S2B Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 You could state clearly to him that you intend to file harassment charges if he sends you any more correspondence. It's not an accident! He gets an ego feed knowing that it causes you to think of him when his email appears - and he's hoping you step in by saying you miss him. He's looking to see if you respond kindly... Waiting for a day when you might miss him. Stay strong! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Liam1 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Lostcase: I would say this is most likely an error. It happens. I have large hands and when testing or using my contact list or even emailing a contact at work, if one name is near another and looks similar I may accidentally hit it. I had my OWs name in my contact list for awhile after the affair was ended, but it was simply apathy. I simply never really took the time to delete it. I really don't go through my email or phone contact list to often and rarely clean out old contacts. I never accidentally called or texted or emailed her, but I have done it with other contacts and I can see how it can very easily happen. Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Ì'm not sure if you have gmail, but you could set up the 'I'm on vacation' automatic responder, but then instead delete the 'I'm on vacation' message and replace it by a fake mailer daemon (just copy one). If you do this, you have to make sure that he is the only one in your Address Book just so he'll be the only one who gets this fake mailer daemon :/. Very clever! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 27, 2016 Author Share Posted January 27, 2016 Lostcase: I would say this is most likely an error. It happens. I have large hands and when testing or using my contact list or even emailing a contact at work, if one name is near another and looks similar I may accidentally hit it. I had my OWs name in my contact list for awhile after the affair was ended, but it was simply apathy. I simply never really took the time to delete it. I really don't go through my email or phone contact list to often and rarely clean out old contacts. I never accidentally called or texted or emailed her, but I have done it with other contacts and I can see how it can very easily happen. I hear ya, but giving the situation, I would think after sending "error 1 & 2" he would of taken steps to make sure it didn't happen again?? I can be honest and say for all I was heartbroken I removed everything to do with him, it's part of moving on? And to stop me from doing exactly what he has done 4 times now. Yes it is easy to hit the wrong name but if a genuine error you would triple check where your mails were going to every time you sent one "incase" and you wouldn't want to look an arse? Xx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 27, 2016 Author Share Posted January 27, 2016 Ì'm not sure if you have gmail, but you could set up the 'I'm on vacation' automatic responder, but then instead delete the 'I'm on vacation' message and replace it by a fake mailer daemon (just copy one). If you do this, you have to make sure that he is the only one in your Address Book just so he'll be the only one who gets this fake mailer daemon :/. I like this!! Unfortunately though it's not gmail xx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 I would think you could mark his email address to go straight to the trash folder so you don't have to see it... I think you can flag it that way in your settings...? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Have you followed up on anyones suggestions and implemented anything or is your curiosity peaked as to what he might do next? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 Have you followed up on anyones suggestions and implemented anything or is your curiosity peaked as to what he might do next? Just home so after dinner I'm going to look at the settings. Everybody's advice has been a good help. I am a bit curious to be honest, can't see him doing anything more than hiding behind a file lol. X Link to post Share on other sites
Liam1 Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 I hear ya, but giving the situation, I would think after sending "error 1 & 2" he would of taken steps to make sure it didn't happen again?? I can be honest and say for all I was heartbroken I removed everything to do with him, it's part of moving on? And to stop me from doing exactly what he has done 4 times now. Yes it is easy to hit the wrong name but if a genuine error you would triple check where your mails were going to every time you sent one "incase" and you wouldn't want to look an arse? Xx Maybe he is busy and distracted, and meant to remove it, but removing it was not priority and he simply forgot. You made a point to remove him because you were heartbroken and you were trying to heal and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Just home so after dinner I'm going to look at the settings. Everybody's advice has been a good help. I am a bit curious to be honest, can't see him doing anything more than hiding behind a file lol. X I know. In a strange way its almost the same as contact ie. Its a "hit" and stirring up emotion every time. Because be honest (no judgement) if you truly wanted nc and to move on you would have blocked him and checked those settings or said "please stop sending these" after the 1st time. These are games from him and I feel he might go further somehow since your not biting. You might want to think harder how you will proceed as you may not be done with it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
imsosad Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 I think he's playing you. He knows you are not with your husband,he's hoping you are volnurable and receptive towards some tlc from him. Think how well it will work out for him if you do go back. He has his wife at home,you available on the side. So many A seem to be about falling in love but at the end of the day,it seems to me that the women-single or married-are really in love and looking to form a true R,while the men for the most part are cake eating. Yours sounds like a classic cake eater. Mine was too.i know it sucks. Do not be tempted to respond. Block him,mark his address as spam,change emails,anything. Dont have this trigger waiting to happen.he's baiting you,dont bite. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Its a slap in the face he left you heartbroken but is too proud or cowardly not sure which, to form a true email to you if he was going to break no contact. You showed class to respect his wishes and marriage and he is showing he has no respect to let you heal. Even his nonchalant "oh gee thanks" casual reply I found to be heartless as here you have an xAp that even after being thrown out like trash pays a nice gesture of a polite response back for the sake of your job and you don't even have the decency to treat her any different or better than a mere "oh thanks" What a joke. Let him have his ego so crushed and bruised from dead silence cause this is cruel what he is doing. Its very calculated. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 29, 2016 Author Share Posted January 29, 2016 Its a slap in the face he left you heartbroken but is too proud or cowardly not sure which, to form a true email to you if he was going to break no contact. You showed class to respect his wishes and marriage and he is showing he has no respect to let you heal. Even his nonchalant "oh gee thanks" casual reply I found to be heartless as here you have an xAp that even after being thrown out like trash pays a nice gesture of a polite response back for the sake of your job and you don't even have the decency to treat her any different or better than a mere "oh thanks" What a joke. Let him have his ego so crushed and bruised from dead silence cause this is cruel what he is doing. Its very calculated. Yes it's cruel and heartless. To be honest the more he sends "work stuff" the more he is pissing me off lol. So maybe doing me a favour lol. I won't be responding as he has gave me nothing to respond to. Thanks for your reply you wrote just what I was thinking xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 29, 2016 Author Share Posted January 29, 2016 Its a slap in the face he left you heartbroken but is too proud or cowardly not sure which, to form a true email to you if he was going to break no contact. You showed class to respect his wishes and marriage and he is showing he has no respect to let you heal. Even his nonchalant "oh gee thanks" casual reply I found to be heartless as here you have an xAp that even after being thrown out like trash pays a nice gesture of a polite response back for the sake of your job and you don't even have the decency to treat her any different or better than a mere "oh thanks" What a joke. Let him have his ego so crushed and bruised from dead silence cause this is cruel what he is doing. Its very calculated. I agree with you full heartedly here, I defo not responding, he gave me nothing to respond to. Xx Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted January 29, 2016 Share Posted January 29, 2016 I hear ya, but giving the situation, I would think after sending "error 1 & 2" he would of taken steps to make sure it didn't happen again?? I can be honest and say for all I was heartbroken I removed everything to do with him, it's part of moving on? And to stop me from doing exactly what he has done 4 times now. Yes it is easy to hit the wrong name but if a genuine error you would triple check where your mails were going to every time you sent one "incase" and you wouldn't want to look an arse? Xx And yet YOU haven't taken the very SIMPLE step of blocking his email address. It can be done at the server or a simple rule made in your email program to automatically delete any mail coming from that email address. You've chosen not to do that very SIMPLE thing and have instead, posted in the hopes of everyone telling you it's a 'sign' from him. If you truly didn't care, this 5 page thread wouldn't exist. At least own it. Link to post Share on other sites
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