Why am I jealous when I know how bad he is :( [updated]

[kaisergal]

Here's my story :

 

I've gotten myself in a major pickle and need some wordsof wisdom or guidance to see which path to take.... Basically ive been involvedsexually with a guy on off for four years a general bad egg -alcoholic,compulsive liar,thief etc.

 

Anyway he has never been full on honest with me on a no of occasions hehas made out he was single but wasn’t. I woke up one night to someone bashingat the door only to be punched several times in the face by his then girlfriendthat was a few years ago.

 

I went with him again in April only for his thengirlfriend to find out and kick him out only for his ex gf from several yearsago to come back into his life and is also general nasty piece of work - shebefriended me when I first met him when I

 

told her he had been with me andanother woman who he later moved in with. We ended up falling out as was using me to get one over on me andhim. She is married with a child.

 

I really don’t know why but since April I have beenpassing on info to the ex from the womans husband in order for her to use itagainst them as really don’t like the one he is with now. I

 

bumped into the guy in question two weeksago only for us to have a drunken thumble for him to then kick me out anddiscovering he has stolen money from my purse. Me being drunk and stupid I messaged the ex gf only for her to kick offand to tell everyone in my local pub what had happened and that im a slag andhave disgraced myself etc etc.

 

That was two weeks ago I have kept a low key but I am nowscared to go out I am worried as I will be confronted verbally as somepeople are genuinely not pleased with me going as far as asking my friend toditch me as a friend. I was due to goout Saturday but physically felt I couldn’t. What do I do didn’t think the ex would kick up as much fuss as she has.

[Ms. Faust]

Sounds like you are the most comfortable when you havea lot of drama going on.

[Midwestmissy]

It's a bit out of control, isn't it? My in laws behave in these over the top dramatic ways because it makes a lot of noise to distract from actually acting and dealing with life as adults. Noise noise noise.

[goodyblue]

Why in the world are you involved with these drama loving weirdos? Find new friends. Nobody needs that garbage in their life, seriously.

[privategal]

So theres alcoholism, cheating, gossip, violence? This is more drama then any one person should be affiliated with.

What are your dreams?

What did you want from life?

Why is it the price you pay for easy sex is to wreck your whole life?

You are the only one who can change your life.

Id seriously explore a WHOLE overhaul. A move to a new city, a fresh start, and start living the life on the straight path and in a way that would allow you to contribute to the world in a positive way and to smile and feel free.

You get one life and the one your living sounds dark and sad.

You made this bed.

You need out of this mess and away from EVERY single person affiliated with it.

Reconnect with your family, distant friends, your church...explore relocation...change your course starting today.

You werehonestly worried about going out Saturday? Your priorities are way off.

I wish you the best truly don't wanna put you down but rather hope the message you get from everyone here will be enough to make you open your eyes now.

[GunslingerRoland]

Didn't you post this in a different forum yesterday? Did it get deleted?

 

Anyway my comment still stands. You need to look at yourself in the mirror, look at your life, look at these people you are associating with.

 

We all have needs, but as a woman, if you really need to get your rocks off there has to be a better choice out there, then this crazy guy who has caused you so much hurt in the past.

 

Stop hanging out in bars, those are for college students and low lives.

[Bluebelle38]

What is wrong with you? Are you that desperate for a man that you will allow yourself to be used, physically attacked and cheated on.

 

Pick your self respect up off the floor and get into therapy. You have serious issues. He us not the problem. It is you that keeps going back for more. The man is a loser.

[kaisergal]

So theres alcoholism, cheating, gossip, violence? This is more drama then any one person should be affiliated with.

What are your dreams?

What did you want from life?

Why is it the price you pay for easy sex is to wreck your whole life?

You are the only one who can change your life.

Id seriously explore a WHOLE overhaul. A move to a new city, a fresh start, and start living the life on the straight path and in a way that would allow you to contribute to the world in a positive way and to smile and feel free.

You get one life and the one your living sounds dark and sad.

You made this bed.

You need out of this mess and away from EVERY single person affiliated with it.

Reconnect with your family, distant friends, your church...explore relocation...change your course starting today.

You werehonestly worried about going out Saturday? Your priorities are way off.

I wish you the best truly don't wanna put you down but rather hope the message you get from everyone here will be enough to make you open your eyes now.

 

 

I don't know why I keep getting involved with him let alone giving info to a woman who 2 years ago punched me in face! When u say got priorities wrong what u mean

[kaisergal]

Why in the world are you involved with these drama loving weirdos? Find new friends. Nobody needs that garbage in their life, seriously.

 

 

This I do not know

[kaisergal]

Didn't you post this in a different forum yesterday? Did it get deleted?

 

Anyway my comment still stands. You need to look at yourself in the mirror, look at your life, look at these people you are associating with.

 

We all have needs, but as a woman, if you really need to get your rocks off there has to be a better choice out there, then this crazy guy who has caused you so much hurt in the past.

