RACHDY Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 I have been seperated for eight months now and was wondering if it is legal to change the locks on my home? He comes in and takes things when were not here ( I have two kids). He says he wants to make it work but his actions say something eles. I am so tired of this roller coaster ride! I'm depressed and want the strengh to start over - this is no way to live. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Do you have a legal separation agreement? Of course state laws vary, but I believe that without a legal separation agreement, you can't legally lock him out of the house. Technically, without a legal agreement, he doesn't legally have to vacate the premises. What kind of things are you both doing to work this out? Are you going to marriage counselling? Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 When my stbxh left, my parents came up. They would not leave until the locks were changed. So I told my ex this. He said it was ok, he understood. Then for weeks after, he'd threaten that he could legally break into the house if he really wanted to, and I should notice how much of a nice guy he is because he's not. I eventually got sick of hearing it, and told him "I really dont appreciate you threatening me" He goes, "it's not a threat". I just reiterated my comment and I havent heard the topic come up since. I'd go talk with your lawyer and see what you're entitled to do. For safety reasons alone, I'd change the locks and deal with the consequences later. Even if he's legally allowed to break into the premises, no court will appreciate him doing it unless he gave me full notice that he wanted something, and I refused to give it to him. I also found out he cant kick me out of the house either. He'd need to file a claim, that would take atleast 2 months, and even then, since this is my only residence, no judge will kick a woman out onto the street. Talk to your lawyer, but I'd rather be safe than worry about laws. The fact that he's taking things when you're not home is very upsetting. You have no clue if he's just taking the toaster or the money he stashed under the bed. You need to protect yourself and your assets. Link to post Share on other sites
SexiiPinkLadii Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Where I live (In NC) if someone lives with you & establishes residency (i.e. their clothes are in the house, personal belongings) you must go down to the magistrate and file an 30 day eviction notice. However, if they WILLINGLY leave and their personal belongings are NO LONGER in the house, they NO LONGER LEGALLY live there so you could change the locks. I don't know if it varies from state to state. You may want to call your local police department and check into this. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 I moved out and my exh asked for my key back after we separated. I know that I didn't have to give it to him but I did- he didn't have a key to my place! What's wrong with people??? Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie I moved out and my exh asked for my key back after we separated. I know that I didn't have to give it to him but I did- he didn't have a key to my place! What's wrong with people??? This is exactly what my friend told me too. My stbxh has full access to HIS place, and mine, where I would not have any place for my own. This is another reason why I changed the locks. Plus, her ex would show up and start taking the appliances w/o telling her. WTF, it's a bloody toaster. Here's $30, go buy a new one and leave me alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RACHDY Posted June 3, 2005 Author Share Posted June 3, 2005 We'll I live in CA so from what I understand I can't change the locks. I have made a appointment with a lawyer for Wed. I hope I can hang on till then We tried marriage couseling but he quit early - and if he wasn't going to be honest what's the point. He said the counsler was not tough enough for him. (I know - what a freak) He is partying down and wants the kids and I on stand by in case he decides to play Dad for the day. I am going for sole custody - they want to be with me only - I never thought I would be divorced after 17 years - I am sad and yet excited - I could have a whole new life! He has taken all the toys (motorcycles etc) and power tools when I was at work. hmmm - what if a stranger tried to break in? I would have to change the locks right? Link to post Share on other sites
debilou Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Good luck, long road ahead. I'm in Florida. I can't change the locks until we go to court to ask the judge to restrict his rights. He has his own home but it's completely legal for him to come in anytime and take anything~community property or some non sense. Oh well! I filed for divorce 3 weeks ago but haven't gotten the paperwork needed for him to be served. I really don't want a divorce but I had to make a statement. I won't share him with OW! ! ! We're both in individual counseling. No telling what will happen next. But I get a little stronger every day! Debilou Link to post Share on other sites
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