Izzybella242 Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 I'm in a new relationship. We were talking since about august and became exclusive a few months ago. I got a message from this unbelievably beautiful girl telling me that my BF has been sleeping with her for 3 years and that he doesn't use protection. She said I can have him and that he's disgusting. I messaged her back saying she's lying and made fun of the fact that he only slept with her and didn't make her more. She texted him and said AWFUL things to him. She said he's a terrible parent to his son. Many more awful things. He said to her "I dare you to message me again " she then insulted him more. The insults she threw at him were AWFUL. He works with her btw. A week or so went by and a friend of mine who also works with them told me that he was non stop staring at her at work. I was told he was trying to make conversation with her. I was told verbatim everything he said. Basically he was singing a song that's an inside joke between them about her body and she ignored him. She had her ring sitting on the counter and he apparently put it on and told her it looks better on him. Ugh I was even told her was playfully poking her in the back and trying to force her to say goodbye to him. Yesterday she called him (idk why he hasn't blocked her number yet) he didn't answer but she called again and I forced him to and he put her on speaker. She called because apparently whenever they are around eachother at work, coworkers make it awkward. She was saying that she doesn't see why she's associated with him anymore and that he has a gf (me). He said that people weren't laughing at her and he said to her "everything isn't about you, you're pretty and everything but it's not always about you" INAPPROPRIATE. So she said have a good night and hung up. She called back around 1130pm . He answered and she said hey are you busy and he said "yesssss" and she asked why he has an attitude and he said because he's busy. She then said "well I will just text it to you" he said "ok bye" i read the text. She basically told him that she doesn't want him trying to talk to her anymore. She said he has a gf who he tells he loves (me) and that he has no business making comments about her body and that he shouldn't be telling her she's pretty. She stated that they never had a title and the he never told her he loves her. She asked him why would he think she wants to be cool with him after how he treated her over me....she asked him not to text her back and that she really wants to be left alone. I asked him about this and he said she's crazy and that he's not trying to talk to her. He tells me he loves me. He's never had a title with this girl so I don't get why he even felt the need to talk to her in the first place. After all she said why would he feel like he needs to talk to her or get her attention?? Was it not inappropriate for him to call her pretty? I just don't understand why he's never blocked her or why he'd talk to her if he knows she's a direct threat to our relationship?? I mean he slept with her for 3 yrs on and off Maybe he doesn't realize it but he might love her. Not saying he doesn't love me but maybe he has unresolved feelings for her. Like what's connecting him to her where he still feels the need to talk?? Maybe because she's so pretty?? Either way it's annoying Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 It sounds like she's doing an awful lot of calling and messaging (to you and him) for someone who just wants to be left alone. I think she's jealous and wants to interfere, but at the same time make it seem like he's the one initiating it. Since they work together you aren't going to be able to monitor every detail and you'll drive yourself nuts if you keep thinking that way. I think you should just say, hey boyfriend, this girl seems to be trouble––what do you intend to do about it? Then let him manage it. It sounds like you have eyes and ears at the workplace, so you'll know if he doesn't let it go. The only effective way for you to deal with it is to get above it. If after awhile he is unable or unwilling to put appropriate distance between them, then you know what option to exercise. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Your boyfriend needs to block her number. If they work together, he needs to keep it professional, but it doesn't sound like he's doing that. Essentially, this girl can only cause problems as long as your boyfriend enables it. I had an ex try to interfere in a new relationship once, and I immediately told him not to contact me or my then-boyfriend again, and I blocked him. End of story. Have a very honest discussion with your boyfriend about boundaries. State very clearly that you find this unacceptable and disrespectful to you and your relationship. If it doesn't stop, get rid of him. Link to post Share on other sites
Starsandshadows Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 I agree she seems to be getting in contact an awful lot for someone who doesn't want to keep contact. And she seems to be saying these things after work when she knows you'll be with him. She had all day. She's gonna be a problem. I don't think your boyfriend is helping the situation though, from what your friend has told you he's trying too hard with her at work yet claiming to you that's not the case. I would mention it bothers you and see what his response is Link to post Share on other sites