 

Stop hanging out in bars, those are for college students and low lives.

 

I haven't been to pub for nearly a month now which is a start I should've left them all to it

[Poppy47]

YOu seem to be unstable and are associating with a lotof low life people.

Why?

Poppy.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Didn't you post this in a different forum yesterday? Did it get deleted?

 

Anyway my comment still stands. You need to look at yourself in the mirror, look at your life, look at these people you are associating with.

 

We all have needs, but as a woman, if you really need to get your rocks off there has to be a better choice out there, then this crazy guy who has caused you so much hurt in the past.

 

Stop hanging out in bars, those are for college students and low lives.

 

My thoughts exactly. My comment on your other thread still stands as well.

[kaisergal]

My thoughts exactly. My comment on your other thread still stands as well.

 

I know I really don't know why I continued to have contact especially the Ex of the bloke who punched me in face one actually said I deserved to die of aids made a mistake but am not bad. . Haven't been out for few wks either having me time

 

Do not know why I allowed to associate for so long with these peeps

[whichwayisup]

You need to start loving and respecting yourself. Find people who are kindhearted, genuine and trustworthy. You've wasted too many years of your life on a loser.

 

WALK away from it all. You know who he is and the drama that surrounds him, just let it go for your own sanity. You owe him nothing!!

 

This is your choice, stay and get mixed up in crap and drama or walk away. Those are your two options.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I know I really don't know why I continued to have contact especially the Ex of the bloke who punched me in face one actually said I deserved to die of aids made a mistake but am not bad. . Haven't been out for few wks either having me time

 

Do not know why I allowed to associate for so long with these peeps

 

Then LEARN from this experience so you don't repeat it. It's very simple. You have the power to change your circumstance and the first step is steering clear of ALL those people then start minding your own business.

[kaisergal]

Then LEARN from this experience so you don't repeat it. It's very simple. You have the power to change your circumstance and the first step is steering clear of ALL those people then start minding your own business.

 

 

I just feel why did I allow this to happen in first place speaking to woman again who literally assaulted me so she could **** stir pathetic on both our parts yet she goes nuts on what I done really should've left them to it

[kaisergal]

You need to start loving and respecting yourself. Find people who are kindhearted, genuine and trustworthy. You've wasted too many years of your life on a loser.

 

WALK away from it all. You know who he is and the drama that surrounds him, just let it go for your own sanity. You owe him nothing!!

 

This is your choice, stay and get mixed up in crap and drama or walk away. Those are your two options.

 

Yes you are right the ex gf is no more nicer than he is.., all got agendas and people fighting over him I guess is pathetic on all accounts. In general im a good nice person not like these at all

[Michelle ma Belle]

I just feel why did I allow this to happen in first place speaking to woman again who literally assaulted me so she could **** stir pathetic on both our parts yet she goes nuts on what I done really should've left them to it

 

If you want to figure out the WHY then perhaps you should consider therapy. If this is a pattern in your life in terms of hanging around toxic and unstable people then it might be wise to seek some professional help to figure out why you surround yourself with so much drama and how to put an end to it once and for all.

[kaisergal]

If you want to figure out the WHY then perhaps you should consider therapy. If this is a pattern in your life in terms of hanging around toxic and unstable people then it might be wise to seek some professional help to figure out why you surround yourself with so much drama and how to put an end to it once and for all.

 

 

What im doing... A normal person wouldn't talk to a woman let alone help after being physically assaulted. I know he's a serious bad egg last time I saw him he stole money from me yet it was me being called a slag and how I deserved to die by others

[Lobouspo]

Sorry, you got yourself into this mess. No sympathy whatsoever

[kaisergal]

Sorry, you got yourself into this mess. No sympathy whatsoever

 

 

How is it all me

[Ms. Faust]

How is it all me

 

Is he forcing you to sleep and be associated with him? No? Then it's you.

[kaisergal]

Is he forcing you to sleep and be associated with him? No? Then it's you.

 

 

I feel **** yet again he has talked way out of it again

[privategal]

I feel **** yet again he has talked way out of it again

 

I think you've had some good advice, you are a grown adult capable of ending a bad situation.

You saw you were assulted, see all the people that know you at the joints you frequent are gossiping and planting rumors and associated with your ex. If you continue to associate with these bars, the ex, and this unhealthy situation you have to also own the chaos and circumstances that come with it.

You have gotten some rather blunt replies here...what more can we help you with specifically? YOU need a hard look in the mirror and to own that no one else is dragging you into repeated contact with this circle but YOU. YOU can only change this by moving forward and removing yourself.

You were assulted and you carry on with the toxic contact with all of his friends including the one who assaulted you....what is the outcome here in your hopes? What do you wish the end result to be? Lets start there bevause you are ignoring all of our advice???

[olivebranch]

he always gets away with it because, you let him…