My friend...

[Friend]

On Saturday I was driving my friend home from the birthday party of our mutual friend. He was drunk. He started talking to me about how his life sucked and how he was miserable and he wanted to kill himself. Now, I have never heard anything this sort coming out of his mouth. He has a decent job, I am his very good friend, he has few hobbies, like baseball and working out in the gym.Why would he say somehting like this. I know he was drunk, but the way he said it did not sound it was coming from a person who was not realizing what he was saying. I don't know, he got me thinking, I tried to talk to him the day after, and he said to disregard whateve he said. So I just let it go. My other friend told me that he has never heard anything like that from him before either. I know there is not much I can do, but I am concerned about him. I only have 2 friends, and the one of them is him, and I really don't want to act like nothing was said in the car that night, on the other hand i dont want to continue this conversation with him, since he said to let it go. Why the hell would he bring it up after all. somehting is obviously bothering him. I am looking at his life, and it is not any worse than mine. I have an OK life, not great but who does?

 

Ok, he does not have a girl-friend, neither do I. SO what?

 

I work, he works, what else could be bothering him??? Life is not that bad after all, to say this kind of things. Drunk or sober, he has thought of suicide I am sure, based on what he said on Saturday, so I was just thinking of it. Any comments?

[Tony T]

Almost everybody has sudden and brief thoughts of suicide now and then, especially when they are depressed or in a very reflective mood. The greatest number of times these thoughts are short lived and fairly meaningless.

 

Talk of suicide is usually a cry for help, an attention getting device. But consider that he was drunk and judge his remarks in the context of his actions and words when he is sober.

 

People who are serious about suicide rarely talk about it. They don't want interference. They just want to get their lives out of the way. Some take time to write a note and some don't. But those who actually go through with it successfully seldom give notice.

 

Those who talk a lot about it and slash their wrists or take an overdose of some medication and then call a friend have serious problems but want help. They really don't want their life to end. Now, drinking a cupfull of bleach is another story.

 

The seriousness of suicide is judged on the degree of lethality involved. Talk is about the least degree whereas standing on the top of a tall building with one foot over the side is probably right up there with the greatest of lethality.

 

I wouldn't wouldn't worry too much about your friend unless he brings it up again and then you should talk to him about this or get him some help he may need. You never know what's completely going on in somebody's life or in their head unless you are in their shoes.

 

If you've every heard the theme song from the TV show MASH, the words to the first stanza of the theme are:

 

The game of life is hard to play,

 

gonna lose it anyway,

 

the losing card I'll some day lay,

 

so this is all I've got to say,

 

Suicide is painless...it brings on many changes,

 

And I can take or leave it as I please.

 

Kind of depressing, yes, and unfortunately the greatest numbers of suicides are teens and elderly in pain. But there's no real reason this has to happen if people seek help from the right source.