Author Izzybella242 Posted December 31, 2015 Author Share Posted December 31, 2015 It sounds like she's doing an awful lot of calling and messaging (to you and him) for someone who just wants to be left alone. I think she's jealous and wants to interfere, but at the same time make it seem like he's the one initiating it. Since they work together you aren't going to be able to monitor every detail and you'll drive yourself nuts if you keep thinking that way. I think you should just say, hey boyfriend, this girl seems to be trouble––what do you intend to do about it? Then let him manage it. It sounds like you have eyes and ears at the workplace, so you'll know if he doesn't let it go. The only effective way for you to deal with it is to get above it. If after awhile he is unable or unwilling to put appropriate distance between them, then you know what option to exercise. She only messaged me once. When she found out we were dating which means she probably was upset because he had been sleeping with her. Afterwards it just seems now like she is upset because their work environment is awkward. I seen a message from her that said to him to please stop trying to talk to her. I asked him he said no but I know he's lying!! The night he got off of work he pulled up beside her at a red light and blew the horn at her!! My insider got a ride home from him. I'm night defending her but it does seems like she really wants to be left alone. She only called and message that one day. When I tried messaging her she blocked me. And why on earth would he tell her she's pretty! ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Izzybella242 Posted December 31, 2015 Author Share Posted December 31, 2015 I agree she seems to be getting in contact an awful lot for someone who doesn't want to keep contact. And she seems to be saying these things after work when she knows you'll be with him. She had all day. She's gonna be a problem. I don't think your boyfriend is helping the situation though, from what your friend has told you he's trying too hard with her at work yet claiming to you that's not the case. I would mention it bothers you and see what his response is I just feel like it's disrespectful for him to want any convo with her at all!! They had the worst falling out. The things she said you NEVER say to anyone and the fact that he talks to her it's like wow do u care about her ?? After all she said Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 From what I see he is taking such pleasure out of making her life miserable. What a douchebag. TBH I would question his integrity as a BF. I would just call him out on it, and as he starts to lie, lay it on him that you have moles telling you otherwise.....then proceed to dump him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Izzybella242 Posted December 31, 2015 Author Share Posted December 31, 2015 From what I see he is taking such pleasure out of making her life miserable. What a douchebag. TBH I would question his integrity as a BF. I would just call him out on it, and as he starts to lie, lay it on him that you have moles telling you otherwise.....then proceed to dump him. What do you mean making her life miserable? Link to post Share on other sites
playlislay Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 I'm sorry but a woman doesn't go crazy for nothing! Of course she's jealous if he's been giving her loads of attention! There's definitely more to this than meets the eye. From what your spy has said, it sounds like he's going out of his way to flirt with her and then deny all knowledge when he comes home to you, especially when his bit on the side is calling out of jealousy! Get rid of this player! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Izzybella242 Posted December 31, 2015 Author Share Posted December 31, 2015 I'm sorry but a woman doesn't go crazy for nothing! Of course she's jealous if he's been giving her loads of attention! There's definitely more to this than meets the eye. From what your spy has said, it sounds like he's going out of his way to flirt with her and then deny all knowledge when he comes home to you, especially when his bit on the side is calling out of jealousy! Get rid of this player! I feel like he wants her attention but I don't understand why Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 What do you mean making her life miserable? You are looking at this through jealous GF eyes so let me clear this up for you. From what your mole has been reporting, he is harassing her. Flirting, and sexual harassment are two different things. What he is doing is unwanted behavior, and by her response she doesn't like it. The message she sent is her call out to you to let you know about this harassment.....she is warning you about him, and is hoping that you can in some way put a stop to it. For real he is being disgusting, and making her life miserable. Your mole's information is very confirming about this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) From what I see he is taking such pleasure out of making her life miserable. What a douchebag. TBH I would question his integrity as a BF. I would just call him out on it, and as he starts to lie, lay it on him that you have moles telling you otherwise.....then proceed to dump him. This x 1000% To be honest, women who behave this way are probably at the end of their tether with the guy who treated them like crap. He had a FWB (which may be a red flag in the first place) and strung her along and now is still stringing her along while with you. I also dont like the