Tried to reconcile, she said no, but has sent a number of flirty texts

[samanil]

About 6 months ago I (27m) broke up with my girlfriend (25) of 3 years. I needed some space to sort out some personal issues, which I have gained tremendous insight into during this breakup period (details not exactly relevant). At any rate, about one month ago I met up with her and proposed a reconciliation. She cried and said she didn't know if she could trust me with her heart again. Despite that, we both said I love you. She said she wasn't sure and had to give it time. This limbo zone lasted a few weeks, with her being unsure, and then finally ended with her definitively telling me it is over. She said things like "My heart has moved on" and "I met someone else" and "things will never be the same between us."

 

In response I told her how great of an impact she had on my life and that I hope she is happy with the new guy because she deserves it. I also said I would love to have her back in the future but know that probably won't happen, so goodbye.

 

I accepted her rejection of me and wallowed in misery for a while, with no plans of contacting her again. I sent her a box of jewelry she had left at my house. Then, only 5 days after she definitively said "no" to reconciliation, she texted me "Thank you for my jewelry, I recognized your handwriting right away. I miss you...I miss us."

 

I kept it short and just said "You are welcome, I miss us too."

 

Then, on Christmas, she texted me "Merry Christmas Wampa :)" (wampa is her nickname for me; it is the snow beast from the second Star Wars).

 

I kept it short again and said "You too"

 

Then, on new years, only 8 minutes after midnight, she texted me "Happy New Year and happy birthday Wampa!" (New Years is my birthday.) Included in this text was an emoticon blowing a kiss with a heart.

 

Yes, a kissy emoticon with a heart.

 

I was having fun at a party so I didn't respond that night. The next day at noon I said "Happy New Year Wumpy" (my nickname for her)

 

Anyways, wtf do I do here? Just ignore her? Keep my responses brief? I feel that she might be trying to hint that she regrets her decision to say no to reconciliation. If she was having a blast with some new guy, why text me 8 minutes after new years?

 

Let me also add that she is a true sweetheart without a mean bone in her body. I have never see her do anything vindictive ever, so I am pretty sure these texts are not coming from a place of anger/desire to punish me for breaking her heart.

[goldway90]

Maybe stop the texting and ask her to hangout? she said " i miss US" take the hint and make a date, have fun ( don't mention the past and stuff) just enjoy her company.

[greenleaves54]

She knows where you stand.

 

I'd give her time and space to figure out what she wants. If she decides she wants you she'll make it clear. I think asking her to meet up right now would only push her further to that other guy.

[ExtraSpice]

Wow I am almost in exactly the same position as you. I broke up with my girlfriend as I needed to solve some personal issues. During the breakup period I gained insight into these problems as well and later asked my ex for reconciliation.

 

Her response was very similar. She wasn't sure as I had hurt her by breaking up with her. She wasn't sure why I couldn't just share my problems with her. And all those were very valid points. I asked her to take some time to think about it and whatever she decides I will have to respect that decision. I am still in that limbo mode but almost everything points to her saying no. I will find out definitively soon enough.

 

I agree with greenleaves54, she knows where she stands. She obviously still misses you because even though the answer to reconciliation was no, you can't just instantly toss someone out of your mind. Give her time and if she wants you she will make it clear.

 

If she doesn't make it clear and continues the odd intimate text here and there then maybe you can ask her what she wants. Is she sending these texts because she wants reconciliation or just to vent some emotions?

[lolablue17]

If you like the attention, just keep doing what you've done till now. If you want it to change, why don't you change it?

 

Call her or text her that "you find it odd to tell you "I miss us" while she's with someone else, probably telling him that she loves him. That you are planning to move on, exactly like she did, and the "I miss us" stuff seems dishonest and unreliable to you.

 

Tell her that if she's respected you and herself, she should either prove her honesty- or - stop sending you false texts. She will not like your message, but she will have to decide, and stop to selfishly mislead you.

Edited January 3, 2016 by lolablue17

[Beach Guy]

Block her number and move on. Her heart has "moved on," remember! So should yours.

[Marc878]

Breadcrumbs. Move on

[dobielover]

I don't think those are flirty. I think they're nostalgic.

[samanil]

If she doesn't make it clear and continues the odd intimate text here and there then maybe you can ask her what she wants. Is she sending these texts because she wants reconciliation or just to vent some emotions?

