ZA Dater Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Browsing threads here I am somewhat taken about by how much thinking do, for example "is him being close to his family a bad thing", "what things should you look at one a first date". I don't get this, why read so much into people, look at what's sitting in front of you and listen to what they say instead of trying to analyse each thing they say, each thing they do. Makes no sense to me at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Because we are individuals with each our history, bad and good experiences, beliefs, personal rules, personal limits. Little things like this may mean nothing to you but to someone else it may be a deal breaker. We are not all at the same level of experience in dating. Some of us have done it for a long time and we have a good instinct about it, others are just starting and asking themselves the same questions we did at beginning. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 I'm not one to over analyse every little detail but for sure in my last relationship if I had looked properly and paid more attention to all of the little tiny seemingly insignificant things then I wouldn't have ended up trapped in a controlling and emotionally abusive relationship for 7 months. Looking back I would have run before it got as far as 2 months in. However, I had never dated someone with the traits he had so I wasn't even aware of traits to 'be aware of' at that point in time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 You can Never know & Never be too careful. Sometimes it's what they say or do, other times it's what they don't say or do... Other times, they will even Change their mind about things they'je Said or things they knew about you. I am nor saying that overanalysing is a good thing. I think being aware & staying aware with regard to your partner is paramount, at least the first 6 months of dating. Most of the times, the first one / two months will do, i get to see through the lies & fog. It takes training, unfortunately ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 Interesting replies and having thought about my own beliefs I think the reason I don't see why people over analyse things is because fundamentally I take each person as they are, i.e. what they say to me, how they come across. Small things are immaterial and maybe I am wrong but we as people adapt and are never static so if there is enough fondness the smaller things can worked on, as opposed to throwing the person away because they dress strangely. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I'm not sure what you mean by dressing strangely but if it's a particular style you go for maybe look for others who also like that style? I have seen it written in many books on body language that what a man wears is more important than what a woman wears. First impressions do count, as we all know. Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Interesting replies and having thought about my own beliefs I think the reason I don't see why people over analyse things is because fundamentally I take each person as they are, i.e. what they say to me, how they come across. Small things are immaterial and maybe I am wrong but we as people adapt and are never static so if there is enough fondness the smaller things can worked on, as opposed to throwing the person away because they dress strangely. When did you become ok with adapting? Link to post Share on other sites
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