veganpilot Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 It seems like I almost always attract attention from men that are over 40 but I am 19. Why is this? I dress modestly and I am regarded as shy when it comes to relationships. These men are often creepy and cat call me, check me out openly or try to grope me. However, men around my age have never given me a second glance. I'm in university, and no one my age ever came up to talk to me. And my course is a male-dominated course, so I have no idea what's attracting these men. I'm not attracted to much older men at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 The same thing happened to me at that age. (Actually, for me it started when I was about 14...) It isn't just you - it is society's sexualization of youth. It won't matter how you dress. I hate to say it, but you aren't even a human being to these guys; just a piece of meat to be conquered and subjugated. Just ignore them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Tip from older man: I sometimes forget that I'm nearly forty years past 19 until I look in the mirror. You'll likely feel exactly the same way when you get to be my age an older. My mom used to tell me the same thing when she was in her 70's. However, men are the pursuers and penetrators so those personality characteristics don't simply disappear because we get older. Young women are still as attractive to a guy of 80 as when he's 18 and, well, he ain't dead yet Back in the day dear old dad and his Remington would have a conversation with the guy, remind him to look in the mirror and life would go on. Times change. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 That's just gross. I'm an older guy that does end up with mostly girls around your age and I'm creeped out reading that. Catcalls? Pervy leering? Groping?? (sexual assault??) I agree with Carrie and will add ypu may need to let them know it's not alright to be pervs. You may appear "easy" and i don't mean slutty... I mean nice.They probably think they can get away with it. Be firm, tell them no and most of all, practice making the bitchiest face of disgust you possibly can and flash that at them the second they even look at you wrong. Due to the inappropriate nature of the way they are approaching you, they'll be easily intimidated and back off. They need to be nervous you'll tell on them or something. Be very firm. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 It seems like I almost always attract attention from men that are over 40 but I am 19. Why is this? I dress modestly and I am regarded as shy when it comes to relationships. These men are often creepy and cat call me, check me out openly or try to grope me. However, men around my age have never given me a second glance. I'm in university, and no one my age ever came up to talk to me. And my course is a male-dominated course, so I have no idea what's attracting these men. I'm not attracted to much older men at all. Don't feel singled out. They are doing that with every young woman/any woman. Ignore and keep moving. It's their problem, not yours. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GingerVixen Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Every young girl will attract the gaze of older men. It is not only you my dear. Link to post Share on other sites
hhatesboys Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Yep. Creepers gunna creep. It happened to me when I was younger, also. But DO NOT allow anyone to grope you, that is not ok. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingluck Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 The same thing happened to me at that age. (Actually, for me it started when I was about 14...) It isn't just you - it is society's sexualization of youth. It won't matter how you dress. I hate to say it, but you aren't even a human being to these guys; just a piece of meat to be conquered and subjugated. Just ignore them. Same here. And it happened well in my 20s, when I continued to look like a teen. I know it is hard. At the moment the best advice I can give is ignore. Sadly, it doesn't feel like you grow out of it. Now it is just the creepy old guys got older. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 The same has been happening to me since I was 11 years old, it still happens and I'm now 46 years old. Over the years I have found that when I used to be heavier it happened less. I have also found that the more casually dressed I am it happens more eg. jeans and a big old sweatshirt is not a great choice. I also no longer put my hair in a ponytail as that always attracts the wrong kind of attention for me. I always leave my hair down. I still get cat called, pervy looks and have older guys try to grab me but less so if I dress less casually and wear my hair down. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Comically enough, most middle aged guys actually think it's natural that they should be dating women 20 years younger than themselves. While that's probably wishful thinking, the reality is that most young beautiful women aren't attracted to someone who looks like their father or grandfather. Hope springs eternal, I guess. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Yeah, it's all pretty fantastic but the OP asked 'why', as in reasons why she attracts older (note the creepy part) men. OP, here's another one... Fertility. You are prime reproductive age and men of all ages, since we can, save for if we are sterilized, reproduce at any age, well, there ya go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