 

I like this advice. I am going to stick to NC and if she contacts me again, I will ask her what her goal is in contacting me, and to please not contact me unless it is something important. I love hearing from her but it is preventing me from moving on and healing.

[Qboro90]

Sounds like she's enjoying knowing that she can get back together with you anytime she wants but likes the time she has now to do what she wants, see/talk to who she wants without any consequences, and basically keep you on hold until she's relationship ready again. You're making it easy on her by your actions and behavior being so geared to getting her back. But at this point you've made it clear you are looking to reconcile and she's kept you at bay over and over. In my opinion you need to pull back or make a stand when she sends you these breadcrumbs.

 

"Hey, I think I've been pretty clear about wanting you in my life and wanted to be patient with you due to the circumstances. But at this point I think it's been long enough and I can't continue putting my life on hold in hopes you want to reconcile. Not that this is an ultimatum, if you're unsure, that's fine. However I need to be fair to myself and allow myself to progress." Something with that kind of overall message to her.

 

Did you cheat on her or do anything disrespectful that caused the initial breakup btw?

[samanil]

Sounds like she's enjoying knowing that she can get back together with you anytime she wants but likes the time she has now to do what she wants, see/talk to who she wants without any consequences, and basically keep you on hold until she's relationship ready again. You're making it easy on her by your actions and behavior being so geared to getting her back. But at this point you've made it clear you are looking to reconcile and she's kept you at bay over and over. In my opinion you need to pull back or make a stand when she sends you these breadcrumbs.

 

"Hey, I think I've been pretty clear about wanting you in my life and wanted to be patient with you due to the circumstances. But at this point I think it's been long enough and I can't continue putting my life on hold in hopes you want to reconcile. Not that this is an ultimatum, if you're unsure, that's fine. However I need to be fair to myself and allow myself to progress." Something with that kind of overall message to her.

 

Did you cheat on her or do anything disrespectful that caused the initial breakup btw?

 

Great advice, I think if she contacts me again I will tell her something along the lines of what you said.

 

I did not cheat on her, and never would. Basically, I broke her heart badly by breaking up with her, and that is the big issue. However, I knew it would have been worse if I stayed with her longer and broke up with her later. I think a breakup was inevitable as I needed some time to figure myself out. I know within my heart that if I were to get back together with her I would be ready to be with her for the long haul.

[Qboro90]

Great advice, I think if she contacts me again I will tell her something along the lines of what you said.

 

I did not cheat on her, and never would. Basically, I broke her heart badly by breaking up with her, and that is the big issue. However, I knew it would have been worse if I stayed with her longer and broke up with her later. I think a breakup was inevitable as I needed some time to figure myself out. I know within my heart that if I were to get back together with her I would be ready to be with her for the long haul.

 

So I think you need to present her with that attitude in one last honest convo before pulling away. Explain to her that you understand her hesitancy for trusting you with her heart again. But say that when you broke up it was because you cared too much about her to just string her along while you figured out whether or not you were ready and able to commit to a long term serious relationship. You've always respected her and felt she deserves the best and didn't want to give her any less which is why you originally broke up.

Then explain how that time gave you the ability to see that you much rather have her in your life and that you want something serious. If you convey that honestly that's all you'll need to do.

 

Now if she still responds and says she's unsure, then I think she's playing unecessary games still. That's when you need to be strong and say that you've been up front and honest and done everything you could to re establish something with her. If she's still not ready then make her aware that while you'd love to see her, you also won't continue to regularly contact her and act like everything is peachy while she "figures things out"

[samanil]

So I think you need to present her with that attitude in one last honest convo before pulling away. Explain to her that you understand her hesitancy for trusting you with her heart again. But say that when you broke up it was because you cared too much about her to just string her along while you figured out whether or not you were ready and able to commit to a long term serious relationship. You've always respected her and felt she deserves the best and didn't want to give her any less which is why you originally broke up.

Then explain how that time gave you the ability to see that you much rather have her in your life and that you want something serious. If you convey that honestly that's all you'll need to do.

 

Now if she still responds and says she's unsure, then I think she's playing unecessary games still. That's when you need to be strong and say that you've been up front and honest and done everything you could to re establish something with her. If she's still not ready then make her aware that while you'd love to see her, you also won't continue to regularly contact her and act like everything is peachy while she "figures things out"

 

Okay, so are you suggesting that I now contact her on my own initiative and communicate these things?

