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Ended relationships with my parents because of this girl

peruano99

By peruano99,
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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peruano99

peruano99

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I'll be visiting this girl who i care deeply about soon, but the only problem is it cut my relationship with my parents because they just want to control me. I live separate from them, but they don't realize that I am already in my mid 20s and also want to find happiness. I just hope I am making the right decision because pretty much the whole world is against me doing this tbh.

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JamesM

JamesM

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Why is pretty much everyone against you on this one?

 

Not taking sides, but...kinda am....if they all seem to think she isn't the one for you, then maybe is there a possibility that they have an opinion worth looking at?

 

We all need to make our own decisions with the information available to us and we need to make mistakes to learn, but sometimes we do have information available that we ignore because emotions cloud our objectivity.

 

Why do you love her and why do they think she is not for you?

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Mr. Lucky

Mr. Lucky

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We all need to make our own decisions with the information available to us and we need to make mistakes to learn, but sometimes we do have information available that we ignore because emotions cloud our objectivity.

 

Amen. Both parents and siblings expressed concerns about the up and down nature of the courting relationship with my first wife. Trust me, I could have saved myself a decade of aggravation and heartbreak had I at least been open to their input.

 

Don't let them make the decision for you but at least listen to and think about what they have to say...

 

Mr. Lucky

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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I'll be visiting this girl who i care deeply about soon, but the only problem is it cut my relationship with my parents because they just want to control me. I live separate from them, but they don't realize that I am already in my mid 20s and also want to find happiness. I just hope I am making the right decision because pretty much the whole world is against me doing this tbh.

 

If you are not even dating this girl, it seems like a rash decision to cut ties with your family over her. She's not even really part of your life.

 

 

If you needed to assert your independence from your family for other reasons, fine.

 

 

Make your own way in life. Find things that fulfill you & go from there.

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BettyDraper

BettyDraper

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If you have to end family relationships to stay with a girlfriend, the emotional cost to you is far too high and there's something wrong.

 

I believe in adults keeping their own counsel. However, if many of your loved ones have the same concerns about someone that you are with, you may want to take heed even if you ultimately make your own decision.

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Art_Critic

Art_Critic

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I'm with JamesM on this one...

 

I'm in my lower 50's and have had a few GF's and an Exwife too but only one set of parents...

 

The old GF's or Exwife I no longer speak to but my Mom I spent Christmas with and it was just awesome..

 

You might want to rethink this....

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Clockwork

Clockwork

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If there are people that are programmed to have unconditional love for you it is your parents. Unless you had a poor relationship with them where they have mistreated you or done other things selfishly and have never cared for you in the past I think you should listen to them. Parents are the least likely ones that would have any sort of agenda against you.

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peruano99

peruano99

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Hm well it's not because of this girl that I had problems with my parents. It's constant, constant problems with them in the past. I am going to start a new life away and hope the best for them. I just can't be with them anymore.

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Ms. Faust

Ms. Faust

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Hm well it's not because of this girl that I had problems with my parents...

 

The title of the thread is "ended relationships with my parents because of this girl".:confused:

 

You need to divulge more details if you are looking for decent advice.

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Winterina

Winterina

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Mother of my ex was a manipulative lying woman who controlled him in a very specific way all his life and tried to cause tensions between us. His sister hated me without ever having met me - for no reason at all. She never had a friend for longer than a year. His mum drunk while pregnant and made choices that suited her and not her kids.

 

Yeah, sometimes, family will really ruin your life. And sometimes you have to choose what is best for you and if it is a mistake it is YOUR mistake and you will learn from it.

Often families forbid someone to have a relationship or openly do not approve of it because of the colour of their skin, because of their social status, because THEY do not like the person...

 

My mum never interfered into my life and my choices. I am eternally grateful to her for being so great and open minded and for letting me go to live my own life. I have done really well for myself and am extremely capable because of the way she raised me and later because of the way she treated me - as an adult. She treated my partners really politely even when she did not like them knowing how much trouble they were causing me. She knew it is my life and my journey and my choice to make.

 

So, OP, do what YOU want and need to do. If it turns out to be a mistake, it is totally fine. You will learn something from it and it will just make you a human. We ALL made many mistakes. That is how life works.

 

I do see that your breaking up with your parents have nothing to do with her. Do not let them control you. You are right to do this as parents often screw up their children... even when they mean well. Often they can be just selfish. They are people after all and most of the people suck.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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peruano99

peruano99

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The title of the thread is "ended relationships with my parents because of this girl".:confused:

 

You need to divulge more details if you are looking for decent advice.

 

Thanks. I already made up my mind, but thank you everyone for the advice.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Hm well it's not because of this girl that I had problems with my parents. It's constant, constant problems with them in the past. I am going to start a new life away and hope the best for them. I just can't be with them anymore.

 

In my 20s I had a huge blow out with my mom & didn't talk to my family for almost 2 years.

 

Moving out & asserting my independence, albeit rather dramatically, re-shaped my interactions with my parents. When I had my own apartment to retreat to & was fully financially independent from them, it helped us to grow together as adults, which served me well. I wish you the best.

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