antonio1149 Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 Comically enough, most middle aged guys actually think it's natural that they should be dating women 20 years younger than themselves. While that's probably wishful thinking, the reality is that most young beautiful women aren't attracted to someone who looks like their father or grandfather. Hope springs eternal, I guess. If it makes the ladies feel any better, I post ads on dating sites and regularly get responses from women ten or more years older than my listed age. I can safely say I've never found one of these women attractive, not even "attractive for their age" (we're not talking about Demi Moore or Sharon Stone here). I exercise diligently and am fit/toned/muscular (and usually indicate this in my ad). More often than not, the women are quite overweight, yet despite this and the age difference they somehow think we would be a good match. Yesterday, I posted an ad for company for New Year's Eve--every woman who responded was older. One was 52 and stated that "the guys that are 45 and above look way too old for me" (she was quite plain herself). So apparently hope springs eternal on both sides. Link to post Share on other sites
BelleSkye Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 My younger sister has the same problem. There is a 10 year difference between us (she being younger) and when I used to take her out clubbing etc the older men (like 40+) would always hit on her. She thankfully has a boy friend her age now but still it happens, much older men still hit on her. Me on the other hand always get the younger ones... Link to post Share on other sites
Author veganpilot Posted January 5, 2016 Author Share Posted January 5, 2016 Comically enough, most middle aged guys actually think it's natural that they should be dating women 20 years younger than themselves. While that's probably wishful thinking, the reality is that most young beautiful women aren't attracted to someone who looks like their father or grandfather. Hope springs eternal, I guess. This applies mostly to older men, but not exclusively so. Some older women do leer at younger men and attempt to seduce them. However, it doesn't sound right at all. If nature was all about reproduction and younger women are fertile which makes them attractive subconsciously and consciously to men of all ages, wouldn't younger women produce healthier children with younger men? Because, I don't think old men and young women or old women with young men would produce healthier children compared to a young couple. It's annoying that some old creepy men think they are entitled to women that are 20 years or so younger than them. To them, the younger, the better, it seems. I'm definitely not interested in much older men because-look. Let's face it. What does a 50 year old man have in common with a 19 year old woman? Their intentions are clear as day, and most definitely judging purely by looks, sadly. But WHY aren't younger men attracted to me? It seems men my age ignore me and I feel as I do not exist within the community of my age spectrum. So far, I feel as if I'm the only single person in university, and all guys within my course are taken, which are off limits. I am interested in a guy that is single, but I think he might reject me. Pilots do sell like hot cakes, but that only applies to the male population. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 It seems like I almost always attract attention from men that are over 40 but I am 19. Why is this? I dress modestly and I am regarded as shy when it comes to relationships. These men are often creepy and cat call me, check me out openly or try to grope me. However, men around my age have never given me a second glance. I'm in university, and no one my age ever came up to talk to me. And my course is a male-dominated course, so I have no idea what's attracting these men. I'm not attracted to much older men at all. Some men will prey on what they consider to be a vulnerable female. So they may see you alone a lot, or perhaps your way of dressing and demeanour is saying to them that you're naive and impressionable and they therefore have a chance. I had the exact same problem in my 20's. I am average looking and dressed pretty awfully (not fashionable) and was constantly being approached by 40 something desperado's with beer belly's and no manners. Men will approach women they think they can get. Obviously when they looked at me they didn't see any self confidence or the idea that I thought I was attractive (judging by my body language and way of dressing). They thought I was likely to accept their advances....? Or at least wasn't going to fight them off the way a more confident woman would. These aren't healthy men, they are predators looking for an easy target. If you are shy and conservative then you will be a target for them. They think they can intimidate you with inappropriate aggression and touching and you won't be able or willing to fight them off. The easiest way to get them off your back is to exude confidence. They won't come near you then. Once I entered my 30's, dropped a heap of weight and started dressing more fashionably no 40-something would come near me. It was replaced with another problem, 20-somethings trying their luck. But it's easier to discourage them, they have eggshell self esteem and a polite no is usually discouragement enough. