PinkInTheLimo Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I know, which makes me feel worse. I'm not even ugly or fat, and I think my personality is cool, at least a lot of guys tell me that. I've had guys tell me I'm so cool why don't I have a boyfriend, and I am one of the rare hard to find good girls, but yet that's not enough for them apparently. I have just concluded that men put sex above love, and since I don't have sex without being in a relationship, they would rather not wait I guess. A lot of men simply have bad taste. My favourite example is this reality TV-show called "Bridzillas". There are men who do marry these women, as strange as it may sound (but OK, would we want to marry these guys? I don't think so ). Link to post Share on other sites
Author AstraeaLunaAvani Posted January 2, 2016 Author Share Posted January 2, 2016 First question (just out of precaution): are you sure this guy is not gay? lol I understand why someone would question that, because twice now I have liked gay guys without knowing they were gay. If he does swing that way, he likes girls too. I mean he talks about girls enough, all the ones he dated, going to a different club on New Years because they had "more girls", etc. For the rest I think that it is possible that this guy is really just seeing you as a good work buddy, feeling comfortable around you but without being attracted to you. Maybe you are a very good listener, an empathic person which makes people/guys see you as some kind of mother/big sister figure. Be careful because some people kind of emotionally use others. They are nice yes but in the end the nature of the contact they have with you is opportunistic. This brings up a point I wanted to make, I AM really empathetic and a good listener which I suppose would make men feel like i'm a motherly aunty type of person to have around, BUT don't men want to be with a woman who is like this? Why choose to only be friends with a woman like me but then date and marry women who aren't like this? That's one thing I never understood. Rather than wondering in silence what is going on I would try to meet him outside of work for a drink and ask him directly how he feels about you. If he does not fancy you it will be tough for a while but this seems better than continuing to focus on him while he does not feel about you the same way. Oh yes I'm going to. I said in a previous post, now that the holidays are over and everyone has more free time, I am going to suggest we go out for drinks some Saturday night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AstraeaLunaAvani Posted January 2, 2016 Author Share Posted January 2, 2016 A lot of men simply have bad taste. My favourite example is this reality TV-show called "Bridzillas". There are men who do marry these women, as strange as it may sound (but OK, would we want to marry these guys? I don't think so ). Bad taste is one possibility, yeah...personally what I think it is, is they get the non-sexual vibe from me. I don't really flirt, in fact it took me like half a year to flirt with the guy who was my boyfriend. By flirting I feel like I'm making it too obvious I like them, and making it falsely clear that I want to get into their pants right away. Is there a way to flirt without making them think you're just trying to have sex? I need to be in a relationship first, for that. Most of the guys I've dated didn't even know that about me, so I think they assumed I wasn't a sexual person. I COULD be, with the right guy and given enough time. But it never gets that far with the ones I really like. Link to post Share on other sites
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