flowerlion Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 I don't understand the need for my husband need to talk with his ex-wife on a regular basis.. i would understand if there kids were young but they are all over 21. There has been things said that was personal in nature to me and had no reason for hus ex to know with in 5 minutes of the situation. . Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 What types of topics does he contact her for? I agree that that is odd that he speaks to her since the kids are grown. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 What reason does your husband give? Link to post Share on other sites
Author flowerlion Posted January 5, 2016 Author Share Posted January 5, 2016 He tends to tell her Everything that is going on, what he been doing around the house and work, to things about me and my family.. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 He tends to tell her Everything that is going on, what he been doing around the house and work, to things about me and my family.. Wouldn't work for me. How often is a "regular basis"? And what discussion have you had with him about this? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 He tends to tell her Everything that is going on, what he been doing around the house and work, to things about me and my family.. This isn't normal and this needs to end. Does he still have feelings for her hoping that they will get back together someday? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 I've seen exes go both ways. I don't think one is more normal or not. I know one person and his mom and her husband's ex wife are friends and they frequently have family gatherings. One guy I dated gave his ex wife rides to the airport. Does he seem to enforce reasonable boundaries with her? Are there things would would want off limits? Do you have any issues with him flirting or inappropriate behavior? Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 I'm still in fairly frequent contact with my ex we parted as friends. That said, I don't tell her all the aspects or goings on of my life (she gave up that right when we decided to divorce) , and I'd never dream of telling her what's going on in my current relationship. Never.Ever. I've got no problem with someone being friendly with their ex, more people should try it actually . However, if it bothers you that he talks to her as often as he does, or for that matter at all, he needs to put you and your feelings first. You are his wife, she is his EX. He needs to get his priorities straight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 If the kids are grown, they really don't need a WHOLE lot of time talking to each other. Things can pop up with the kids, I am not saying they only speak at weddings and funerals from here on in, things can pop up in the lives of the kids that the mother and father might need to discuss, that's fine, and you should always remain civil that way but that's where it ends I think. He gave up being her best friend when they got a divorce. He should be yours now and there should be an implication of privacy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flowerlion Posted January 24, 2016 Author Share Posted January 24, 2016 regular basis is almost daily. i spoke to him several times about having so much contact with her.. i understand it if its a kid thing but daily life on goings seems to much for me.. Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 regular basis is almost daily. i spoke to him several times about having so much contact with her.. i understand it if its a kid thing but daily life on goings seems to much for me.. So put your foot down. Tell him being friendly with his ex is fine, but that you are not going to stand for him telling her intimate details of your relationship or family life and that if this kind of thing continues, he'll have 2 ex wives. Back when DH and I were dating, he was still friendly with his ex. He'd tell her about our lives, etc. When I found out, I explained to him that his ex was not my friend, that I did NOT want him talking to her about me, our relationship, our life together, or anything else that has to do with me and mine in any way. A year later, I explained to him that I couldn't choose his friends, but I could choose whether or not I'd be with him and that if he was going to continue the friendship, I'd be leaving the relationship. He hasn't spoken to her since. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 I don't understand the need for my husband need to talk with his ex-wife on a regular basis.. i would understand if there kids were young but they are all over 21. There has been things said that was personal in nature to me and had no reason for hus ex to know with in 5 minutes of the situation. . The only time my H spoke to his xW since leaving her was once, to tell her not to call him ever again but to address all further communication in writing through his lawyer. I probably spoke to my xH less than half a dozen times since we split - the kids were still tiny, back then. So no, there really is no _need_ to speak to an X, especially if the kids are grown. So he's choosing to. And, if he knows it upsets you, his choosing to ignore your feelings about this. If my H or anyone else treated me with so little consideration, I'd be out of there. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Why should he stop? You allow it. He's getting his needs met by TWO women. Until you decide you're done and move on. At which point he MAY be ready to give her up. But don't count on it. Link to post Share on other sites
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