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 But WHY aren't younger men attracted to me? It seems men my age ignore me and I feel as I do not exist within the community of my age spectrum. So far, I feel as if I'm the only single person in university, Because young guys have their own set of problems, namely that they all crowd around the over-primped, bleached, tanned, hot chick who wears heels hiking and enough makeup to make Ru Paul look natural. Guys your age still think the be all and end all is that one flashy chick that everyone wants. It's not until they've chased that dream for several years and failed before they start noticing the less perfumed and more sedate women among them. Possibly your choice of career, mode of dressing and less sexualised look is making them blind to you right now. You're only 19, give it a chance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Fertility. You are prime reproductive age and men of all ages, since we can, save for if we are sterilized, reproduce at any age, well, there ya go. Perhaps you haven't read all the studies that indicate male fertility drops with older age, sperm motility is compromised, and the quality of older sperm also drops as well? Studies have proven there are more genetic abnormalities associated with babies born to older men than men in their prime. So....there's that. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I may be a blue collar dope but I was reading such studies in private high school as a child, probably before you were born. The OP, again, asked 'why'. Men *feel* that they can reproduce until they're dead and that's *why* they see young women as potential mating partners. It's not complicated. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Once I entered my 30's, dropped a heap of weight and started dressing more fashionably no 40-something would come near me. It was replaced with another problem, 20-somethings trying their luck. But it's easier to discourage them, they have eggshell self esteem and a polite no is usually discouragement enough. All men find young women attractive. However not all old men want to date young women. Those that do have issues. Such as appropriate age women were/or got to smart and not desperate enough to date them. I would venture that the old men that hit on you when you were young did so because your attractiveness was low and appeared not ta have a BF or much male attention so they figured they would have a shot at you. Now that you are in your 30's, you left the age demographic the old men want. Plus you upped your attractiveness big time so they see a woman that would not even give them a shot at dating her. That is why the old men with issues stopped hitting on you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 It's not complicated but it's disgusting. SOME older men will try to continuously exploit young girls because women their own age give them short shrift. OP, watch how older women handle men. Try to copy. You will feel far less intimidated once you realise how easy it is. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Well, I think your attitude towards men is disgusting. Not uncommon around these parts. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 While these types of creeps could approach anyone, I think the fact that it happens over and over to you, while men that are desirable aren't interested you need to take a more objective look at yourself. The look you have, whether it's natural or through the way you dress, the way you present yourself or some other reason is telling the world, that you don't have much to offer a man. This is pushing away eligible men, and drawing men who think you'll be desperate and can fulfill their depraved fantasies. I know that might sound harsh, but something about your look is doing it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 But WHY aren't younger men attracted to me? It seems men my age ignore me and I feel as I do not exist within the community of my age spectrum. So far, I feel as if I'm the only single person in university, and all guys within my course are taken, which are off limits. I am interested in a guy that is single, but I think he might reject me. Pilots do sell like hot cakes, but that only applies to the male population. I'm sure they are attracted to you, but also see you as more of an equal and "normal girl" rather than something to be drooled over. Link to post Share on other sites
lgspot Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 It seems like I almost always attract attention from men that are over 40 but I am 19. Why is this? I dress modestly and I am regarded as shy when it comes to relationships. These men are often creepy and cat call me, check me out openly or try to grope me. However, men around my age have never given me a second glance. I'm in university, and no one my age ever came up to talk to me. And my course is a male-dominated course, so I have no idea what's attracting these men. I'm not attracted to much older men at all. I'm sorry this happens. The truth is creepers gonna creep. Men are going to look no matter the age. The issue is as "old" as time. Now I'll give a bit of tongue in cheek answer. Us old farts need love too..... A large percentage of women my age are going younger. Look at all the "Cougar" dating sites that have popped up. Watch late-night TV and Cougar Site commercials show frequently. No one wants us old guys anymore..... lol Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 OP, do you look older than your age or do you dress conservatively? This could be the reason you only get hit on by older men. Maybe dress younger to attract younger men. Link to post Share on other sites
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