Friend tried to have sex with my boyfriend today

[clia]

I am fuming.

 

My so called *friend* of 4 years tried to have sex with my boyfriend today.

 

What a stupid skank.

 

I went for a walk. I took her daughters out and treated them to food. While I was gone, she went into the room my boyfriend was sleeping in and started to interrogate him.

 

She started asking him inappropriate questions such as "what do you see in Leigh" and "are you only with her because she's hot".

My boyfriend, feeling extremely uncomfortable, just continued to say"I am with her because I love her" and " yes she is hot but we click and I love her".

 

Apparently she kept asking him repeatedly "why are you with Leigh?"

 

 

You've mentioned that your boyfriend is a broke, unemployed, former drug addict. You've also mentioned that you were paying his bills. Perhaps she was asking these questions to try to find out if he is with you for the right reasons and not just using you.

[Redfisher]

After listening to you talk for months about how awesome this new guy is/was It saddens me this is happening...

[TaraMaiden2]

The Lady doth protest too much, methinks."....

 

Put someone on too high a pedestal and the fall is catastrophic....

[nicco]

I believe my boyfriend.

 

I just remembered that he was totally dizzy and violently ill. Literally just before I left the house.

 

Nup. There's no way he would have been horny. He was seriously sick. I felt so bad for him. He doesn't get drunk according to him and he hasn't in 4 months that I've known him. He got very drunk and he was seriously sick.

 

He told me that ot took every bit of his energy to muster up the strength to even get up out of the bed. And away from here.

 

Yeep. Skank she is.

 

Were they both drunk in the house together, when you were gone?

 

As a guy, I can tell you there's a difference between being horny and hard. You don't have to be either to kiss, or get touchy feely.

 

So I think you should ask her what happened and compare both stories to get better facts.

[CarrieT]

So he was too violently ill BEFORE, but was able to have "earth-shattering sex" with you AFTER?

 

Yeah - something doesn't add up...

[Rejected Rosebud]

Leigh, just so you know - I don't think all these people on this thread would be questioning your bf if YOU hadn't brought up your concern that he might be a sociopath. You evidently talked with a male friend about your concerns too. So - the worry is coming from YOU, since you have this worry you need to get it all out on the table.

 

You have said your bf is mentally ill. In what way?

[Space Ritual]

I am fuming.

 

My so called *friend* of 4 years tried to have sex with my boyfriend today.

 

What a stupid skank.

 

I went for a walk. I took her daughters out and treated them to food. While I was gone, she went into the room my boyfriend was sleeping in and started to interrogate him.

 

She started asking him inappropriate questions such as "what do you see in Leigh" and "are you only with her because she's hot".

My boyfriend, feeling extremely uncomfortable, just continued to say"I am with her because I love her" and " yes she is hot but we click and I love her".

 

Apparently she kept asking him repeatedly "why are you with Leigh?"

 

After asking a series of inappropriate questions to my boyfriend, she jumped into his bed. She was extremely intoxicated so at first my boyfriend thought that she aas just crashing. He was about to get up when she started rubbing her bottom against him.

 

My boyfriend stood up immediately and my *friend* said are you running "

 

My bf got up immediately out of bed and told her " you're not a good friend to Leigh"

 

The skank then said " huh..... I wasn't trying to seduce you or anything "

 

 

My boyfriend leaves the room. She follows him and says " so do I have to look like Leigh if I want to get a guy as hot as you?

 

 

She seems to think that her and my partner "connected" and "clicked".

 

This is a girl who called me when she was in hospital after a miscarriage, called me for support. To which I immediately went to the hospital. She's had Christmas with my family. I baby sit her daughters. Her daughters love me.

 

I am really bummed. I don't plan on talking to her again. I am not going to confront her. I don't have the urge to be mad atm. I am just so sad that she thinks so little of me. I thought we were good friends.

 

Oh well. A 4 year friendship down the toilet.

 

Just needed to rant.

 

I've been totally drunk and had men trying to hit on me numerous times. And I've never cheated.

 

I've been where you are today Leigh.

 

I'm very very sorry. I also just want to take a moment to just say I think you probably need to re examine your relationship with your BF.

 

I am saying that because as a guy I know a hard on knows no conscience.

You post a lot, and although I don't agree with you 100 percent of the time I also know your posts are genuine and well thought out in almost every case. Always have been.

 

I just am making an observation as someone who has been in the same position you find yourself in that it may be in your best interest to consider breaking up with your boyfriend.

I just can't buy his version of events any more than I can buy Oceanfront property in Iowa.

 

People don't jump into bed with others unless they feel a vibe of being invited. Again, I know you are upset but please put on that intellectual hat that I know do possess through your writing.

 

I hate stories like this. They are a huge trigger for me and make me angry for the people that have them thrust upon them.

[xxoo]

Talk to your friend.

 

Your boyfriend's story, quite frankly, sounds like he made it up to cover his cheating and manipulate you by stroking your ego.