[Qboro90]

Okay, so are you suggesting that I now contact her on my own initiative and communicate these things?

 

Well how often are you and her communicating? I would wait until she contacts you next before bringing anything up. Your silence will say more than anything and give you reason to bring it up once she reaches out to you as well.

 

Also, if she neglects to contact you, then that really tells you all you need to know right there doesn't it? You say you broke her heart when you ended things. Yet you've clearly been trying to get her back which would appear to be something she'd be happy about and at least interested in even if she wants to be cautious about it. If she's not contacting you then that tells me she's got other interests that she wants to see played out before she jumps back into anything with you. If she didn't, then you'd be hearing from her more often and be getting more of a vibe that she's just trying to find out if you're going to hurt her again as opposed to trying to figure out if she wants to even date you again. Right now I get the feeling it's the latter. Wait till her next contact .

 

If you're replies are short it will prod her into saying "what's wrong, you're not being very talkative".... Then that's when you say what was described in my previous post.

[samanil]

Well how often are you and her communicating? I would wait until she contacts you next before bringing anything up. Your silence will say more than anything and give you reason to bring it up once she reaches out to you as well.

 

Also, if she neglects to contact you, then that really tells you all you need to know right there doesn't it? You say you broke her heart when you ended things. Yet you've clearly been trying to get her back which would appear to be something she'd be happy about and at least interested in even if she wants to be cautious about it. If she's not contacting you then that tells me she's got other interests that she wants to see played out before she jumps back into anything with you. If she didn't, then you'd be hearing from her more often and be getting more of a vibe that she's just trying to find out if you're going to hurt her again as opposed to trying to figure out if she wants to even date you again. Right now I get the feeling it's the latter. Wait till her next contact .

 

If you're replies are short it will prod her into saying "what's wrong, you're not being very talkative".... Then that's when you say what was described in my previous post.

 

Well we were in contact quite a bit during the breakup, and she would often text me saying she misses me and she thinks about me a lot and she will always be extremely attracted to me etc. Once she said "You are the only one I want, why aren't you with me? My poor future boyfriend."

 

It was only once I tried to reconcile that she backed off. I think it really plays into the whole mentality of chasing/being chased. When she was chasing me, she was all on me. Then when the roles were reversed, she backed off. Everyone wants what they can't have!

 

At any rate, I think your analysis is spot on. I will wait until she contacts me. If the past few weeks are any indication, she will probably contact me somewhat soon. If she doesn't I think I will nudge her with a little text in about a month asking how she is etc.

 

In my view, the texts she has sent are more than breadcrumbs--they are her letting me know that she still thinks about me, misses me, and to a certain extent wants me in her life. I'm not going to "bite" unless she is definitive, however I am also not going to let her go that easy. This is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life.

[ExtraSpice]

Well we were in contact quite a bit during the breakup, and she would often text me saying she misses me and she thinks about me a lot and she will always be extremely attracted to me etc. Once she said "You are the only one I want, why aren't you with me? My poor future boyfriend."

 

It was only once I tried to reconcile that she backed off. I think it really plays into the whole mentality of chasing/being chased. When she was chasing me, she was all on me. Then when the roles were reversed, she backed off. Everyone wants what they can't have!

 

At any rate, I think your analysis is spot on. I will wait until she contacts me. If the past few weeks are any indication, she will probably contact me somewhat soon. If she doesn't I think I will nudge her with a little text in about a month asking how she is etc.

 

In my view, the texts she has sent are more than breadcrumbs--they are her letting me know that she still thinks about me, misses me, and to a certain extent wants me in her life. I'm not going to "bite" unless she is definitive, however I am also not going to let her go that easy. This is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life.

 

That is very interesting because my ex did a very similar thing. I broke her heart by breaking up with her and in the weeks following she was talkative and still intimate. We even discussed that if we were to get back together it would be serious not based on an impulse. I took those signs as she would be willing to get back with me. I knew everything would not just snap back to normal but I thought there was a chance.

 

And then when I came out and asked her to give me another chance and to try again, she seemed to pull back. She said that she couldn't commit herself to anyone and there were things she wants to accomplish now. Which was strange to me because it all came out of no where.

 

I asked her to think about it and come next week we are supposed to talk to see if she would be willing or not. I will present my case one final time then and after that I would have to move on.

 

I think Qboro90's advice is good. Wait for her to text you and then present her with your final case.

