babybrowneyez Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 I have a close group of friends and one of them is a single guy who works with me. I have tried to set him up with some of my single girl friends too but no good match yet. He is an awesome person and we always have so much fun together in and out of work. We sometimes go to a hangout to have a few drinks after work with other coworkers. Sometimes my husband comes too when we can find a babysitter for my 2 year old. Recently we have all gone on skiing trips with some of my other friends. I enjoy his friendship but I'm afraid he may have feelings for me. I wasn't worried until the last time we hung out after work. We were sitting close to each other by the campfire and he put his arm around my shoulder and was sort of massaging my shoulder. And kept it there for about half an hour. He also said he was glad I came out and always enjoys spending time with me. It was sort of difficult to look at him since we were so close because I felt he was going to make a move. I finally got the nerve to go to the bathroom and leave and then we said goodbye and hugged. That was the first time we hugged as well. I am not a hugging person.... Or do well with that sort of physical affection with a friend. Am I paranoid for thinking this meant he has feelings for me or naive for ignoring it? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Am I paranoid for thinking this meant he has feelings for me or naive for ignoring it? Yes, him putting his arm around you and keeping it there for half an hour probably means he has some sort of romantic feelings for you. But the real reason I wanted to reply to your post was to tell you that there was absolutely no good reason for sitting there for half an hour feeling uncomfortable with what was happening. You very well could have removed his arm from around you or shimmied out from under it or simply said, "Hey, don't do that." Any of those would have been acceptable responses from you. Don't let people do things that make you feel uncomfortable. You have a voice and an opinion and you shouldn't be afraid to use them. As for the hugging - if he goes in for a hug again, you can say, "Sorry, I'm not a hugging type of person. Shake hands?" And I would stop trying to hook him up with friends or getting too personal. It's probably best that you keep a distance from him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Terry8889 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Next time it happens remove yourself from the situation being casual, try to distance from him physically when he is around. But I am not sure about his real interest tons though. I have good male friends who hug me, put their arm around me, even had holded hands but they never meant anything by it they were just being friendly, they had no romantic interest. Maybe the guy sees you as a very close friend and feels comfortable with you. I would give him the benefit of the doubt but as I said next time just make an excuse to get up and leave to the bathroom, etc. Or tell him you're not a hugging person and it makes you feel weird. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 OMG, no, you're not imagining things. He is totally trying to horn in on you in the sneakiest way possible, by pretending to be friends and then using any excuse to touch you. You will probably have to leave him behind because from now on, it's always going to be awkward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pro100pk2 Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 no need to be paranoid trust people Link to post Share on other sites
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