[smackie9]

After reading about your friends history, it didn't surprise me that she behaved that way. She never had any luck with men, her kids are from two different fathers, she's single, had a miscarriage, always calling you to pull her out of her troubles/depression, has you playing mom to her kids while she gets sauced, etc. I believe she is taking advantage of your kindness, is very jealous of your life, and now in her alcoholic stupor she tries to bang your BF. All arrows point to her, not your BF. Your friend is a train wreck....she's the one I would suspect has mental issues.

[Leigh 87]

You've mentioned that your boyfriend is a broke, unemployed, former drug addict. You've also mentioned that you were paying his bills. Perhaps she was asking these questions to try to find out if he is with you for the right reasons and not just using you.

 

He has a job?

 

He just had a very average paying one.

 

He's now got a good job and even spld his motor bike so he could update his semi trailer (extra large truck license ).

 

I pay 160 a month for his phone bill and got him a new phone. It was a gift.

 

He also spent 1000s on me with a surprise getaway, wired me 400 overseas just because, and spent 500 on jewellery for xmas. He doesn't have much and everything he has he gives tp me. He spoils me in commensurate to what he earns.

 

He is traditional, responsible and hard working. He's ambitious too.

 

His original job and the fact he didn't take me on dates irked me. Bht I later found out that his idea of spoiling was spending 100s. Not a 50 dollar dinner.i told him the lack of dates bothered me and he explained that he has social anxiety and enjoys spoiling me in other ways.

 

He said how his old job wasn't well paid ao he had a choice :dinners out or splashing out on hotel rooms and being able to gjve me things. For instance, he loves buying me clothes and bags when we go shopping. Tp treat me.

Edited January 1, 2016 by Leigh 87

[Leigh 87]

I really don't believe my bf slept with her.

 

If you knew my bf and knew her, you would also not think ot was likely.

 

Ny friend is messed up. Her father would molest children whilst she slept in their same bed.

 

I've ALWAYS got a jealous vibe. She's super out going and pretty too. She is a lot more social and frankly, she's better at interacting with people than me without a doubt.

 

It just makes more sense that she had reasons to try away from my happiness.

[Leigh 87]

Plus my boyfriend said that my friend said " do I have to look like Leigh in order to get a guy like you "

 

Trust me I am no super model or beauty queen. I am not a girl that other girls are usually jealous of. But when it comes to my friend I've always suspected she was jealous that my life is easier than hers.

 

She's had kids and has gained weight and I have slim child free body. I have a nice smile and get a lot of male attention due to my age and my 32 DDs lol.

 

Plus I've always got the vibe that she may not respect me. Just a feeling I've had.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, just so you know - I don't think all these people on this thread would be questioning your bf if YOU hadn't brought up your concern that he might be a sociopath. You evidently talked with a male friend about your concerns too. So - the worry is coming from YOU, since you have this worry you need to get it all out on the table.

 

You have said your bf is mentally ill. In what way?

 

I never suspected HE was a sociopath. ..

 

I worry a lot about people in general!

 

So many people are lying cheats! Aka sociopaths; person who can act head over heels in love when he's out dicking your mateis a sociopath. Normal people would be overcome with guilt and bave to confess.

 

So yah I DO worry about any man I date. There's nothing about him in particular. He seems like a total empath honestly.

[Leigh 87]

I've been where you are today Leigh.

 

I'm very very sorry. I also just want to take a moment to just say I think you probably need to re examine your relationship with your BF.

 

I am saying that because as a guy I know a hard on knows no conscience.

You post a lot, and although I don't agree with you 100 percent of the time I also know your posts are genuine and well thought out in almost every case. Always have been.

 

I just am making an observation as someone who has been in the same position you find yourself in that it may be in your best interest to consider breaking up with your boyfriend.

I just can't buy his version of events any more than I can buy Oceanfront property in Iowa.

 

People don't jump into bed with others unless they feel a vibe of being invited. Again, I know you are upset but please put on that intellectual hat that I know do possess through your writing.

 

I hate stories like this. They are a huge trigger for me and make me angry for the people that have them thrust upon them.

 

 

 

Many people lie.

 

My bf was feeling pretty sorry for himself in bed. When she opened the door snd started asking him inappropriate questions regarding why he was with me and what he sas in me.

 

She had been drinking tequila and was wasted.

 

Last night she was telling him in front of me that she loved his look. And thought he was hot. We thought it was a harmless compliment.

[lollipopspot]

I really don't believe my bf slept with her.

 

Ask the girlfriend her side of the story and perhaps she can help confirm or deny.

 

Plus my boyfriend said that my friend said " do I have to look like Leigh in order to get a guy like you "

 

According to him.

 

Your friend sounds like no prize, but I think you owe it to yourself and everyone involved to get the other side of the story. You haven't known this guy for very long. Even if you end up believing him and dumping her (which is legit if she did what she's accused of) she may give you some info about the situation that could be helpful in your relationship. Why wouldn't you want to talk to her?

[Heer]

Happy New Year!!

