Donburi Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Me and my ex-bf of three years are doing LC right now. I want to get back together with him, he is aware of how I feel, but he won't say anything concrete, good or bad. He needs time to think, even though he says he's trying NOT to think about it right now. Well, I was just wondering, is it a good sign that he still communicates with me? It usually only consists of text messaging and talking online, but thats something...right? He usually always initiates it. I'm glad he still wants to keep in contact with me but I can't help but feel sad that in his convo's he usually has this care-free I don't have any problems attitude. Today for example he signed on real quick to send me a pic then after saying Have a great day! quickly signed off. I don't know if I should take his attitude as a hint that he's doing just fine without me or if he's just taking things slow right now but he is letting me know he still wants me in his life...I don't want to talk to him about it because I'd feel like I'd be pressuring him... He initiated the breakup, only because I cheated (he walked in on his friend making "moves" on me, which I didn't stop right away, no excuse!! Just wanted to make it clear my cheating wasn't a relationship or a continuing thing) Really complicated situation, I have other posts going into detail about it...so, other than this situation and other typical relationship problems we've had, we had a great thing going on, had plans for the future, marriage, etc... I'm pretty sure he isn't the type to string me along as a backup, but after what I did to him, I can't be 100% sure... I do think he is the type who believes in some kind of consequence or punishment though... I guess I was wondering, fellas? If you had a girl you were head over heels over for, and she hurt you badly, what would you do? How would you act if you knew you wanted to be together again someday? Would you play it cool and make her suffer a bit or tell her how you felt immediately? 10-Q for reading! Link to post Share on other sites
willduggan Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 from the way it sounds he might be letting things play out, see if its true or just a temporary thing on your side before making up his mind, he still feels for you otherwise he wouldnt call, people dont call those they dont care or think about right? so be patient, dont pressure, and just be happy with your life right now, be happy before getting him back, not the other way around, trust me, if he sees your happy(even if its an act) he WILL become more active (if of course he has feelings for you, which im pretty sure he does) good luck:) Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 If he's initiating the contact, then LC is OK. Just don't always be accessible. Did you apologize to him for what happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donburi Posted June 3, 2005 Author Share Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by willduggan from the way it sounds he might be letting things play out, see if its true or just a temporary thing on your side before making up his mind, he still feels for you otherwise he wouldnt call, people dont call those they dont care or think about right? so be patient, dont pressure, and just be happy with your life right now, be happy before getting him back, not the other way around, trust me, if he sees your happy(even if its an act) he WILL become more active (if of course he has feelings for you, which im pretty sure he does) good luck:) Thanks! Being patient, argh, thats exactly what I'm trying to do right now but its so hard! Its only been a month, too...But, I will wait as long as I can, because he is worth it. Being happy in front of the ex in order to get them back (and its good for youself!)seems to be very common advice around here, I noticed. I mean, I can totally understand it, people like confidence and whatnot but I dunno...I don't really know how I would take it if I saw my ex (who I had plans on getting back together with) perfectly content w/o me in their life...I guess I kinda like people who a bit dependent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donburi Posted June 3, 2005 Author Share Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC If he's initiating the contact, then LC is OK. Just don't always be accessible. Did you apologize to him for what happened? We've discussed this ALOT, and he knows how badly I feel. He knows what I did was completely out of character for me, and that I wouldn't ever do something like this again...we talked about everything the week after it happened, but then he wanted to do NC for a bit (which is really LC since we still communicate) until he comes back from a trip (he returns July 3rd) Til then he says he will try to decide what to do. Why wouldn't I want to be accessible? Shouldn't I be here for him since he must feel like after what I did I don't love him? I dunno, if I were him and my ex wasn't answering my calls or whatever I would feel resentful. Is like a "we want what we can't have" kinda thing? I'm not questioning your advice at all, I appreciate it, I'm just...trying to understand it, I guess. thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
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