BuddyX Posted January 19, 2016 Share Posted January 19, 2016 Good job. NC. It appears you're her parentheses. She'll contact you when it's convenient for her. Do you want to wait for the crumbs? It's funny how people say "I was so busy and could not respond". But I bet when you guys started going out it was constant Texting and Calling. What changed? Think abou that... Also, it takes less then 5 sec to text "miss you" or "call you later". She can always find time. Run. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Her behavior appears to be like a few people I've known that drink too much or take drugs. Something isn't right. But she hasn't made time to be decent to you for a month. If it were me I'd cut my losses and block her. Good riddance - she acts mentally unstable/unpredictable. Time for someone who is stable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buccaneer55 Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 So without her saying a word I believe I have my answer. I believe she's actually attempting to fix things with her H. Last night on our social media app that started it all for us I noticed she had taken down a comment she left on one of my pictures that was a love comment. So I decided to go to her page and noticed she had taken down about 75 photos off of her own including any that referenced me or had comments back and forth between us, and on top of that her H and her were now following each other as he had created an account. I was fed lie after lie from this woman so for all those who are always saying in other threads that's it's these MM, MW do the exact same thing in how they treat the AP. Now I feel like a fool who let his guard down with someone from his past. Just feel used and disgusted with myself that I compromised my morals and really believed that she was getting divorced. So many unanswered questions like why did she bring me around some friends, why did she let me meet her sister through FaceTime, why did she allow me and the daughter to connect, why did she do Christmas with me??? Seriously two days ago she freakin missed me??? Wtf is wrong with her!!! Today is hopefully day two of complete NC. After going through what I went through in my divorce and all the lies here, I'm starting to believe there isn't a decent woman out there ( no offense to all the women here ) just really venting Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Just tell her that her actions suggest it's over with the two of you and you believe she's reconciling with her H....but you wish she'd have the decency to be honest with you. Let her know that her actions are not okay and you deserve more respect than being thrown a text here or there. Tell her she can come and see you by X date to explain and if she doesn't..you'll have your answer and will leave her to get on with her life and you'll do the same. Tell her you are not prepared to discuss this via text or on the phone.. she has to make contact..or you're reluctantly walking away for good. You must be prepared to do it. No wishy washiness and no weakness. Simply that you won't be treated this way and you thought much better of her..sadly you were wrong. You have to get out of limbo land or you'll go crazy. Then block her... no need to tell her your doing this.. just do it. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 (edited) Double post Edited January 20, 2016 by sandylee1 Double post Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Don't look for answers. Everything she has told you up to this point is a lie, what makes you thing she will give you honesty now? Go No Contact. If she gets a hold of you (and she will. She'll look for a friend), respond with a simple "We're not friends, we're not enemies, we're strangers with memories". Drop the mic, and walk with head held up high. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buccaneer55 Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 Thanks for the advice. I really believe NC is the best way to go for me. I'm going to disappear for awhile. I'm not going to post anything on the Social Media account for a month or two and then I think I'm going to come in and block her at that point. Another mind game she's playing with me is why the heck didn't she just unfollow me last night when she took everything down?? I don't understand the reasoning behind taking all of that down but not blocking me herself on her page or unfollowing me on mine. Do you really think she'd be crazy enough to try and reach out again?? That just sounds even more insane with what she's already doing. She literally treats me like I'm a piece of garbage. Can't believe a month ago I'm at her place tucking her kid into bed and now this Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Thanks for the advice. I really believe NC is the best way to go for me. I'm going to disappear for awhile. I'm not going to post anything on the Social Media account for a month or two and then I think I'm going to come in and block her at that point. Another mind game she's playing with me is why the heck didn't she just unfollow me last night when she took everything down?? I don't understand the reasoning behind taking all of that down but not blocking me herself on her page or unfollowing me on mine. Do you really think she'd be crazy enough to try and reach out again?? That just sounds even more insane with what she's already doing. She literally treats me like I'm a piece of garbage. Can't believe a month ago I'm at her place tucking her kid into bed and now this Of course she will reach out again - she wants both! Block her. Then you can date someone who is genuinely into you. Her husband was with her for the holidays = they are a family unit. She brushed you aside to play happy family. You stayed away and now her husband is her focus. She's married. Don't date any gal until her divorce is final. Now go out and date a few single gals. You deserve someone nice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 I don't think you should knock yourself too much. IMO she was either playing you for the OM while her husband was out of town, or she suddenly decided to reconnect with him after he was in town. Either way, no other guy would have done differently than you. Having read your story, I think she only decided to get together with him after he was home. He may have presented his case and she decided that he was worth it. This does not negate her love that she had for you at all. She had it and it was real. My guess is that she loved you and really was planning on a divorce. However, when he was home, he made her realize that what they had had was worth something. In a few months, she may have become more in love with him, or she may realize that rebuilding with him was just a dream. I do think you have it right though. Moving on and finding someone who is single would be better for you and your emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 I think it was a case of them reconnecting and not you being the OM..... because what decent family (her mom and sister) would get involved with her having an affair. If her family are covering up.. then you don't want any part of them whatsoever. Even if screwed up. My mom and sister would never be part of me having an affair ....NEVER. I think you'd do right to disappear on your social media as you said and Don't respond to her scraps of messages. Personally I'd have to say more in my parting shot.. but do what works best for you. Poor you.......I'm sorry she did this. Always seems to be the nice people that get treated terribly. So many decent single women and you end up with this. If only loyal could find loyal and cheater find cheater. What a wonderful world that would be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buccaneer55 Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 I really appreciate all the input today. Just a tough day to be honest. Whether or not I was the OM or she really had good intentions, it doesn't change the present situation or how used I feel by all of it. Just really bummed because I thought I saw a lot of potential in a future relationship, and was even willing to step in and be there for the kid as well. I just really started to care for both of them, and now I'm back at square one alone for the time being. Relationships just suck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Go for a run. Go to a gym. Hell, sign up for a dating site. I would discourage you from trolling social media, but if you're going to spend anytime online post pics of you doing activities Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Relationships just suck Yes, they do. Even marriages do at times. Link to post Share on other sites
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