd guess, so both partners get a copy - that your partner signs on a per occasion basis before she walks up and embraces you? Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 The fact that they are identical twins is irrelevant. Thus, the girlfriend had no right whatsoever to commit what was certainly assault or battery as she approached someone sitting alone and minding his own business. You cannot just walk up and kiss someone as an intro, when you don't previously have their permission for so doing. I am not sure if you're aware of this, but since women were given the vote and pretty much more-or-less equal status to men, it's ok for a woman to approach her BF (or whom she believes to be, her BF) and kiss him. The mistaken identity in this specific factor you cite, is irrelevant. She thought it was her guy. She had every right to undo the ball-and-chain, leave the kitchen sink, and plant one on him without first demurely seeking approval to do so. It's 2016, BtW..... Just in case your calendar is stuck on 1816..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 (edited) The fact that they are identical twins is irrelevant. Thus, the girlfriend had no right whatsoever to commit what was certainly assault or battery as she approached someone sitting alone and minding his own business. You cannot just walk up and kiss someone as an intro, when you don't previously have their permission for so doing. The girlfriend wants to use the fact that they are twins as her excuse, and it simply has no bearing on anything other than, potentially, her sincere intent. Yet that doesn't change the fact that she made the first move onto someone who had not consented to the physical approach, and who was potentially too drunk to give consent no matter what she initiated. Based on what the OP has told us she approached his brother in the honest belief that he was Jon96, and he responded as though he was indeed Jon96. Jon96 himself has already made it very clear to you that he is happy for his girlfriend to take the initiative in touching/kissing him. If the two of them are happy with that, I can't think why on earth anybody else should have a problem with it. Being drunk doesn't make a person incapable of consenting to kissing, heavy petting or sex. Not unless they're drunk to the point where they've blacked out or are close to blacking out (eg unresponsive, incapable of pushing a person away). Drunk or not, the brother was clearly still at a point where he was capable of responding to the overtures in an enthusiastic way. I bet you most people here have at some point "got off with" another person while they were drunk, who they might not normally be interested in - or in some cases (as with the current situation) who they know they shouldn't be kissing/heavy petting with. Drink lowers the inhibitions. People who are trying to give up smoking or who are on diets will often let all the good resolutions fly by the way side and do what they know they shouldn't really be doing while they're drunk. They're not out of control...they're just being undisciplined. Often that's exactly why we drink. To let out our wild side. To give ourselves excuses to do what we know we shouldn't be doing. Sometimes that might mean snogging (or even having sex with) somebody who you wouldn't get involved with sober. I can think of times when I was younger I got drunk and responded enthusiastically when somebody I didn't normally fancy went in for a kiss. I can also think of times I was equally, or more, drunk and knocked back the advances of somebody who no strength of vodka goggles would induce me to be attracted to. In the former scenario the usual response would be to feel embarrassed, or even a bit ashamed of yourself for having snogged somebody you didn't really fancy. Maybe you'd avoid the person for a bit. You might be concerned that they would develop a longer term interest that you don't reciprocate - and if that's the case, it results in an awkward situation that has to be addressed. Alternatively, you might become smitten - and then make the unfortunate discovery that they were the one wearing beer goggles that night! These are the growing up experiences that teach people to resolve to do better. Maybe drink less in future, or learn to retain better discipline and make more careful decisions even while they are drinking...but I think it would take a special sort of person to feel like a victim in such scenarios situation, and to portray the person who made overtures to them (and who they willingly responded to) as an abuser. And not special in a good way. Being drunk doesn't preclude a person from saying no or pushing away an amorous person they're not interested in or demonstrating disinterest by shifting away from them. If the person persists in making advances after being given those messages - then absolutely that's a concerning situation. That clearly didn't happen here, and I think it's very worrying that you would perceive such a situation in the way you've defined. It suggests to me that if somebody told you they regretted responding with drunken enthusiasm to a normally unwanted admirer's advances, you might encourage them to make the sort of allegation that could cause serious problems for another person (and also, potentially, for themselves). Edited January 4, 2016 by Taramere Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 You cannot just walk up and kiss someone as an intro, when you don't previously have their permission for so doing. In her mind, she kissed her own boyfriend. It was a mistake. And of course, she does have his permission to kiss him as an intro. In the brother's mind, who was he kissing? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 (edited) In her mind, she kissed her own boyfriend. It was a mistake. Right. For something to be a crime there's a requirement for both action and intent. Her action was wrong, but her intention was honest. The brother, on the other hand, knowingly kissed and fondled his brother's girlfriend. What isn't clear is whether he knew that she thought he was the OP. If he did know that, then he's done something more seriously wrong....but that knowledge is not something he'd be likely to admit to, and would probably - in all honesty, be difficult for the girlfriend to prove beyond reasonable doubt (ie if she took this one to the authorities). Edited January 4, 2016 by Taramere Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 I have to agree with most posters, I had and still have a set of twins as friends that are so alike I could hardly EVER tell them apart, for years! They looked/dressed/and acted, spoke very similarly. To this day I still have to look closely to tell them apart. Add alcohol, loud music, a part atmosphere, it is easy to see how this could have happened on the girlfriends part. The brother is a POS, in my opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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