Would you accept this?

[BettyDraper]

I ordered a handbag from Ebay. Unfortunately, the seller decided to add a fraudulent charge at the last minute, so I refused the package and I will be getting a refund next week. For designer items, I like to shop on Ebay because there's no reason to pay full price when I don't have to. My husband will purchase items at full price for me on special occasions but I like to save whenever I can. Most of my clothing is also purchased on sale as well.

 

So Valentine's Day is coming up soon after my husband's birthday in late January. He will be away on business for his birthday, so I have already made dinner reservations at one of the most romantic restaurants in town. My husband told me that he would rather buy me a new handbag than go out for dinner because he doesn't care about his birthday. I think it would be selfish to accept an expensive gift for Valentine's Day, rather than go out as a couple to celebrate both Valentine's Day and my husband's birthday. As much as I would love the handbag, I can always buy one later and not pay full price like my husband wants to. I do enjoy luxury items but I believe that experiences are more important than objects. People do not think about what items they acquired on their deathbeds.

They think of loved ones and special times with them.

 

Would you accept an expensive gift when you knew it was close to your spouse's birthday? Why or why not?

Edited December 31, 2015 by BettyDraper

[xxoo]

I would, because it is what he stated he prefers. It sounds like maybe he doesn't want to celebrate at a romantic restaurant.

 

I bet he wouldn't turn down an amazing meal and special "after dinner treat" at home

[BettyDraper]

I would, because it is what he stated he prefers. It sounds like maybe he doesn't want to celebrate at a romantic restaurant.

 

I bet he wouldn't turn down an amazing meal and special "after dinner treat" at home

 

I like the way you think. We did the dinner and "dessert" for our 5th wedding anniversary despite originally planning to go out. I want to do something different this time.

 

My husband has always said that restaurants are too crowded on Valentine's Day. I tried to reserve a spot the day before Valentine's Day as well as the day after but they were booked.

 

I can still buy him a birthday gift. I just wanted to enjoy a special date night with my hubby. Neither of us want to be selfish as we both greatly appreciate what each does for the other. When I tell my husband not to spend full price on certain things, he says that I deserve them because I stuck by him through difficult times and I run our home well. He's also pleased that I have learned to embrace healthier habits.

[xxoo]

I like the way you think. We did the dinner and "dessert" for our 5th wedding anniversary despite originally planning to go out. I want to do something different this time.

 

My husband has always said that restaurants are too crowded on Valentine's Day. I tried to reserve a spot the day before Valentine's Day as well as the day after but they were booked.

 

I've been married over 20 years, and he has yet to get tired of that gift!

 

I completely understand his point of view on going to a restaurant for V day. Awful. Buy him a nice gift, and treat him personally on his b-day. It's free!

[Popsicle]

Your husband sounds like quite the sweetie. He's a keeper. Is there any way possible that you could book the V-day date night some other night? I would tell him that his kindness has made you even more eager to have a romantic date night with him.

[CarrieT]

:

My husband has always said that restaurants are too crowded on Valentine's Day. I tried to reserve a spot the day before Valentine's Day as well as the day after but they were booked.

Having worked the restaurant industry, I can attest that days like Valentine's and Mother's Days are the WORST times to go eat out - as are the days before and after.

 

Prices are jacked up and the quality greatly decreases in finer restaurants due to the volume they are producing. They also don't need to step up to their A-Game as so many who are dining out - who may not usually do so - don't necessarily know about the finer standards that are expected.

 

You are better off and it sounds like he's not the kind of guy who likes fancy meals anyway.

[BettyDraper]

Having worked the restaurant industry, I can attest that days like Valentine's and Mother's Days are the WORST times to go eat out - as are the days before and after.

 

Prices are jacked up and the quality greatly decreases in finer restaurants due to the volume they are producing. They also don't need to step up to their A-Game as so many who are dining out - who may not usually do so - don't necessarily know about the finer standards that are expected.

 

You are better off and it sounds like he's not the kind of guy who likes fancy meals anyway.

 

My husband enjoys gourmet food once in a blue moon....just not in loud and crowded places. To be honest, I don't like loud places either. We have gone out the days before and after major holidays and noticed a major difference in the crowds but no difference in quality.

 

We had dinner in an upscale restaurant a few days before Christmas in wine country. It was wonderful...our table was next to a fireplace and a gorgeous Christmas tree. The service was very personalized due to hardly anyone else being there.

[BettyDraper]

I've been married over 20 years, and he has yet to get tired of that gift!

 

I completely understand his point of view on going to a restaurant for V day. Awful. Buy him a nice gift, and treat him personally on his b-day. It's free!

 

I agree that it would be much cheaper than going out but certainly not free...with the cost of food, the gift and a nice bottle of wine.

 

My husband always makes a big fuss on my birthday even though I never ask him to. We usually go away for a night or he gives me a very nice present.

 

I just want to be reciprocal and not a taker.

