Author Fruitee Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 Screw that. Don't sit around hoping and worrying whether he got the message. CALL THE FRIGGING POLICE and show then the threat and get the restraining order. Jeez. He outright threatened to hurt you? So he's a total loose cannon and he's nuts enough to announce it. HELLO. Get some bigger help just just trying to threaten him back with a piece of paper. Report him to the university too. I swear, you try to "nice" this guy, you'll wind up in a shallow grave. Don't mess around with this. Guys like this are Dangerous. Yes. I don't even wanna repeat what he said. He had told me before how he would kill me if I went out with someone else. But I always thought it was just talk and manipulation to keep me with him. This time what he said was little bit too extreme. And I realized (FINALLY!) that if I keep answering even "have a good day as well" or whatever to him I will never be safe or rid of him. And that sentence what he wrote something snapped in my head and I came to realization that this "relationship" is now 100 % over. Whatever hope I had in me for him to get his sh*t together went down the drain. Now he just disgusts me. He is a coward. When he attacked me he actually run away after I fought back and was very scared and told me not to go to the police etc. I guess I "forgot" to tell him that I used to do Martial Arts so he kind of gave up when he realized he couldn't win me. And of course I called the police. He was begging me I would go back there and say it was a mistake or something. But this guys is super scared of the police. So I do really believe he got the message and will now leave me alone. Only thing I need to do is to heal and not to get into similar relationship again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 20 Can't Miss Signs You're In Love ... With A Narcissist - That is actually really good article. He had same nick names or pet names for me and her. Took me to same restaurants etc. Pretty much all of that stuff he did to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 Funny thing how I was so in love with him. And now I just feel disgusted by him. I guess he played himself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 Who knows this guy may have felt the same way (in love) about his other two "baby mommas" before they got pregnant. Once pregnant, the spell is broken and he's on to the next one. Please don't let the tears he shed make you think he's genuine because I've known men who could cry at the drop of a hat if they thought it would help them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 20 Can't Miss Signs You're In Love ... With A Narcissist - That is actually really good article. He had same nick names or pet names for me and her. Took me to same restaurants etc. Pretty much all of that stuff he did to me. If you think he has narc traits you might like Aunty Alex's Army Manual. There's a link in this thread: I don't think my ex was a narc to be fair but this book did give some insights which I didn't find in Lundy's book. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/abuse/524069-book-suggestions Please just do not respond in any way to any further contact from him. You can get apps that block texts if your phone provider or mobile phone can't do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 Thanks for good book tips. I will check those out too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 I couldnt find any of those books from Google Books. But found this victims guide which seems pretty ok read. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Apparently Aunty Alex has a website: getting over a narcissist | alexandra nouri Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Sanctuary for the Abused Also found that blog with lot of interesting and useful posts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 16, 2016 Author Share Posted January 16, 2016 I have this strange feeling that he is back in town now. I had similar feeling when he left. I never believed in any kind of 6th sense etc. type of things. But my subconscious mind has also been preparing for this weekend when he told me he would be back. So I guess it just makes sense. I am feeling quite calm and hopeful. And if I see him somewhere I will worry about it then. If its somewhere open I can always just walk away. What I am worrying if I see him in clubs or in public transportation. Like what will I do then. How will he act. If I am alone will he try and talk to me. One of the things that bothers me is also the fact that this new guy I am seeing is living in same student housing as some of my ex friends. So I might see him or his friends when visiting this new guy. And what if he thinks Im stalking him or something. Because he told me how this one woman was stalking him. I think that story was bs. But anyway. Of course what he thinks doesnt matter. He cant contact me. And I have told him very clearly how I want nothing to do with him. I am wondering how will it feel when I see him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 All your old feelings will come flooding back. Are you worried about your safety? If so, I suggest you try to avoid clubs and other places that involve alcohol, at least for now, while his 'being back' is still new and his emotions might be raw. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 17, 2016 Author Share Posted January 17, 2016 All your old feelings will come flooding back. Are you worried about your safety? If so, I suggest you try to avoid clubs and other places that involve alcohol, at least for now, while his 'being back' is still new and his emotions might be raw. Yeah I decided not to go out for like 2 months. Should be enough time. Im not worried that he will try to hurt me. Not in public at least. Good thing is I have been preparing for this and I feel very strong now. Time to take control back and be bad ass again instead of hiding. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 17, 2016 Author Share Posted January 17, 2016 Guess its starting again. I guess he has noticed now that I was able to block his normal texts too because his friend just send me message in whatsapp.. That guy has no reason to contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 Guess its starting again. I guess he has noticed now that I was able to block his normal texts too because his friend just send me message in whatsapp.. That guy has no reason to contact me. Block his friend too. Ignore ignore ignore. Do you live somewhere safe? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 17, 2016 Author Share Posted January 17, 2016 Block his friend too. Ignore ignore ignore. Do you live somewhere safe? Yeah I blocked him straight away. But I dont think there is anyone else he could put texting me. So I hope that was it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 I wonder how could I ever put up with his bs for an year. And why it took me this long to understand and see all of this. I am really starting to see the light here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 Unbelievable... Not long time ago he was texting me how he misses me and wants to come over Sunday when he is back in town. I then answered him that if he does that I will call the cops. Just to be safe I made sure I wasnt home Sunday and spent the whole day away. I slept badly tho. Because his friend was texting me etc. So I decided to ask this one guy I kind of trust if he really is now back in town and this friend told me no. I asked because I dont want to stress myself if there is no reason e.g. losing sleep. I just dont understand him. Why he would tell me he is coming back but is not. Then put his friend texting me etc. I also noticed he is friends in fb again with his gf. So I suppose they are getting back together. I hope me blocking him and his friends now put an end to this. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I wonder how could I ever put up with his bs for an year. And why it took me this long to understand and see all of this. I am really starting to see the light here.Because women, by nature, trust and forgive and give second/hundredth chances. Link to post Share on other sites
cupcakebunny Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I wonder how could I ever put up with his bs for an year. And why it took me this long to understand and see all of this. I am really starting to see the light here. There are 1 million and a half reasons: Fear, self-esteem(you don't believe you can do better), think this is how relationships are "supposed to be", can't believe someone who you love/is your best friend would be this awful, etc. The list goes on. People stay in these kinds relationships for decades or even their entire lives. It's good you were able to leave. Just avoid all contact with him and his friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 19, 2016 Author Share Posted January 19, 2016 I feel stronger every day. And the fact that he is not gonna ve back for a while gives me comfort. I think he will be away for couple of weeks at least. So I still have time. The problem is thought now I am seeing red flags all around this "new guy". So I decided to just concentrate on myself. I am back at school. Work is going well. And i have some nice activities planned again. I hope I have time to exercise again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 19, 2016 Author Share Posted January 19, 2016 Why do I keep thinking about him??? Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 19, 2016 Share Posted January 19, 2016 Because you're not concentrating on fixing yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 One of the worst things is the guilt. The guilt felt by betraying yourself. I don't think about him\it much anymore, but when I do, I feel a deep sense of shame that I allowed the emotional abuse to happen. He will always know that for a brief moment in time he had that power over me. That thought still makes me ill. But you need to forgive yourself, and then I think you can truly move on from it. Sometimes I feel like I still have to "hide" in my own town for fear of running into him. I'm not afraid of him per se, but I guess I'm just embarrassed that I let it happen and am still alone when he has long since moved on to someone new. I could care less really, and know it's an irrational fear, yet it still exists. I wish THAT would go away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 ^ That is exactly how I feel too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 I feel so angry at myself. I wanna scream and shout and I feel like punching someone. Link to post Share on other sites
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