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Confused about co-worker


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Hello....... I have a co-worker who is sending me very mixed signals and I can't figure out if he is interested in friendship or something more. We get along extremely well and laugh alot, and he always as a big smile on his face when he sees me. He teases me all the time and always remembers little things that I say. I personally feel that there is an attraction on both of our parts. He talks to me ALOT about everything (we have alot in common) and even talks about personal things with me. The mixed signals come from the fact that he is always telling me about beautiful women that he sees (on the street or in club or whatever) and talks about old girlfriends. He likes to brag alot about himself. Sometimes he asks me questions that seem to be his way of finding out things about me, or to see my reaction. He never compliments me on my looks but he does notice when my hair is different. Is it all in my imagination or do you think he is interested?

 

Thanks for the advice!!

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confused21

I dont think you will know for sure if he's interested unless he asks you out. My best guy friend started out as my co-worker as well. Your comments about him sounds exactly how we were when we 1st started getting to know one another. This was about 3 1/2 years ago and back then for months we would spend every night alone afterwork and he never made any move on me so I quickly figured out that he wasnt interested in dating me (We did become FWB for awhile but thats another story!)

 

I would just see where things lead, if things go that way then great.. otherwise see him but also see other people.

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My guess is that he likes you. Talking about other girls could mean that he is trying to get you a little hot and bothered (I bet it's working to some degree) or he is really just interested in other girls. My guess is that he is just trying to get you jealous because he likes you. It depends how he presents it. Like if it's apart of the story...like it just kind of came up in the situation and he mentioned some girl in the club...then maybe he's not trying to get a reaction. But if he goes out of his way to bring up some other girl in the conversation I'd say he's trying to get you jealous (then he likes you.) Teasing and smiling coming from guys are also some good positive signals.

 

As for not complimenting about your looks, a lot of guys don't do that. I do the exact same thing with girls...if they change their hair or something I'll make a comment about it but otherwise I'm not like "omg you're so hot today!" kinda thing. Just because he doesn't compliment your looks doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you.

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Thanks Confused and Blue! I will ask him what he did last night and he will tell me that he went out partying and will say "and I saw this incredibly beautiful woman. Oh my god, she was drop dead gorgeous." Ya know, he will talk to me like "one of the guys". It does make me jealous when he says those things so I guess if that's what he is trying to do it is working!!! But if you are trying to get someone, why would you say things like that?!? It almost makes a girl feel inadequate to this "drop dead gorgeous other woman" he is ogling. I forgot to mention that I do have a boyfriend, but I think he knows that i am not happy with my boyfriend (just from us talking). So is he talking to me like one of the guys because he knows I am taken? I figure that most guys don't talk alot like that to girls unless they are interested in some way.

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I would tell him that you and your BF broke up and see if his interest changes. He might be testing you to see if yuo get jealous by talking about other women ( I do that with a women I am interested in to get her reaction ). If she reaponds with jealousy then I am pretty sure she likes me. It is a sure fire way of determining interest in someone. The fact that you work together could also be holding him back. Sometimes you just don't want to get involved with a co-worker because it can cause problems when you split up.

The interest you talk about from him could be just friendly so you need to put out some feelers to see what is interest really is. Suggest you meet someplace after work for dinner or a movie and if he puts you off or you get excuses then he's just a friend.

 

Peace...

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Marshbear -- how do guys know when you are jealous? For instance if he starts talking to me about the trouble he is having getting over his ex or about another good looking woman he saw, what reaction from me would indicate jealousy? Just curious..........

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