Is she genuine? Or a gold digger

January 6, 2016

Do you ever just tell her NO? Like if she wants you to buy her clothes and sh*t, say "no I'm sorry"...what does she say in response? Stop taking her to fancy dinners, say you feel like staying in or sorry it's not in the budget at the moment.

The thing is she doesn't always directly ask.

With things like groceries, we will get stuff that we need for the time that we spend together. but she will add in her extra things and stand away when it comes time to pay. So I end up paying, then a few minutes later she'll say thank you for buying the groceries.

With the makeup stuff she will ask if we can go to the mall. And then when we get there say things like "I don't get paid until next week so, you will need to cover it" knowing that I probably won't refuse after we've driven all the way down there.

she'll also say things like she doesn't have a Paypal account so can she use mine.

It's only recently that she's actually had the balls to ask me to buy her things. I agreed to get her some things but not everything

January 6, 2016

She's conditioning you. She's played this game before. You are just her current sucker.

Be very careful. As soon as guy with more money comes along & pays attention to her, she will dump you.

January 6, 2016

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't tolerate her behavior. I'm involved with a man currently who makes significantly more than I do, and I would never dream of asking him to buy things for me. I buy my own cosmetics/toiletries/etc. We split the check when we go out to eat together. The only thing he's purchased for me was a pair of slippers as my Christmas present.

So...yeah, I'd say no more - if you don't get paid until Friday, you wait until Friday to buy your makeup, and maybe think about budgeting your money better. And if it kept up, I'd break up with her.

January 6, 2016

I can't add a lot, just that no matter what you call it, it doesn't sound very nice.

I have never had a problem with paying for dates and gifts, but those have been my only expenses in a relationship. And I controlled those things, meaning, I decided what we were doing and what gift I was buying.

As far as I'm concerned a woman should buy her own personal items and her own day-to-day up keep. As a man, that is your best indicator of a woman is going to be good steward of family funds is to watch how well she handles herself while you're dating. At this point your girlfriend is getting an "F".

If you balk, she will likely hit you with a bunch of "gentleman", "chivalry", "tradition", and "provider" whooey, but you have every right to decide when and where your money is spent. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated by that nonesense, it will make you bitter.

January 6, 2016

People have given you good advice so far, the one strange thing that stuck out to me that no one mentioned was, you start the story by saying you are dating this woman and she is your physical type...and that's pretty much all in the way of what you like about her. Oh and she serves you. Okay....

What else is there in the relationship? How did you meet? Why did you choose to be with her?

I think this matters, as if the relationship is mostly superficial, you like how she looks, then maybe it is the same for her where she figures the point of a bf is to have someone who buys things for you and in return he thinks you look good and are arm candy and you make him meals. If you've never discussed what you both want and expect out of a relationship then this very well may be what is going on. I suggest you figure out what else about her you like besides she is your physical type and serves you food at 5am and maybe those deeper talks will open the door for understanding how she sees you and if this can go anywhere.

January 7, 2016

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't tolerate her behavior. I'm involved with a man currently who makes significantly more than I do, and I would never dream of asking him to buy things for me. I buy my own cosmetics/toiletries/etc. We split the check when we go out to eat together. The only thing he's purchased for me was a pair of slippers as my Christmas present.

So...yeah, I'd say no more - if you don't get paid until Friday, you wait until Friday to buy your makeup, and maybe think about budgeting your money better. And if it kept up, I'd break up with her.

LOL.

If he makes significantly more than you, and still wants to split the check then he's a cheap skate and a tight ass.

Real men treat their women to dinners. Not go 50/50.

Although men shouldn't be expected to buy make up or groceries.

And I definitely insist on paying some ofthe time my bf takes me out..but I like the fact that he strongly prefers to treat me.

I feel if a man is crazy about you, he should WANT to treat you to meals.

Asking to go 50/50 and split checks when he makes significantly more than you isn't romantic or manly.

January 7, 2016

This girl has definitely overstepped the boundaries here.

I only date men who actually prefer to treat their girlfriends to the dates. And you sound on board with that.

So...it's not like you don't like to spoil her. You just prefer to do it on your own terms and you don't respect her due to her entitled attitude.