 

Whenever there is a special day, the gift I most look forward to is the card. My husband always picks cards that make me want to cry because the words are so beautiful. I keep all of the cards and I read them if I'm having a bad day.

[BettyDraper]

Your husband sounds like quite the sweetie. He's a keeper. Is there any way possible that you could book the V-day date night some other night? I would tell him that his kindness has made you even more eager to have a romantic date night with him.

 

Yes, he is a keeper. I hope we stay together until my last breath.

Sure we can reschedule...we usually have a date night every month so maybe we can go out in March.

[ShatteredLady]

Lovely post! Just what I needed....sometimes this forum can be a bit sad to say the least.

 

 

We've had years where cash is REALLY tight. Some of my favorite memories aren't staged outside of our home.

 

I try to create little traditions for things or reproducing something (same meal, wine, cake etc.) very special from out past...even if it's something silly & funny.

 

Or....do something very different! Picnic in bed (blanket, basket, wine etc) or garden or...anywhere you don't usually eat! Christmas twinkle lights can make a big closet so cute & romantic!!

 

I know I'm a little kooky so I won't share more but you get the idea!

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

[BettyDraper]

Lovely post! Just what I needed....sometimes this forum can be a bit sad to say the least.

 

 

We've had years where cash is REALLY tight. Some of my favorite memories aren't staged outside of our home.

 

I try to create little traditions for things or reproducing something (same meal, wine, cake etc.) very special from out past...even if it's something silly & funny.

 

Or....do something very different! Picnic in bed (blanket, basket, wine etc) or garden or...anywhere you don't usually eat! Christmas twinkle lights can make a big closet so cute & romantic!!

 

I know I'm a little kooky so I won't share more but you get the idea!

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

Hahahaha! Glad you liked it. Our very lean years brought us closer together. We're certainly not rich now but we're doing far better.

 

I just asked my husband if he preferred to stay home and he said yes. I asked him what he wanted instead but I can't post his answer.

 

Cheeky bastard!

Edited January 1, 2016 by BettyDraper

[Gemma1]

I agree that it would be much cheaper than going out but certainly not free...with the cost of food, the gift and a nice bottle of wine.

 

My husband always makes a big fuss on my birthday even though I never ask him to. We usually go away for a night or he gives me a very nice present.

 

I just want to be reciprocal and not a taker.

 

He's doing those things for you because he knows you like them. In return, it sounds like you are also trying to get him to do something YOU want to do for his birthday. Do what HE wants. It's his birthday.

[BettyDraper]

He's doing those things for you because he knows you like them. In return, it sounds like you are also trying to get him to do something YOU want to do for his birthday. Do what HE wants. It's his birthday.

 

We have already changed our plans.

 

My husband enjoys gourmet meals so going out for his birthday was about him as well. It's just the date that bothered him.

[MJJean]

I hear you can hire a chef to come cook a gourmet meal in your home. Gourmet food, no crowds. Maybe think of trying that on you and your DH's next special day.

 

An internet friend of mine once told me that Steak and a BJ Day is February 7 and that if Steak and a BJ Day was not observed at her house, Valentine's Day would also not be observed that year.

[sandylee1]

My H and I stopped going out on valentine's day because of the crowded restaurants and poor service. Instead we get takeout or he'll cook a romantic meal for us.

 

Instead of a meal.. why not go out to a show or something... maybe theatre or a concert. Or would he enjoy a couples spa day / massage.

 

Whatever you do doesn't have to be on the 14th of Feb.

[BettyDraper]

I hear you can hire a chef to come cook a gourmet meal in your home. Gourmet food, no crowds. Maybe think of trying that on you and your DH's next special day.

 

An internet friend of mine once told me that Steak and a BJ Day is February 7 and that if Steak and a BJ Day was not observed at her house, Valentine's Day would also not be observed that year.

 

Your friend is hilarious. We don't have a designated day for BJs.....if I had to guess, I would say that my husband gets at least one BJ a week. It's a spur of the moment thing while we're in bed.

 

I love that gourmet chef idea. My husband does love my cooking though and I can always prepare something special like Cornish Hens or my famous lasagna. I know Cornish Hens are not really a gourmet food but they are not cheap so we don't eat them very often.

[BettyDraper]

My H and I stopped going out on valentine's day because of the crowded restaurants and poor service. Instead we get takeout or he'll cook a romantic meal for us.

 

Instead of a meal.. why not go out to a show or something... maybe theatre or a concert. Or would he enjoy a couples spa day / massage.

 

Whatever you do doesn't have to be on the 14th of Feb.

 

I agree that our plans do not have to be on February 14th. That's why we usually go out the day before or the day after Valentine's Day.

 

I love the theatre but my husband doesn't. I think we'll probably just stay in this year.

[BettyDraper]

You are all going to laugh...my husband saw the restaurant that I booked and he was so excited that he asked if we could go out after all! Apparently he wanted to try that place for a long time.