Trauma_Luna Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 I knew her because she was good friend of my ex-girlfriend, but soon we became like best friends. My ex was always jealous of her but we always managed our relationship as friendly. The thing is that i started to like her a year ago, months after i broke up with my ex. I knew i was the most friendzoned guy in the world and that should never try to make a move. But we hang out a lot and she started to hint stuff to me, things like "I can't believe how such a great boyfriend like you can't be with such a great girlfriend like me". "I never date my friends, but i would totally date with you". "I don't know why, but you're the only person that makes me feel so comfortable". Having all those hints coming from her i thought, "well, there's must be a chance after all.." So three days ago i told her of my feelings. She was so surprised and said "I can't be with you because of reasons, i feel bad dating you because your ex used to be my friend, i also think neither you or i have totally moved on from our former relationships, and sorry for telling you this, but i think we won't be able to keep our friendship after this, i won't be able to see you as a friend anymore". I was really shocked but i told her i respect her choice. The day after that we didn't speak i thought she didn't want to speak with me anymore. But then she sent a text "Hey hello, how are you?". We have been chatting normally since then. I really want to try again... what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 You could try again - if you're a glutton for punishment. If I were you, I'd back away. Or at the very least, ask her why she said all that stuff if she had no intention of dating. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 You could try again - if you're a glutton for punishment. If I were you, I'd back away. Or at the very least, ask her why she said all that stuff if she had no intention of dating. Definitely you must ask her why she said all that stuff making you think you had a shot at her. Then after you get your answer try one more time then tell her you can not be friends with a woman that you want to date then say your good bye and close with if she changes her mind about dating you then you would be glad to her form her again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie123 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 You told her how you feel now back off and give her some space to think about it and process it. Don't stop how you guys interact with each other, keep it normal. You never know, in a week or two she might be on the same page as you. But don't push it again or you'll end up making her uncomfortable, making it awkward for both of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 This absolutely totally confirms what I constantly say on here (and elsewhere) about platonic relationships. Ladies are fab at it. Masters of the Art. They could be platonic with casanova at the drop of a hat. Guys? Unless they're gay or asexual, they're rubbish at it. Because predictably, there comes a moment (as has been the case here) where they start seeing their platonic GF in an 'horizontal' way.... Sadly, the reason she is now back in touch with you is because she obviously likes you as a friend, and wants to keep you, but is confident you've got the message, and that having laid it out so clearly, in "black and white" as it were, you're perfectly comfortable to accept her decision, and so it's all systems back on line then.... Do NOT try again. It will exasperate her, and then you'll be shunned for a lot longer.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 She said no. And she's a better person for having done so. Now she's just taking your temperature to see if you can be friends or not. If you are hung up on her at all, you cannot. But if you are going to try to be friends, stop trying to sleep with her. Link to post Share on other sites
KaiKass01 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 This absolutely totally confirms what I constantly say on here (and elsewhere) about platonic relationships. Ladies are fab at it. Masters of the Art. They could be platonic with casanova at the drop of a hat. Guys? Unless they're gay or asexual, they're rubbish at it. Because predictably, there comes a moment (as has been the case here) where they start seeing their platonic GF in an 'horizontal' way.... Sadly, the reason she is now back in touch with you is because she obviously likes you as a friend, and wants to keep you, but is confident you've got the message, and that having laid it out so clearly, in "black and white" as it were, you're perfectly comfortable to accept her decision, and so it's all systems back on line then.... Do NOT try again. It will exasperate her, and then you'll be shunned for a lot longer.... Well now, wait a minute. guys can be excellent at platonic relationships...I mean provided he doesn't find the girl attractive. The "When Harry Met Sally" rule always applies. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Well now, wait a minute. guys can be excellent at platonic relationships...I mean provided he doesn't find the girl attractive. The "When Harry Met Sally" rule always applies. Hang on a minute - let's take a look at what you're saying here.... A guy can only be a platonic friend to a girl he considers plain, unattractive or even ugly....? But if she IS attractive -then she can't be a platonic friend, because naturally he's going to want to make out with her....? I rest my case..