My own bf told me that in your situation, he'd have told ms to get effed. ..... and my bf loves to spoil me. He even treated me to an expensive skirt, an expensve bag and a 50 dollar dress... the difference is, I never asked him to.

I waited to find a man who WANTED to spoil me. I didn't try and make other men do it when it wasn't what they naturally wanted.

The sad thing is, you sound like you WANT to spoil her on the occasion and occasionally buy her groceries.

It's the fact she expects it that is really unattractive. .......

I never expect it; I need to be spoilt but I wait until a guy naturally is that way AND I occasionally offer to treat him....and I buy ny bf presents that are equally as expensive.

January 7, 2016

You need to communicate with her if you want this to work.

Simply tell her that while you like to spoil her, you don't feel comfortable with her passively asking you to buy her groceries. And the make up thing was just down right rude.

You need to tell her.

And remind her that you do want to spoil her but on your own terms. She isn't going to have to split the bill on dates. If you ask her out you will intend to pay; but you need to voice to her that you would also like HER do do the asking occasionally

Just tell her how you feel.

January 7, 2016

LOL.

If he makes significantly more than you, and still wants to split the check then he's a cheap skate and a tight ass.

Real men treat their women to dinners. Not go 50/50.

Although men shouldn't be expected to buy make up or groceries.

And I definitely insist on paying some ofthe time my bf takes me out..but I like the fact that he strongly prefers to treat me.

I feel if a man is crazy about you, he should WANT to treat you to meals.

Asking to go 50/50 and split checks when he makes significantly more than you isn't romantic or manly.

He never asked me to. I OFFERED, because I don't believe the man should always have to pay for my meals. He's self-employed, and some weeks, he doesn't make as much, and we both believe in equality in relationships. We're happy with the arrangement, and I don't see him as a cheapskate or "tight ass". He more than makes up for it in other ways.

January 7, 2016

This is why I respect proper sugar babies.

At least they're honest about the whole deal.

January 7, 2016

Yes, she's a golddigger. Anytime they flatter the crap out of you and ask you for money, that's someone with a sex worker mentality. It just isn't normal to just verbally tell someone they're SO good looking or SO this or that more than once in a blue moon. No woman I know expects a non-husband man to buy their makeup. I'm afraid if this keeps up, you're just paying for flattery. I'm sure she tells you how you are so deserving of everything and all that. $$$$$ trying to find a sugar daddy, albeit not a very rich one. We all have to start small and work our way up, right?

January 7, 2016

So I've been dating this girl for around 6 months. She is physically my type. But I am still trying to figure her out. She seems a little more higher maintance than I'm used to and she has started asking me for things that she should pay for, like her make up and stuff. She also always expects me to pay for most things like food shopping(we don't live together by the way) and never insists on ever contributing when we go out.

Now I agree that the man should pay for dinner dates most of the time, but I don't like it when women just assume that the guys gonna just pay for everything.

I've never refused to pay because I probably would anyway but I like a balance. With my last long term girlfriend things were different. She got me more expensive birthday and xmas gifts and we would always usually match the value in gifts for each other.

She specifically asked me for a expensive xmas gift that I got her but she only got me a cheap jumper.

And is now asking me to spend more on expensive things in the sales.

I haven't offered to buy her anything she is just now asking me for stuff.

Do you think she is a gold digger based in what I've told you?

And just for the record she tells me how good looking I am a 100000000 times a day wants to be with me all the time and says that she loves me( just thought I'd throw that in there)

What do you all think?

Damn, her attitude is pathetic!

One thing is expecting you to pay for dinner dates. Okay. I expect that from men too.

Another thing is asking you to buy stuff for her. I would never do that to any boyfriend. You're not her father. Tell her you're not a millionaire and that you can't just buy her whatever she wants.

January 7, 2016

With the makeup stuff she will ask if we can go to the mall. And then when we get there say things like "I don't get paid until next week so, you will need to cover it" knowing that I probably won't refuse after we've driven all the way down there.

Ooooh definitely not a good sign. She's demonstrating she's bad at money management and broke as a joke. I would be really careful, as I said earlier she could easily be carrying a lot of debt or at least be looking for someone to elevate her current financial status.

