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men and the chasing game


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How many times, really, count it out, has he done this to you? That's the question that you need to ask yourself.

 

Are you wondering what would happen if you didn't reply to see if maybe he would go above and beyond what he's done in the past? He just wants you there as back up, girl. Hate to be blunt, but I don't know what else to say.

 

Walk away from him. Leave it behind you. If you need to, tell him when he calls. Text him, whatever it is that you need to do. And then don't wait for his phone call/email/text that responds to your break up. Because he may or may not respond, as you already know.

 

This just doesn't seem worth it to me. But I also know that you can't walk away from him until you are ready.

 

Ask yourself this too: how many times does he have to do this to you for it to be too many and for you to walk away? What's that number?

 

Don't keep doing this to yourself over and over. Stop beating yourself up. Pull yourself together by the boot straps and say to yourself that you are better than this stupid game of his. Because you truly are.

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shamen-ok well this would be time # 6 that has been more than a week and no more than 2 months of ignoring. Each time, I say never again will I go back. But he always is so sweet and knows just what to say.This time I am following thru. Maybe I will never get the chance to ignore him, but I hope that I move on and let go. Before he started ignoring me, as you know, I as miserable. So what am I so sad about? honestly, I have to believe I deserve better, but I have never had a good healthy relationship, so how do I know what is better and what I deserve? How do I know there is better than this? I know it is a game to him and knowing this should be clue #1 that I need to get out. It is like getting beat up and hurt and coming back for seconds, and thirds, and so on. I want HIM to hurt like I have the last 3 wks.

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Beth, simply being alone and happy is _better_ than that. It's not so bad being alone. I've been single and happy before, I know I can do it again. And when you reach that point where you're single and really happy with yourself, your confidence boosts and guys will notice and want to be with you. It's happened to me in the past. When I reached that point, I met my stbxh (i know not a great example). But I also had many other guys come out of the woods to tell me they liked me too. All of a sudden I had all these guys to choose. I just choose the wrong guy.

 

I need to get back to that point where I was happy being by myself. Because I know it will bring me confidence in getting what I want.

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I have to admit the 3 wks without him have been drama free and I am not worrying and sick and sad over him anymore. No more disappointments and broen promises. My sister thinks that I should send him my therapy bills and RX bills. lol. I guess it is not a good sign when you hav to do both of those things over someone you "love". I have been happy alone before. I can do it again. I guess it is a process. Right now it is like I take one step fwd and two back. but I guess it is better than being in that crazy circle with him and never being happy. When it comes sown to it, I know I fear being alone. I want to be loved and I love that feeling of being loved back. I have to be logical and let my heart take a back seat while I get over him.

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Originally posted by beth5201

I have to admit the 3 wks without him have been drama free and I am not worrying and sick and sad over him anymore. No more disappointments and broen promises. My sister thinks that I should send him my therapy bills and RX bills. lol. I guess it is not a good sign when you hav to do both of those things over someone you "love". I have been happy alone before. I can do it again. I guess it is a process. Right now it is like I take one step fwd and two back. but I guess it is better than being in that crazy circle with him and never being happy. When it comes sown to it, I know I fear being alone. I want to be loved and I love that feeling of being loved back. I have to be logical and let my heart take a back seat while I get over him.

 

Hey Beth,

 

Ah ha! Your first couple of sentences say it all. Drama free. No disappointments and broken promises. There you go, girl. You've got your own answer really.

 

It is indeed a bad thing when you're with a guy and then you've got to go on meds and see a therapist just to be in the relationship, or to deal with it. Or deal with getting over it.

 

I like your sister! She's smart. :laugh:

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