 

Best of luck! Let us know if it ends up in your favor.

[Qboro90]

Well we were in contact quite a bit during the breakup, and she would often text me saying she misses me and she thinks about me a lot and she will always be extremely attracted to me etc. Once she said "You are the only one I want, why aren't you with me? My poor future boyfriend."

 

It was only once I tried to reconcile that she backed off. I think it really plays into the whole mentality of chasing/being chased. When she was chasing me, she was all on me. Then when the roles were reversed, she backed off. Everyone wants what they can't have!

 

At any rate, I think your analysis is spot on. I will wait until she contacts me. If the past few weeks are any indication, she will probably contact me somewhat soon. If she doesn't I think I will nudge her with a little text in about a month asking how she is etc.

 

In my view, the texts she has sent are more than breadcrumbs--they are her letting me know that she still thinks about me, misses me, and to a certain extent wants me in her life. I'm not going to "bite" unless she is definitive, however I am also not going to let her go that easy. This is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life.

 

I'm a little unclear on something after reading this reply. When did you try to reconcile with her? Was it recently? And what exactly did you say to her? Via text or call or in person? I was under the impression you had been mentioning it a few times over the last few weeks/months and she was dancing around a definite answer. When in all this did she say "you are the only one I want..." ?

 

Because if you've just been talking with her to continue contact and haven't made it clear that you legit wanted her back as your gf, then she may have a right to make you wait and work for it. You left her... So just think if you were in her shoes and she came back to you and texted you to talk and bs but didn't really make it seem like she had to earn you back. If this is the case then she's prolly holding off as a self respect thing so as not to appear easy to pick up and put down at your convenience. If she took you back immediately or after one single attempt via text then let's be honest... Youd subconsciously think that you could do this all over again if in 6 months or a year, you got bored or changed your mind because she took you back so easily this time.

 

If none of that's the case and you've made it clear to her you want her back both in text, phone call/in person, and she's doing the "chase" game then I stand by my original advice. If otherwise then your plan might need a little editing.

[phenix]

This is very simple. When a woman contacts you and says she misses you, she is hoping that ull be a man and set a meeting. Otherwise she will assume you're not interested and move on. Set a date already! And focus on having fun. Let the emotional side be dealt by her. Stop talking about relationship. Stop it! This is her department. Again, focus on having a fun time.

[samanil]

This is very simple. When a woman contacts you and says she misses you, she is hoping that ull be a man and set a meeting. Otherwise she will assume you're not interested and move on. Set a date already! And focus on having fun. Let the emotional side be dealt by her. Stop talking about relationship. Stop it! This is her department. Again, focus on having a fun time.

 

Hmm...you think I should try to set one up this weekend? Or give it some time? I was thinking a month. I don't want to come across as needy and too desperate to get back together.

[samanil]

I'm a little unclear on something after reading this reply. When did you try to reconcile with her? Was it recently? And what exactly did you say to her? Via text or call or in person? I was under the impression you had been mentioning it a few times over the last few weeks/months and she was dancing around a definite answer. When in all this did she say "you are the only one I want..." ?

 

Because if you've just been talking with her to continue contact and haven't made it clear that you legit wanted her back as your gf, then she may have a right to make you wait and work for it. You left her... So just think if you were in her shoes and she came back to you and texted you to talk and bs but didn't really make it seem like she had to earn you back. If this is the case then she's prolly holding off as a self respect thing so as not to appear easy to pick up and put down at your convenience. If she took you back immediately or after one single attempt via text then let's be honest... Youd subconsciously think that you could do this all over again if in 6 months or a year, you got bored or changed your mind because she took you back so easily this time.

 

If none of that's the case and you've made it clear to her you want her back both in text, phone call/in person, and she's doing the "chase" game then I stand by my original advice. If otherwise then your plan might need a little editing.

 

I will give you the full story. I broke up with her 6 months ago, and for the following 5 months we stayed in contact. We would talk about random stuff and sometimes send very flirtatious texts about missing each other. Once she said she fantasizes about me and how I am the only one she wants. She also hit me up once and said she was near me and wanted to meet up. She then came over and we had sex twice.

 

This entire time I strongly questioned my decision to breakup with her. However I knew that I still had some personal things to workout. I believe that part of me unconsciously thought she would always be there when I was ready to get back together, since she was absolutely head over heals in love with me. This was dumb of me.

