Is she interested? Eek! And how can I avoid drama?

[shyguy3543]

Hey everyone. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for by posting here at this stage of things, but here's my story. I guess I'm wondering how to approach this first hang-out with girl A and how to avoid drama with a friend, we'll call her girl B, who likes me and I think believes we'll be dating soon. I'll try to keep this short!

 

So I met girl A when we wound up on the same kickball team this past fall. We barely spoke at all throughout the whole season, but I thought she was really pretty. At one point I looked her up on Facebook and her profile pic was of her and a guy who definitely seemed to be her boyfriend, so I was like ah, whatever, she's taken.

 

Once the kickball season ended in early November, a bunch of us added each other on Facebook. Since her and I barely spoke, I didn't add her, but she did add me and of course, I accepted lol. At that point, she had a different profile picture without her boyfriend (though there were still several old pics with him in it with her) and I noticed her relationship status said "No relationship info to show." I wasn't sure if it had said that before.

 

On 12/20, she messaged me on Facebook at like 1AM saying she had just hung out with a couple of people from our team and that she's gotta make sure to invite me next time. Then we got into a convo about an indoor soccer league and we agreed we should join it and she said she'd want to play on the same team as me. I thought it was cool, but didn't think anything much of it... UNTIL!!!!...

 

I decided to shut down my OkCupid account a couple of days later because I was sick of spending time looking through it. before doing that, I was like eh, let me look browse through one more time. Guess who I found! Yep, it was her. So now I knew she was single. Sweet!

 

We spoke again on Xmas when I messaged her to say merry xmas and we wound up talking a bit about our jobs and stuff. She said she admires the work I do (I'm a vet tech). Then we spoke mostly about fantasy football. She gave me some advice on my lineup.

 

The following day she messaged me to see how my team was doing. My team won the championship so she was like "haha you should go out and celebrate your win!" I replied saying that she should come join me in celebrating over a beer or two, or that we can be fancy and celebrate over coffee or tea, and I asked how her team did overall. She said "haha sure! I got 3rd place biatch!!"

 

So I suggested this craft beer place that I've been wanting to check out. She said she's heard great things about it and has wanted to check it out too. It's not etched in stone yet, but it's looking like we'll be going on Thursday. Should I somehow make it obvious that I'm interested? Gauge it with hints like how much eye contact is made? Act like we're just friends hanging out? Do I ask her out to dinner or something afterwards to make it kind of more known what I'm interested in pursuing? I don't know... I went on so many first dates last year that it just kind of seems like no big deal, but this time it's just a weird situation to me because she contacted me so randomly and I know she's looking to date. That says to me, hey, she must be interested! But on the other hand, she's got plenty of guy friends in the kickball league who are just friends. Since I was the new guy on the team, maybe she's just trying to include me more with team activity/make a new friend? And the fact that she'll read my Facebook message and not respond for hours, or up until the next day, just makes me think she's not all that interested.

 

But if that does pan out nicely, and we start seeing each other, there's girl B. I've spoken about her in my previous post on here. She was this girl that I had a fling with this past summer. I liked her A LOT. She told me she did and stuff, but then wound up back with her ex. Then she randomly blocked me from any contact and claimed it was her bf who blocked me. This happened 3 times. The 3rd time, we didn't speak for almost 2 months so I was like yea, forget this girl.

 

She reached out about a week before breaking up with her bf. She asked if things had gone differently, if I would've still wanted to date her. I told her that the feelings I had were gone, but I'm open to a friendship.

 

A couple of weeks later, we wound up going out for coffee and stuff and she wound up kissing me. She then broke up with her boyfriend (yea, she initiated the kiss while still technically being in a relationship with him).

 

We started hanging out more, cuddling, kissing, all that stuff. But then I told last week that after everything she put me through in the summer (there's more to it), I just couldn't trust her enough to be in a relationship with her in the foreseeable future. She freaked out on me, but calmed down right away when I reminded her that she started all of this after I had told her my feelings for her were gone. So we said we'll just be friends. She said she still had feelings for me but that she doesn't want a relationship right now anyway and that for now, she just wants to have fun. I told her I like her, but, again, that I don't see a relationship between us happening any time soon.

 

We wound up hanging out a few nights ago and she invited me over for a movie. We wound up cuddling again on the couch, but no kisses or anything sexual. She wants to hang out again soon and is saying stuff like how she wants to cuddle again and be close and stuff. Basically, stuff that makes me think that if I continue hanging out with her, it's gonna be trouble if things go well with girl A and I'm like "hey girl B, so remember how we're just friends? We're gonna have to stop cuddling and any of that stuff because I'm interested in girl A and I wanna give things a shot with her"

 

She said she's just looking for fun right now and doesn't want a relationship, so it technically shouldn't be a problem, but I feel like it'll be trouble! I've gone as far as to say "I want to make sure we're on the same page because I don't want you to get mad or hurt if I start dating someone else"

 

I'm guessing I should avoid any cuddling and affection whatsoever. It's hard to in the moment, especially when part of you is just like "ah, we're just friends being affectionate... no big deal. We've gone over what all of this is"

 

Things are never simple! haha