 

Leigh, I really feel your conundrum here. I haven't really been in your exact situation but here's my advice. I agree that you should at least talk to your friend. I refuse to believe that she would throw away such a lose friendship like this. If she did, then she needs help. Im glad that you trust your bf and you have such a good and positive relationship (I'm jealous of that:p:p). If your friend refuses to talk then you would really have to leave her. It's sad but its sad what has happened:(

 

-Kisses

[Leigh 87]

So he was too violently ill BEFORE, but was able to have "earth-shattering sex" with you AFTER?

 

Yeah - something doesn't add up...

 

He was violently ill in the morning it was light when they had their last shot. I am a non spirit drinker.

 

He was then extremely ill took a while to be able to lie down and sleep the room sas spinning too much when he lay down so he had to sit up in positions before being ready to sleep. He was puking too.

 

Couple hours later I got up. 3 to 4 hrs later. I wanted to go to maccas for a walk. She was acting all insistent about me taking her kids. .........

 

Sounds like she could have planed it. With asking me to take her kids out of the house to a Macdonalds she knew was ages away (she pretended it was close by but I found out it wasn't ).

[ExpatInItaly]

Have you spoken to her about this yet?

[Buddhist]

He was violently ill in the morning it was light when they had their last shot. I am a non spirit drinker.

 

He was then extremely ill took a while to be able to lie down and sleep the room sas spinning too much when he lay down so he had to sit up in positions before being ready to sleep. He was puking too.

 

Couple hours later I got up. 3 to 4 hrs later. I wanted to go to maccas for a walk. She was acting all insistent about me taking her kids. .........

 

Sounds like she could have planed it. With asking me to take her kids out of the house to a Macdonalds she knew was ages away (she pretended it was close by but I found out it wasn't ).

 

Well he sounds like a prize. Leigh, i've followed your threads for a while now. In all honesty I think you are quick to jump on his side because you are afraid of perhaps confronting the idea that this isn't the wonderful relationship you think it is. If there is one common theme to all your threads it's how little you think of yourself and how you very much want a relationship. Neither of those are judgements, we've all been there and there is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship a great deal.

 

But I do think your fear here of perhaps losing your dream is what's really driving you to instantly back him up.

[Leigh 87]

I've texted her.

 

I asked for her side of the story.

 

I wasn't mean. Just neutral.

[Leigh 87]

Well he sounds like a prize. Leigh, i've followed your threads for a while now. In all honesty I think you are quick to jump on his side because you are afraid of perhaps confronting the idea that this isn't the wonderful relationship you think it is. If there is one common theme to all your threads it's how little you think of yourself and how you very much want a relationship. Neither of those are judgements, we've all been there and there is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship a great deal.

 

But I do think your fear here of perhaps losing your dream is what's really driving you to instantly back him up.

 

 

 

I am not all desperate fora relationship. .

 

I rejected sooooooooooo many men. I get a LOT of male attention and was in no way "desperate" to find a relationship.

 

I could have had a relationship anytime I wanted. Instead I rejected LOTS of perfectly cute successful and kind seeming men. Some I really clicked with.

 

I look for fireworks. I want it all in a man; electric Chemistry, the soul connection and totally great compatability. And mutual respect. Lots of laughter. For him to spoil me.

 

Lol. If I was desperate for a relationship in an of itself, I would not have constantly rejected perfectly great seeming guys.

 

I was holding out for something earth shattering.

[Leigh 87]

Lol.

 

It's laughable that I would be desperate to find a relationship.

 

Do you all have any idea how many cute men hit on me and have asked for a relationship?

 

I am not a woman who needs to feel as though I am desperate to find a relationship. I know I could have one whenevwr I wanted.

 

I feel he could be the love of my life. That's why I'm upset over all of this. Lol the idea of "a relationship " not working doesn't phase me.

 

I could walk outside tomorrow, go shopping and have a relationship proposal. I don't need to worry about lack of options for relationships.

[Leigh 87]

My friend called me immediately upon seeing my text.

 

She said she was alarmed that I'd think she'd do that to me.

 

I asked if he tried anything.

 

She said hell no. She said she would have told me immediately. If he had

 

Thoughts?

[CarrieT]

Thoughts?

Yes.

 

Your guy isn't all he's cracked up to be and is playing games with you.

 

This will not end well...

[almond]

He may have made it all up to come between you and your friend for some reason. Really, it could be anything, and I try not to apply logic to the crappy, selfish things that people do. Often, there is no logic other than the twisted version of it that exists only in their minds.

 

Either one of them could be lying, but the story that your boyfriend gave seemed a bit off.

 

4 months with a guy, vs. 4 years with your friend. I found it concerning that you immediately started calling your friend a "skank," tearing apart her life, sharing intimate details about her father molesting children, and blindly trusting your boyfriend...gushing about how perfect he is. You weren't even going to ask for her side of the story!

 

Over the last four years, has your friend ever done anything like this? Is she a known liar? Is she the kind of person that would intentionally try to destroy a friend's relationship and then lie about it all? You know her...you don't know him. Do you have any reason to believe that she is capable of doing something like this?

 

Take off your love goggles and look at this situation properly. I fear that you may be unable to do this, and could potentially sacrifice a good friendship for a sh*tty relationship.

 

Proceed with caution. Good luck.