accusations from the OP that she is just jealous, maybe but it sounds like he has led her on and treated her poorly. I dont like to see women blaming other women for the bad behavior of men. I think smackie9 has the right idea. Edited January 1, 2016 by Amelie1980 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Izzybella242 Posted January 2, 2016 Author Share Posted January 2, 2016 You are looking at this through jealous GF eyes so let me clear this up for you. From what your mole has been reporting, he is harassing her. Flirting, and sexual harassment are two different things. What he is doing is unwanted behavior, and by her response she doesn't like it. The message she sent is her call out to you to let you know about this harassment.....she is warning you about him, and is hoping that you can in some way put a stop to it. For real he is being disgusting, and making her life miserable. Your mole's information is very confirming about this. I have a little.more information on their history. Basically he slept with her since 2012. She is crazy in love with him but apparently he never made her his gf. She wanted more. This probably drove her crazy.... but if he treated her so poorly obviously he doesn't care about her so why would he want her attention? Just seems like he HAS to have her attention which makes no sense of he hates her Link to post Share on other sites
Author Izzybella242 Posted January 2, 2016 Author Share Posted January 2, 2016 This x 1000% To be honest, women who behave this way are probably at the end of their tether with the guy who treated them like crap. He had a FWB (which may be a red flag in the first place) and strung her along and now is still stringing her along while with you. I also dont like the accusations from the OP that she is just jealous, maybe but it sounds like he has led her on and treated her poorly. I dont like to see women blaming other women for the bad behavior of men. I think smackie9 has the right idea. She is indeed jealous. She wanted him as a BF and he didn't make them official. Why wouldn't she be? Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I have a little.more information on their history. Basically he slept with her since 2012. She is crazy in love with him but apparently he never made her his gf. She wanted more. This probably drove her crazy.... but if he treated her so poorly obviously he doesn't care about her so why would he want her attention? Just seems like he HAS to have her attention which makes no sense of he hates her oh good lord. he wants her attention as he csn have it and he needs the ego boost. he has strung her along for 3 years and you are taking his side? You picked a real winner and you will be next. He will lie to and cheat on you and call you crazy to the next girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 She is indeed jealous. She wanted him as a BF and he didn't make them official. Why wouldn't she be? She shouldn't be jealous. She should be grateful to be free of a total dumbass who is now your problem and not hers. He cant screw her over anymore but he can screw YOU over and he already is. Dont be so pleased you've got him.....he is no catch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Izzybella242 Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 She shouldn't be jealous. She should be grateful to be free of a total dumbass who is now your problem and not hers. He cant screw her over anymore but he can screw YOU over and he already is. Dont be so pleased you've got him.....he is no catch. He's not screwing me over. He chose me over her and she's trying to make it seem like he's bothering her. My mole told me yesterday she was complaining to an friend saying he follows her on snapchat and she doesn't follow him back and claiming be views her pictures. She blows little things up. So what if he views her pictures. I just feel mine she always makes something out of nothing Link to post Share on other sites
Author Izzybella242 Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 You are looking at this through jealous GF eyes so let me clear this up for you. From what your mole has been reporting, he is harassing her. Flirting, and sexual harassment are two different things. What he is doing is unwanted behavior, and by her response she doesn't like it. The message she sent is her call out to you to let you know about this harassment.....she is warning you about him, and is hoping that you can in some way put a stop to it. For real he is being disgusting, and making her life miserable. Your mole's information is very confirming about this. I feel like he's getting all the blame. She said out of the line things to in a jealous rage and owner is playing victim like he's bothering her. I don't see why he even finds it necessary to talk to her. She's a drama queen. Couldn't have what she wanted and is throwing tantrum Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 I feel like he's getting all the blame. She said out of the line things to in a jealous rage and owner is playing victim like he's bothering her. I don't see why he even finds it necessary to talk to her. She's a drama queen. Couldn't have what she wanted and is throwing tantrum This is the most important key to this problem. He's allowing it to continue. It wouldn't be an issue if he put a full stop to it. The fact that he hasn't done so is what would trouble me - a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
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