chrissy75 Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 so my husband and I aren't living together right now because he is deployed for work and he still has around 5 months left. we had our third child while he was gone but at least he got to come and visit and be here for the birth. when he was here we i know i could feel and he could feel we weren't connecting well. we have had a ton of issues in the past and now we are going to separate when he comes back and he will move close to us from the next state over so he can drive back and forth to see the kids on days off. my question is that we went from not talking and only for the kids to random here and there conversations for a few minutes when he calls to talk to our boys. I don't ever really bring up what I'm doing or give to much info of what i have been doing. i just pretty much have been trying to do the whole thing of kill him with kindness and be as upbeat as possible even when i struggle with this decision he has made about separation. we mainly just talk about his work or he will tell me how his days have been. does this sound like he is maybe trying to work on things? i kind of feel like its more of he just wants someone to talk to while he is out there for comfort. which then i think thats good for me because he can be turning to the other women he has been hanging out with out there to talk to. it doesn't mean he isn't but does it seem like its just being cordial and wants to talk or there is some hope in the situation. opinions would be nice to hear thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Why are you even considering getting back with him? My advice from your last thread still stands. Divorce him. He is an unremorseful cheater. If you get back with him, he will cheat on you again and again and again. When are you going to tell him that you refuse to be treated like that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chrissy75 Posted December 29, 2015 Author Share Posted December 29, 2015 Why are you even considering getting back with him? My advice from your last thread still stands. Divorce him. He is an unremorseful cheater. If you get back with him, he will cheat on you again and again and again. When are you going to tell him that you refuse to be treated like that? I want to put those boundaries up if we get back together and be able to do that if i am healed and in a better place. Its like i want to get back with him but i defiantly am waiting for that ahh moment to feel like i don't want him at all. I wish i didn't want so badly to be with him even though i want to be. I'm not sure if that even makes sense really. i literally wake up everyday hoping that i feel like i could care less about him in that way because why should i when there has been so much damage. i need a good mind slap i feel like and i just can't get there. i go to church for hope and change and work daily on the things i want to change for the better for me about myself but church does give me hope and i like that it does but at the same time shouldn't i be not trying to have hope? hmm just a lot of confusion with me i guess. -thank you its great to hear in some sense that i shouldn't be with him even if i feel different. I'm hoping one day all the crap will finally make me realize things in an outside perspective and different light to my situation. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 It seems like you're doing a lot of work to try to fix things, but he is doing absolutely nothing. After he's the one who cheated multiple times. Does that make any sense to you? Because to me, it doesn't. It's like sending a robbery victim to jail to rehabilitate their behaviour, but leaving the robber totally free and unpunished. No sense! Link to post Share on other sites
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