 

A little over a month ago I logged onto Facebook and saw that some dude had gone to Hawaii, taken a photo of himself, and tagged her in it saying "I wish you were here." This set off a volcano of emotions inside of me and suddenly I realized how much she meant to me and how I could not stand to lose her. I made a big mistake here and texted her about the guy, asking who he was etc. I said I hated the idea of her being with him and that I was feeling very protective of her.

 

I then said that I wanted to meet up. She said she didn't think it was a good idea because she still wasn't over me and if she saw me it would make it harder for her to move on. I said I had something I needed to talk to her about and she agreed. We met up for a hike and had a fun time, joking and flirting etc. We embraced each other in a passionate hug numerous times. I then said I wanted to get back together. She started crying and said she didn't know if she could trust me with her heart again.

 

Despite that, we made out a little bit and both said I love you. She said she couldn't decide about getting back together and needed to give it time. The following week (one month ago) I contacted her saying I wanted to meet up the next weekend. She said "I can't see you for a while" to which I asked "Why?"

 

Her: "I don't trust you with my heart again and I went through a lot when we broke up and I am just starting to feel better about myself."

 

I responded with a bunch of emotional stuff: "I needed to lose you to realize how much you mean to me, you are my dream girl" etc. It was not good.

 

Her: "I can't right now, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

 

Me: "It's ok, you don't need to be sorry. Take your time, you are the one for me and when you are ready I'll be here. Love you."

 

Her: "You seriously just made me start crying and I'm at work. I love you too. I'm not going to talk to you for a while."

 

At this point I broke down in tears and was an emotional mess.

 

Despite what she said, she texted me about an hour later to inform me of a shooting that had occurred very near to her. I thought this was a good thing because she reached out to me during a scary moment, despite saying she wasn't going to talk to me for a while.

 

We exchanged a few texts here and there for the next week or so. I came to the realization that I had mishandled the attempted reconciliation. I should not have brought up the other guy and I should not have applied so much pressure on her. I bought her a Xmas gift and wanted to give it to her in person and apologize. I planned to tell her that she needed to go off on her own, explore, do her own thing, and hopefully come back to me on her own due to her own decision that she wanted to get back together. Basically, I wanted to make her feel like I wasn't waiting around for her to choose, but rather was OK with her doing whatever she wants and would simply hope she chose to come back to me at some point in the future.

 

I called her, but she didn't respond. The next day I texted her in the morning saying I wanted to give her a present and tell her something, but she didn't respond until later that afternoon. This is when she dropped the bomb on me:

 

"I can't accept a present from you. I hate ignoring your calls but it's become apparent to me that we can't be friends right now when u asked me to hang out with you a while back I asked you what u wanted from me and you said to maintain my friendship and not lose me. I was willing to do that but it forced me to let my heart move on and I did. And I met someone that I like and whom is really nice to me. I really hate this situation but all I can do is be straight forward with you. I have so much care for you still but it won't ever be the same with us again."

 

I responded: "I appreciate you being straightforward. That is what I was going to tell you, that you need to do your own thing and explore, like I did. I hope you are extremely happy with him because you deserve it. If you ever want to be friends again I would love that. You are amazing and elevated my life enormously and I will always remember you in the most positive way. All the times I was nasty to you, I am so sorry and you never deserved it. I still hope that I can have you back sometime in the future, but I know that probably won’t happen, in which case I’ll always remember you. Bye."

 

This text exchange happened on December 14, exactly 3 weeks ago.

 

I accepted the fact that it was definitively over, and resolved to never contact her again. I sent her a box of jewelry she had left at my house, and that was that.

 

But then, only 4 days later on Dec 18, she hit me with:

 

"Thank you for my jewelry. I recognized your handwriting right away. I miss you, I miss us."

 

Me: "You are welcome, I miss us too."

 

On Christmas she said "Merry Christmas Wampa! :)"

 

Me "You too :)"

 

8 minutes after new years she said: "Happy New Years and happy birthday wampa!" along with a kissy emoticon with a heart

 

The next day I said "Happy New Years Wumpy"

 

That's the story. I am confused and don't know what to do.

Edited January 5, 2016 by samanil

[samanil]

That is very interesting because my ex did a very similar thing. I broke her heart by breaking up with her and in the weeks following she was talkative and still intimate. We even discussed that if we were to get back together it would be serious not based on an impulse. I took those signs as she would be willing to get back with me. I knew everything would not just snap back to normal but I thought there was a chance.

