Bobbi7 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I'm amazed that 13 year old girls, start dating/having boyfriends at that age. The way I see it-they are the lucky ones because they get attention from boys, they know how to talk to them, are not socially awkward because they get the "you are pretty" compliments, are not insecure...and by the time they are adults-they have no problem locking a man down-because they are more experienced in that department. And here's me--no boys looked at me, I was the ugly duckling-didn't have sex until late 20's, have a hard time opening up to men, not that fully secure of myself....this sucks! So, now at my mid-30's, I'm starting to learn everything about men, what they want, what they like, how to attempt to have a connection with them, etc, etc. While the women that were "hot middle school" girls have no problem with men. I'm such a late bloomer. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 It's not that great peaking out at 13, either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) I'm amazed that 13 year old girls, start dating/having boyfriends at that age. The way I see it-they are the lucky ones because they get attention from boys, they know how to talk to them, are not socially awkward because they get the "you are pretty" compliments, are not insecure...and by the time they are adults-they have no problem locking a man down-because they are more experienced in that department. And here's me--no boys looked at me, I was the ugly duckling-didn't have sex until late 20's, have a hard time opening up to men, not that fully secure of myself....this sucks! So, now at my mid-30's, I'm starting to learn everything about men, what they want, what they like, how to attempt to have a connection with them, etc, etc. While the women that were "hot middle school" girls have no problem with men. I'm such a late bloomer. Ah, such assumptions. I suspect your attitude to others is partly why you've found yourself single for so long. My daughter was 14 when she got her first boyfriend. She's now 16 and has her second long term boyfriend. She wasn't the kind of girl who got all the "you are pretty" compliments. Instead, she was part of the nerdy crowd at the bottom of the pecking order. The beautiful crowd wore the fashionable shoes and she wore Doc Martens. The beautiful crowd wore their hair straightened and hers was curly. She is also academic, gets her assignments done early and is the kind of kid who ran the school assemblies. One of her friends has had two long term boyfriends from the same age. This girl has clearly had a cleft palate repair. No, she's not one of the beautiful girls either. Getting a boyfriend early has nothing to do with looks. It has everything to do with being self assured and not weird around the opposite sex. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Edited to say: I just asked my daughter about this. She says that she hasn't been a nerd since year 7! She describes herself as more of an 'Indie Cool' person now. Besides her best friends who are all very supportive of each other, nobody at school has ever told her that she's beautiful but she does get told that she's cool. And the popular girls are amazed that she has the courage to do things like shave off one side of her hair, have a nose piercing and wear second hand clothes. She agrees that it takes confidence rather than beauty to get a boyfriend. Edited January 2, 2016 by basil67 more info 5 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 While the women that were "hot middle school" girls have no problem with men. I'm such a late bloomer. Yeah, like some of the chicks that were giving BJ's to guys under the bleachers at such a young age. Loosing their virginities and getting knocked up and spreading diseases before the age of 18, such as shame. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 It's not that great peaking out at 13, either. THIS! In spades. To add - what the others have said - stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop comparing yourself to an entire block of humanity. Bobbi you are making HUGE assumptions that these early bloomers have it easy for some reason. You must realize there is a whole spate of problems and issues that come with being an early bloomer that is just as aggravating for those of us that have had to experience them. Don't you realize that the entire world wants what the other guy has? Those with straight hair are envious of those with curly hair. Small-breasted women want what the large-breasted women have. Short men wish they were tall. Married wish they were single and Singles want to be married. Don't you get it? You can get too mired in wanting what someone else has and it is an HUGE waste of time and effort. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) I'm amazed that 13 year old girls, start dating/having boyfriends at that age. The way I see it-they are the lucky ones because they get attention from boys, they know how to talk to them, are not socially awkward because they get the "you are pretty" compliments, are not insecure...and by the time they are adults-they have no problem locking a man down-because they are more experienced in that department. And here's me--no boys looked at me, I was the ugly duckling-didn't have sex until late 20's, have a hard time opening up to men, not that fully secure of myself....this sucks! So, now at my mid-30's, I'm starting to learn everything about men, what they want, what they like, how to attempt to have a connection with them, etc, etc. While the women that were "hot middle school" girls have no problem with men. I'm such a late bloomer. This isn't true and is too simplistic. For me, I'd say I "dated" a