anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Yesterday was the first bad day I've had in the past month. We broke up two months ago, and 4 weeks NC. It started the previous night when the girl I'd be flirting with stopped messaging me back (it was my fault, I kind of purposefully friend zoned myself). I knew it was probably over and she wouldn't text me the next morning, which made me miss the comfort of my ex. I dozed off and ended up having a long awful dream about how she wanted me back and kept trying to hold my hand. I told her no I don't want to be with her but she kept trying and it felt so good, like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The whole day after I woke up was just awful because I allowed it to be. I sat in bed all day and thought about her. I regretfully looked through her Facebook page, which hadn't been updated since we split, but I still saw her face for the first time in weeks and it made me remember how pretty she is. At one point I decided I needed to start doing things, but even still I was just going through the motions of my day while allowing myself to think about her. To make matters worse, at the gym, I purposefully selected the playlist of love songs she made for me while we were dating, and I did my best to not sob in public. I went home and got in bed and just thought about her and cried. Something inside me told me just to embrace the sadness and my morbid curiosity wouldn't let me turn away. I haven't cried since the week we broke up! The only thoughts I've had of her over the past month have been quick forgettable blips, and she never lingered in my mind. I thought I was healed and would soon be walking going whole days without the though of her in my mind. So my question is do you ever have that day a couple months down the road where the thought of your ex just hits you like a ton of bricks? How do you cope with that? Do you ever dwell on it like I did? Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 I think you answered your own question. Your distraction (new flirt) went away. That made you miss your ex. Much like a bad date or rebound ending would for both parties. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 I think you answered your own question. Your distraction (new flirt) went away. That made you miss your ex. Much like a bad date or rebound ending would for both parties. I guess that's kind of what I figured. I know more serious relationship rebounds are frowned upon because you're going to end up hurting someone other than just yourself, but is a simple flirt over text/snapchat something to avoid in the future until I'm totally healed? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpendableYouth Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 I dwell...I am a DWELLER. It's rough....I always wonder if I'm the only one remembering these things (Probably). Link to post Share on other sites
wellthatslife Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 You know what your doing wrong. Your allowing yourself to dwell, and by doing so you are allowing yourself to hurt, to sob, to feel sorry for yourself and cry. This isnt gonna help you heal and move on. Dont dwell in the past. Try and do your best to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Nickr3023 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 I had the SAME EXACT thing happen to me. I was talking to a girl about a month after my breakup, and it felt good to have a distraction....she ended things one night, I happened to be near my ex's house and I drove by and knocked on her door. It was out of depression and desperation to feel something again. I went there and it was just cold and bitter for both of us. It was the first time we had spoken to each other in that month. We haven't spoken since and I hope to not do that again. But yeah, it's normal to have those days where you just feel overwhelmed. It's all a part of the process of healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunlight72 Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I don't know (or don't care) the 'best' thing to do, but yes, I had a rough day yesterday. 3 1/2 months after breaking up after 4 years together. She's wonderful, we're a great fit, but I'm not in love with her two children and so we split it off, pretty mutually. Saw her yesterday, and it feels very much like we are mates, and I really miss sharing our lives. I have a new girlfriend, who is great and positive and generally keeps me as distracted as I want to be which is a Much Better situation for me than I've had in any previous break up.... but I'm still missing my ex and sad we're not building our lives together. Link to post Share on other sites
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