smile95 Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Ok I have a question.......if a guy loves a girl, why do they like to be chased and the minute the girl stops chasing and gives up, he chases her? Is the attention to a guy(whether positive or negative) still attention and they like that? I do not get it????Do they think that they have lost her if she stops chasing and just freak out?Just asking hypothetically, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 It's the way of life I guess............... Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted June 2, 2005 Author Share Posted June 2, 2005 well it sux that I have to give up for him to wake up! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by beth5201 Ok I have a question.......if a guy loves a girl, why do they like to be chased and the minute the girl stops chasing and gives up, he chases her? this is the nature of human relationships and it is extremely common. just accept it. the key here is to know when u have to chase and when to be chased. relax, it is normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted June 2, 2005 Author Share Posted June 2, 2005 I am trying to relax but it is like as soon as I give up and get on with my life, he comes back and confuses me more! It is like he knows when I give up! Link to post Share on other sites
willduggan Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 let me put it in a kinda... scientific way, people want what they cant have, so when you persue him, he thinks he has you, and so its not quite as thrilling, hes not as worried, and so its easier. well when you stop persuing if he wants you he will get worried, will start trying to come for you instead of vice versa, kind of a big game of tag isnt it;) good luck with it. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by beth5201 I am trying to relax but it is like as soon as I give up and get on with my life, he comes back and confuses me more! It is like he knows when I give up! The chase is always more fun than the kill. If you want to move on, play hard to get and don't be "gotten." Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 I admit that I need to chase a little more, but I'm afraid I'll get bored too easily once I make the kill. It's happened before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted June 3, 2005 Author Share Posted June 3, 2005 I am just going to continue NC and not chase and if he does call back, maybe and hopefully, I will be over it and onto someone who does not play games! Link to post Share on other sites
TWR4 Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Speaking as someone who has chased and then gotten bored, we just are afraid to commit fully, aleways thinking something better might just be around the corner, then we'll have to be an a**h*** if we break somebody's heart to go get it. I always clung on to one girlfirend until I had another pretty well lined up, then made the switch. The newer one was always the one I was still chasing. However, what goes around... My last girlfrined did to me what I had always done to others. She stayed distant, and finally wanted something new, and I paid for it heavily. She broke my hear in half. A guy will change only when something inside him makes the change. Nothing anyone can do or say will change hi. He has to experience it internally. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by willduggan let me put it in a kinda... scientific way, people want what they cant have, so when you persue him, he thinks he has you, and so its not quite as thrilling, hes not as worried, and so its easier. well when you stop persuing if he wants you he will get worried, will start trying to come for you instead of vice versa, kind of a big game of tag isnt it;) good luck with it. I agree. This is the way of things between men and women. Courtship is a game and there are rules. Playing the game can be fun and you really get to see how much they want you or don't. Would you really want it any other way? Peace... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear I agree. This is the way of things between men and women. Courtship is a game and there are rules. Playing the game can be fun and you really get to see how much they want you or don't. Would you really want it any other way? good analysis M.B. These are part of the 'game' or the 'dance' of the relationship. Many don't realize that the 'game' is part-and-parcel of the whole deal. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Do you guys think this comes into play if the guy was the one who broke up with you? Initially you try to get him back but then you go into full NC mode, do you think this worries them or do you think they are really just done with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Beth, This guy you're posting about is not in it for the chase. He comes back to you because you're a sure thing.........sorry. As dgirl advised you- get a new guy and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen_Angel Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 Do you guys think this comes into play if the guy was the one who broke up with you? Initially you try to get him back but then you go into full NC mode, do you think this worries them or do you think they are really just done with you? I've been driving myself crazy wondering the same thing, because at first my ex said things like "I can't imagine my life without you," "You're also my best friend; I want us to stay friends" and "Call me WHENEVER you need to and I PROMISE I'll get back to you as soon as I can; I want to help you through this." Well, if you've seen any of my other posts, my ex is now suddenly "too busy" to contact me. Three weeks ago I left him a voicemail requesting a SIMPLE favor - no response. Two nights ago my dumb@$$ sent him a text message - again, no response. He did tell me the last time we spoke that he would be "busy," but in my humble opinion this is f'ing ridiculous. We dated for three and a half years and at one point in our relationship saw each other every day, and at the very least spoke once a day. You know what? Stop giving your ex the satisfaction of knowing you're still hooked on him. Take back control and move on. Why waste your time and energy on someone who plays games? You deserve better than that! And I do too! We ALL do! There's no magic solution to change a guy's mind. And some guys are entirely too stubborn. Well, let them be that way. Focus your energy on yourself and you'll find a guy who doesn't doubt his feelings for you and has no need for childish, manipulative games. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 We've been doing it longer than you may realize. ANybody ever play "Girls chase boys" or "Boys chase Girls" on the playground growing up? Human nature. We are brought up that way. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Well put Fallen Angel! I have definitely taken a step back, i changed my gym schedule and everything so that i can avoid him like a plague... up until this week he knew that no matter what he could go to the gym at 11 and see me, but now im going in the mornings...i dont think its fair that i had to change my schedule, but it hurt me too much to see him... All he has done has played games thruout this whole break up...if your done with me, be done completely, no need to say whats meant to be will be and time apart will let us know if we were right for each other...and no need to hang on to my things either...its all lines of BS...why he does it i have no clue... Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Its sort of a stupid game but its true...people want what they cant have... who knows if my ex falls into this category but for most humans it does..they give you up because they arent feeling the relationship anymore but then get a rude awakening... Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted June 3, 2005 Author Share Posted June 3, 2005 ok so when you say I am a "sure thing"...does that mean since he has done this 5 other times, he prob feels he can do it again and I will frop everything for him? So he takes some time off and when he thinks I have moved on, he begins the chase? Seems like too much work! I guess I need to break this crazy cycle! thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by beth5201 ok so when you say I am a "sure thing"...does that mean since he has done this 5 other times, he prob feels he can do it again and I will frop everything for him? So he takes some time off and when he thinks I have moved on, he begins the chase? Seems like too much work! I guess I need to break this crazy cycle! thanks! Yes. He likes chasing and as soon as he catches you, he's disinterested. My question is do you always want to be chased and never caught? That is what he wants. He doesn't want you, it seems to me. He wants to chase. Even I admit the chase is fun, but I get bored of chasing if I never catch my prey. The reason I chase is I desire the woman, not just the chase. Sounds like if he really wanted you he'd stick with you once you're caught. He's playing games, IMHO so you can tell him you're not interested in games by never being caught. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Ummm yeah, if he's done this five times and you've taken him back- he thinks you'll do it again. Shock him- you deserve better. I can't imagine living my life like that! Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Even I admit the chase is fun, but I get bored of chasing if I never catch my prey. The reason I chase is I desire the woman, not just the chase. Quoted for truth. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Hi Beth, After years of this cat and mouse, you've got to move on from him. He's not trying to be good to you and you deserve better. JMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted June 3, 2005 Author Share Posted June 3, 2005 Thanks....he does catch me and is great for a while, takes a break and then ignores me and then starts the cycle. I am going to try and let this go and hopefully when he does call for the "sure thing" I will be strong enough to ignore HIM. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted June 3, 2005 Author Share Posted June 3, 2005 so at what point does he say to himself....hmmmmm I bet she is with someone else now.....I will call and reel her back. What hits him.....ususally it is a month later, but wonder what WOULD happen if I did not reply this time? Link to post Share on other sites
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