Should I give up on him FWB LDR

[madison1]

Hi everyone get ready!

I have been dating this guy but it seems more like friends with benefits.

 

he told me it could not be anything serious.I went to see him because he had to move. he does tell me he loves and misses me.. I don't understand his actions. He also finds it okay to call other girls hot in front of me, he's standoffish in public with me, and i feel like he doesn't know how to treat me.

 

Is it because he never saw this as serious? this last time i went to see him, i was texting another guy and he glanced at my phone and said who is that. i told him no one and he got upset . he wanted to know detailed information about the guy. Now he's the one that told me i need to see other people. now that i have been trying to talk to other guys we got back to the apartment he wouldn't get near me. He told me that he hasn't been with another girl since he's been with me.

 

i had to tell him it wasn't a big deal between me and the other guy “bob". now that i came back home he would text me he miss me and loves me but he hasn't texted or called me like usual since he is currently moving the other state. i feel like if you say you love someone you should show it through little things.

 

I haven't told bob that i my vacation was really to see a guy. i went before our first date, so i hope i don't have to tell either of them about each other. should i tell them?

Edited January 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
edited per request ~6

[kendahke]

his actions don't match with his word. He also finds it okay to call other girls hot in front of me, he's standoffish in public with me, and i feel like he doesn't know how to treat me. Is it because he never saw this as serious?

Did he know how to treat you before he moved?

 

he warned me that he would be moving away so he couldn't commit to anything serious

IF this is the case, then this:

his last time i went to see him, i was texting another guy while he was walking his dog and he glanced at my phone and said who is "bob" for example. i told him no one and he got upset he wanted to know how old bob was, if he went to school with me how did i meet him, and where did he work. Know he's the one that told me i need to sleep with other people besides him.

is some silly drama. He can't have it both ways. Either you are free to date and entertain other guys or he learns how to treat you like you're his woman--meaning, he's not standoff-ish in public, he doesn't call other girls "hot" in front of you and he treats you like he's your man.

 

Seriously though, LDR's when you've never really spent substantial time with one another before the move is a bad idea. You end up building an artificial construct around them and fall in love with your idea of them and not who they really are.

 

My advice would be to step back from him and turn your attention towards men who live near you and can spend in-person time with you. This thing with the LDR guy fizzled as soon as he got to Cali.

Edited January 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
redacted location information ~6

[ExpatInItaly]

Don't bother continuing this long-distance FWB. It's obviously not very satisfying and not really going anywhere. Why waste your time on that? I find it hard to believe he hasn't been with anyone besides you for a year now when he's on the other side of the country. Sorry, don't buy it.

 

It's none of his business who you date, so please don't go divulging details about "Bob" to him. I'd say at this point you don't need to tell Bob who you visited. But if you continue seeing each other and for some reason you decide to visit the first guy again, you need to at least clue him in that you are not exclusive. However, as stated before, I would advise against trying to keep this thing going. Doesn't seem worth it.

[Lordsnow]

my advice if you want a serious relationship with this guy is be honest tell him what you want and ask him what he wants if it's not something that satisfies you..move on