 

And then when I came out and asked her to give me another chance and to try again, she seemed to pull back. She said that she couldn't commit herself to anyone and there were things she wants to accomplish now. Which was strange to me because it all came out of no where.

 

I asked her to think about it and come next week we are supposed to talk to see if she would be willing or not. I will present my case one final time then and after that I would have to move on.

 

I think Qboro90's advice is good. Wait for her to text you and then present her with your final case.

 

Best of luck! Let us know if it ends up in your favor.

 

Thanks for this. I think in both of our cases, our exes are very conflicted. They love us but they are scared of being hurt again. It is very understandable. However, let us both hope that love triumphs over fear! I will let you know what the conclusion of my situation is, and please let me know what happens with you as well.

[samanil]

I'm a little unclear on something after reading this reply. When did you try to reconcile with her? Was it recently? And what exactly did you say to her? Via text or call or in person? I was under the impression you had been mentioning it a few times over the last few weeks/months and she was dancing around a definite answer. When in all this did she say "you are the only one I want..." ?

 

Because if you've just been talking with her to continue contact and haven't made it clear that you legit wanted her back as your gf, then she may have a right to make you wait and work for it. You left her... So just think if you were in her shoes and she came back to you and texted you to talk and bs but didn't really make it seem like she had to earn you back. If this is the case then she's prolly holding off as a self respect thing so as not to appear easy to pick up and put down at your convenience. If she took you back immediately or after one single attempt via text then let's be honest... Youd subconsciously think that you could do this all over again if in 6 months or a year, you got bored or changed your mind because she took you back so easily this time.

 

If none of that's the case and you've made it clear to her you want her back both in text, phone call/in person, and she's doing the "chase" game then I stand by my original advice. If otherwise then your plan might need a little editing.

 

I should also add that this hot/cold behavior is not unprecedented with her. It happened one other time: when we first got together.

 

It was about a year after meeting her that we started dating. After we met, we went on various dates for a while, and made out a few times. We also went on a walk and held hands. Then at the end of one of our dates I asked "do I get a kiss?"

 

She said "No. I'm sorry but I just want to be friends."

 

I was destroyed by this because I was pretty into her. I resolved to not contact her again and move on. However, then she started contacting me trying to hangout with me. I was hesitant because I didn't just want to be her friend.

 

We ended up hanging out a few times as "friends" and nothing happened. Then one night we randomly ran into each other at a bar. We chatted and had fun, and then I went home. When I got home she texted me "Hey where did you go? You didn't say bye :("

 

I responded that I was at home and she could come over if she wanted. She came over, and that was the beginning of a wonderful 3 year relationship.

 

And now here I am, almost 4 years later, trying to win back my dream girl.

[phenix]

You overthink WAY too much. Keep doing that and you'll lose her for good. Show some confidence and some masculinity and she'll stay. Go for what you want. Withholding will lead you nowhere. It's not about withholding you need to have a take it or leave it attitude but you won't know if she takes it until you go for what you want. If she says no then walk and never look back. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't badly dig you anyways.

[samanil]

You overthink WAY too much. Keep doing that and you'll lose her for good. Show some confidence and some masculinity and she'll stay. Go for what you want. Withholding will lead you nowhere. It's not about withholding you need to have a take it or leave it attitude but you won't know if she takes it until you go for what you want. If she says no then walk and never look back. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't badly dig you anyways.

 

I see what you're saying, and I agree with you somewhat. However, I have made it abundantly clear to her that I want her back. Will another attempt to see her really change her mind? I think that not contacting will send a more powerful message, which is that I respect her decision and am trying to move on. She better act quick, or else I will be gone!

 

Also--she does badly dig me! (Or at least she did, I believe she still does seeing as she contacted me 8 minutes after new years). I just broke her heart and she is scared of trusting me with her heart again.

[goldway90]

You said you want her back, she knows this so act like it, move on man. Take her off this pedestal, live your life if she wants you back, she'll will contact you. Go on dates with other girls, stop wasting too much time, life is short.

 

"Also--she does badly dig me! (Or at least she did, I believe she still does seeing as she contacted me 8 minutes after new years)"

 

If she did, she'd be with you, but this girl is just not that into you right now, don't project your own interest level onto her.