lftbehind Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 I'm wondering if a lot of people in A are prone to other addictions, too (alcoholism, shopaholics, eating disorders, etc.) I am a shopaholic sometimes and have had an eating disorder off and on for a while. I mostly have in when I'm under extreme stress. The disorders are destructive and self-destructive, just like A are. Some people have poorer coping mechanisms than others. I definitely have work to do on myself. Hope that everyone has a happy and peaceful year next year! Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Nope; none. The ex-A still lingers in my mind every waking second; that's the only emotional addiction at this point. I do wish I could pick up a new addiction to reduce the effect of the A-addiction. But no hope for me. I can't smoke--bad for the environment and smells awful. Can't do drugs--don't know where to get them from. Can't be alcoholic--they taste awful. Can't be a shopoholic--hate shopping, being a minimalist. I have no hope. Link to post Share on other sites
pacific_vibrations Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 my MM is an addict of all kinds. i have an addictive personality for sure and at times have been reliant on substances and always have struggled with normal eating. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 (edited) Actually neither of us do. Edited January 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author lftbehind Posted January 1, 2016 Author Share Posted January 1, 2016 Nope; none. The ex-A still lingers in my mind every waking second; that's the only emotional addiction at this point. I do wish I could pick up a new addiction to reduce the effect of the A-addiction. But no hope for me. I can't smoke--bad for the environment and smells awful. Can't do drugs--don't know where to get them from. Can't be alcoholic--they taste awful. Can't be a shopoholic--hate shopping, being a minimalist. I have no hope. That's good that you don't have any other addictions. Time and NC helps you get over the AP. I have the emotional addiction, too. Don't feel like there's no hope for you, there is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lftbehind Posted January 1, 2016 Author Share Posted January 1, 2016 my MM is an addict of all kinds. i have an addictive personality for sure and at times have been reliant on substances and always have struggled with normal eating. Sorry that you have eating problems, too. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 Interesting question! I've known 2 women in my life who were serial OW & cheaters. BOTH had severe eating disorders now I think about it...at the time I put it down to wanting to be really skinny because they had a lot of sex with relative strangers but now I'm older, yep! SERIOUS eating disorders. They also both drank & used recreational drugs EVERYDAY.... The man I've known who was similar just seemed addicted to getting as many women in-love with him as he could! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lftbehind Posted January 1, 2016 Author Share Posted January 1, 2016 Interesting question! I've known 2 women in my life who were serial OW & cheaters. BOTH had severe eating disorders now I think about it...at the time I put it down to wanting to be really skinny because they had a lot of sex with relative strangers but now I'm older, yep! SERIOUS eating disorders. They also both drank & used recreational drugs EVERYDAY.... The man I've known who was similar just seemed addicted to getting as many women in-love with him as he could! I think that eating disorders are wanting control over your life, when you feel like you don't have much control over your surroundings. The drugs and drinking are an escape as well as the affair is. The affair is a way to get affection and attention, too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Babs22 Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 Nope; none. The ex-A still lingers in my mind every waking second; that's the only emotional addiction at this point. I do wish I could pick up a new addiction to reduce the effect of the A-addiction. But no hope for me. I can't smoke--bad for the environment and smells awful. Can't do drugs--don't know where to get them from. Can't be alcoholic--they taste awful. Can't be a shopoholic--hate shopping, being a minimalist. I have no hope. Burnt, I am like you and do not have any other addictions either. I feel the same as you do about smoking, drugs, alcohol and shopping. I've never been drunk or even high in my entire life. I wouldn't even consider gambling. I hate casinos, they ruin lives. I am still in my A, but know that it cannot go anywhere. I don't know if I feel like it is an addiction. I love him. If we weren't both married and were in the relationship we are in now, then it wouldn't be considered an addiction. We would simply be two people in love. The difference is, because we are both married, I am thinking of walking away from someone I love very much. People don't normally end and walk away from great relationships, so of course this is going to be hard to get over. The only other force ending to loving relationships people experience is the death of a loved one. You did not want that relationship to end, you loved them dearly and it hurt like hell when they were gone. You grieve the loss of the person and that relationship and it can take years to get over. So, I truly don't believe and don't feel like my A is an addiction. Link to post Share on other sites
Outofmysystem Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) Burnt, I am like you and do not have any other addictions either. I feel the same as you do about smoking, drugs, alcohol and shopping. I've never been drunk or even high in my entire life. I wouldn't even consider gambling. I hate casinos, they ruin lives. I am still in my A, but know that it cannot go anywhere. I don't know if I feel like it is an addiction. I love him. If we weren't both married and were in the relationship we are in now, then it wouldn't be considered an addiction. We would simply be two people in love. The difference is, because we are both married, I am thinking of walking away from someone I love very much. People don't normally end and walk away from great relationships, so of course this is going to be hard to get over. The only other force ending to loving relationships people experience is the death of a loved one. You did not want that relationship to end, you loved them dearly and it hurt like hell when they were gone. You grieve the loss of the person and that relationship and it can take years to get over. So, I truly don't believe and don't feel like my A is an addiction. Burnt, count yourself in mixed company.....although I drink social, on occasion, not addicted at all.....no drugs, shopping, eating.....maybe working out?, but that's healthy......but when it comes to her (MOW) and being married myself......the thoughts and memories play in my head like some kind of cruel mataniee show with me the only one in the theater and locked doors.....over and over like my own personal time warp wishing that I could turn back time and have those moments again......no D-Day but she turned nasty and cold in the end 4 months ago......hard to take 6 years of devotion and supposed love and turn it off like that, but apparently she did......and you feel like **** everyday.... So I feel you brother......I feel you, believe me...... And Babs22....its EXACTLY like a death.....exactly Edited January 2, 2016 by Outofmysystem 2 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I don't have any addictions, too poor to buy drugs, alcohol or smoke. I don't have an eating disorder either. I see my relationship with my MM as an unfortunate situation, one of those things that everything was already in place before we met. I am not willing to create more upheaval in my kids lives as we already went through so much when I separated from my stbxh. MM's child is special needs, not fair to destabilize what has been worked through with him over the years either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lftbehind Posted January 2, 2016 Author Share Posted January 2, 2016 I probably over-shared mentioning my eating disorder. Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 I'm wondering if a lot of people in A are prone to other addictions, too (alcoholism, shopaholics, eating disorders, etc.) I am a shopaholic sometimes and have had an eating disorder off and on for a while. I mostly have in when I'm under extreme stress. The disorders are destructive and self-destructive, just like A are. Some people have poorer coping mechanisms than others. I definitely have work to do on myself. Hope that everyone has a happy and peaceful year next year! H's xBW was a fWS, and this would certainly apply to her. She is a compulsive shopper, has alcohol issues and an unhealthy relationship with food. Neither H nor I have any addictive issues, though. Link to post Share on other sites
MadJackBird Posted January 19, 2016 Share Posted January 19, 2016 My former wife was a serial cheater. (I call this an addiction) She also was addicted to narcotic pain pills. I would say she would replace one addiction with another. The science behind addictions is the same. Your body releases serotonin and dopamine when pursing a new relationship or even having sex. These are the same enzymes released when taking pain pills or other addictive substances. I would say it happens, but as it looks from other responses it is not always the case. Link to post Share on other sites
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