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 (edited) Hang on a minute - let's take a look at what you're saying here.... A guy can only be a platonic friend to a girl he considers plain, unattractive or even ugly....? But if she IS attractive -then she can't be a platonic friend, because naturally he's going to want to make out with her....? I rest my case..... In that movie Harry also added when telling that to Sally that even the ones that are not that good looking men are going to want to eventually date. I never needed hence never wanted a friend that was a girl. Time is never something to waste. This is why most men spend their time looking for a woman that will be their girl friend. Not a woman to just be a friend. No romance no point. Having a woman as a friend to talk about cars or work on them, or go hunting or fishing does nothing to enhance those activities. People tend to forget basic biology. The male always goes after the female. Deer hunters know that the buck always goes after the doe. You watch TV shows on animals in the wild. When you get to their mating it is always the male competing to see who gets the female. Some species, penguins if I remember correctly. After the males spar the female then picks the one see wants. I applaud every man that asks out a girl that he likes. For if she tells him get lost he is still in the same place he was before. However eventually one that he likes will say yes to him. Without asking he never will get a yes. Man up and don't let the no's hold you back. Edited January 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 In that movie Harry also added when telling that to Sally that even the ones that are not that good looking men are going to want to eventually date. I never needed hence never wanted a friend that was a girl. Time is never something to waste. This is why most men spend their time looking for a woman that will be their girl friend. Not a woman to just be a friend. No romance no point. Having a woman as a friend to talk about cars or work on them, or go hunting or fishing does nothing to enhance those activities. People tend to forget basic biology. The male always goes after the female. Deer hunters know that the buck always goes after the doe. You watch TV shows on animals in the wild. When you get to their mating it is always the male competing to see who gets the female. Some species, penguins if I remember correctly. After the males spar the female then picks the one see wants. I applaud every man that asks out a girl that he likes. For if she tells him get lost he is still in the same place he was before. However eventually one that he likes will say yes to him. Without asking he never will get a yes. Man up and don't let the no's hold you back. Yeah, but the girl he wants, has said no. And she still obviously wants to be a friend.... You handily leave out the female-human dynamic of companionship. Why is it that women are perfectly capable then, of being in a platonic relationship? I have one - two, once, and I have a couple of girlfriends who also enjoy a platonic relationship with guys who are very happy to just be friends. Why do you think this works? And how? Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 ... ...she started to hint stuff to me, things like "I can't believe how such a great boyfriend like you can't be with such a great girlfriend like me". "I never date my friends, but i would totally date with you". "I don't know why, but you're the only person that makes me feel so comfortable". ... The vast majority of times, women who say things like this have already firmly exiled you to the friendzone, from which there is no escape. She's simply trying to be a supportive friend. You can ask her out again, and she might actually say yes, but unfortunately it's not the way to bet... Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 This absolutely totally confirms what I constantly say on here (and elsewhere) about platonic relationships. Ladies are fab at it. Masters of the Art. They could be platonic with casanova at the drop of a hat. Guys? Unless they're gay or asexual, they're rubbish at it. Because predictably, there comes a moment (as has been the case here) where they start seeing their platonic GF in an 'horizontal' way.... It has little to do with women being "masters" at it. Males simply have zero interest in being mere "friends" with women they wouldn't rather be banging. Men being "rubbish" at it is merely a function of women not clearly understanding the simple reality above. One need only look at the website Pinterest to confirm as much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Yeah, but the girl he wants, has said no. And she still obviously wants to be a friend.... You handily leave out the female-human dynamic of companionship. Why is it that women are perfectly capable then, of being in a platonic relationship? I have one - two, once, and I have a couple of girlfriends who also enjoy a platonic relationship with guys who are very happy to just be friends. Why do you think this works? And how? Platonic does not work for men. We want the whole woman. Half works with a loaf of bread. So she says no again. Then he knows he gave it his best shot and can foogit aboot her and set his sights on a new target. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Platonic does not work for men. We want the whole woman. Half works with a loaf of bread. So she says no again. Then he knows he gave it his best shot and can foogit aboot her and set his sights on a new target. Oh, Pullease. "Men want the whole woman?" Uh, no. Men just want the woman's whole body. Few of them have the patience to actually take on "the whole woman," you know, ones who like to have heart-to-heart talks and have a "whole" relationship. If they found much value in the rest of the woman and not just what her body can do to their penis, a lot more of them could be platonic friends. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Oh, Pullease. "Men want the whole woman?" Uh, no. Men just want the woman's whole body. Few of them have the patience to actually take on "the whole woman," you know, ones who like to have heart-to-heart talks and have a "whole" relationship. If they found much value in the rest of the woman and not just what her body can do to their penis, a lot more of them could be platonic friends. Oh puuuuuuulllllleeeeaaase women want to have string of men to use for emotional support. That is women using men. Real Men want the whole woman not just a female body to masturbate with. They do not need to hear or want to hear them PMS how their BF is not treating them right, I've got a big date coming so I need to know does this dress make my butt look big, how they can't find a good man, blah, blah, blah, blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 No, it's women being women because they have emotions and feelings. And they usually dump men who can't at least pretend to care. Link to post Share on other sites
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