lot when I was a teen. Mostly between 16-18, although my first date was at 13 and I was always into some little boy or other. But, I don't count my teenage relationships personally when I think of the relationships I've had.Those relationships and who you are as a kid versus adult is so different. I almost feel like as a teen it was a sort of "playing bf/gf" and not really real. I don't know what you mean by "locking a man down" but just because I had experience dating didn't mean it guaranteed that it would be smooth sailing thereafter. I too have had relationship issues and problems and insecurities. Granted, I'm not socially awkward. I think I'm pleasant, know how to flirt and have banter and so forth so that helps, but it doesn't mean it's all easy and effortless in dating. Being secure in yourself is something you have to work on. Which 13 year old is secure????? Teens are NOTORIOUSLY insecure. In fact, as an adult woman is when you should gain more security in yourself. I think your insecurities and confidence and self worth are things you have to work on for you NOW (you can't go back to being a teen). Also, insecurities show in different ways. People assume being pretty, sexy or getting attention from men is what determines your self worth (you assume this, that girls should be secure because boys have told them they are pretty ), it does NOT! In fact that shows how little self worth you have if your barometer is how many men you can get, if you get a lot of compliments you're worth it and if not, no? Rubbish. Men are humans with flaws and problems and cannot grant us our worth. You are worthy and have to be secure in who you are and what you bring to the table prior to a man. Some women who are beautiful and get constant attention from men are still very much insecure and the only thing they value is how much attention they can get, yet still feel empty or don't know what to do if they don't get attention. Meanwhile, some women's confidence and self worth have nothing to do with that. Edited January 2, 2016 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 Yeah, like some of the chicks that were giving BJ's to guys under the bleachers at such a young age. Loosing their virginities and getting knocked up and spreading diseases before the age of 18, such as shame. And the boys are blameless when it comes to spreading diseases? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Nothing wrong with being a late bloomer Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 It makes sense they'll be experienced and it helps them greatly. All my female relatives haven't had more than a week boyfriendless or without a man in the picture somehow, since their early to mid teens and are greatly reaping the rewards of having that opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 And the boys are blameless when it comes to spreading diseases? Unless it's rape, women are the ones who decide when their undies come off so more of the blame naturally lies there. How many woman virgins over 25 do you know? Versus male virgins over 25? End of discussion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Unless it's rape, women are the ones who decide when their undies come off so more of the blame naturally lies there. How many woman virgins over 25 do you know? Versus male virgins over 25? End of discussion. By your theory, a boy can't make the decision to NOT stick his penis in a girl's mouth? And he can't make the decision to practice safe sex? I don't know any virgins over the age of 25. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Unless it's rape, women are the ones who decide when their undies come off so more of the blame naturally lies there. . I think guys decide when their own undies come off ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 I did not date at all between 13 and 18. I did what girls that age were suppose to do: Being a kid ! Have fun with my girl friends. I find that people that have started dating at a very young age are often the one incapable of being along later in live. They have not learn at a young age their own worth. They always saw themselves through the eyes of a boyfriend-girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 I had my first official date when I was 23. I focused on school and had friends. I am a naturally shy person but I'm intelligent. I know how to converse with people of any age and any walk of life. I know how to discuss world affairs and have fun banter. I was busy developing a personality between 13 and 18. You're single because you refuse to take a long hard look at yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted January 9, 2016 Share Posted January 9, 2016 I'm amazed that 13 year old girls, start dating/having boyfriends at that age. The way I see it-they are the lucky ones because they get attention from boys, they know how to talk to them, are not socially awkward because they get the "you are pretty" compliments, are not insecure...and by the time they are adults-they have no problem locking a man down-because they are more experienced in that department. And here's me--no boys looked at me, I was the ugly duckling-didn't have sex until late 20's, have a hard time opening up to men, not that fully secure of myself....this sucks! So, now at my mid-30's, I'm starting to learn everything about men, what they want, what they like, how to attempt to have a connection with them, etc, etc. While the women that were "hot middle school" girls have no problem with men. I'm such a late bloomer. That applies to any one who starts dating earlier, well there are many guys on this site who are late bloomers Link to post Share on other sites
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