January 7, 2016

So I've been dating this girl for around 6 months. She is physically my type. But I am still trying to figure her out. She seems a little more higher maintance than I'm used to and she has started asking me for things that she should pay for, like her make up and stuff. She also always expects me to pay for most things like food shopping(we don't live together by the way) and never insists on ever contributing when we go out.

Now I agree that the man should pay for dinner dates most of the time, but I don't like it when women just assume that the guys gonna just pay for everything.

I've never refused to pay because I probably would anyway but I like a balance. With my last long term girlfriend things were different. She got me more expensive birthday and xmas gifts and we would always usually match the value in gifts for each other.

She specifically asked me for a expensive xmas gift that I got her but she only got me a cheap jumper.

And is now asking me to spend more on expensive things in the sales.

I haven't offered to buy her anything she is just now asking me for stuff.

Do you think she is a gold digger based in what I've told you?

And just for the record she tells me how good looking I am a 100000000 times a day wants to be with me all the time and says that she loves me( just thought I'd throw that in there)

What do you all think?

Absolutely no, you should not put up with that. If it's bugging you now, wait until you marry her. She sounds like she wants to be a trophy wife.

Even with dinner dates, yeah, I am old fashioned and pay. But after you become exclusive there is no reason she can't treat you once in a while.

It's also lame to talk about the size of the ring her last fiancee bought her.

January 7, 2016

She's after a man to look after her financially. ... that's not to say she doesn't like you..

I knew a girl like this.. her BF bought everything for her..... she was about 8 years younger and very pretty. She felt he got the benefit of a good looking girl who was great in bed. Sounds like your girl.

She always said she'd marry a rich man so she never had to work.. .... and she did. She's got 4 kids. Never worked. .. but has all the latest stuff. . Big house. .. holidays and flash cars.

She expected her man to pay lock stock and barrel. YOUR GF doesn't sound much different.

January 7, 2016

seems like an opportunist with weird boundaries and little girl mentality. i mean, i stopped asking my parents to buy me stuff when i was 19 or so.

i wont lie, i like when a man puts effort and thought in buying me a lovely present and i love when he's eager to spoil me, not only with things but in other ways as well. but i dont ask him to buy me mascara and dresses, wtf. that's kind of cheap :/ btw i buy nice/expensive presents too, it's never one sided.

January 7, 2016

And just for the record she tells me how good looking I am a 100000000 times a day wants to be with me all the time and says that she loves me...

LOL...hell, I'd tell you that a million times a day too if you'll buy my groceires and makeup.

But I do have to tell you that the true definition of a gold digger is a woman who marries a wealthy man for what he can provide. This girl is small-scale, taking you for groceries and makeup.

January 7, 2016

thank you to everyone for all

If your advice. I'll take it all on, but do you think she does really love me? Or is she just running game?

I mean I am a good looking guy. But I am not exaggerating when I say she tells me how good looking I am on average every 15 minutes. It's gone passed the point of even feeling like a complement, because she repeats herself so much. Sometimes she's not even looking at me when she says it.

January 7, 2016

On the plus side she always wants to serve me. She will cook for me at the click of my fingers. Literally! I mean she could be sleeping and I could wake her up at 5am and say I'm hungry and she'll get up and go to the kitchen. She also hand washes my clothing without being asked.

Does that change anything in your eyes?

Depends what you want in a relationship.

She obviously thinks that by doing things for you she is showing her love and by you buying her things is you showing yours.

Talk to her about it.

The extent at which she has your wallet wrapped round her finger is a bit worrisome though. Equally the snapping of the fingers and getting her to do everything is...

January 7, 2016

I've asked her that. And she says she's be happy if I had a low income job. But how do you test if a person is being sincere?

I think you've already determined that she has different beliefs and values than you. The whole point of dating in the first place is to get to know someone and learn if their beliefs and values and mores are compatible with yours. If you can tell that her values differ from your own and she is turning you off, then no further testing is necessary. You already have your answer.

January 7, 2016

Best way to determine if a woman is just trying to use you for money is to stop giving out money. If the money well dries up, but the girl sticks around then you have your answer.

^This^

People keep saying she's entitled. Well..... he entitles her to all this stuff. It's his job to set boundaries and not buy her all this stuff.

January 7, 2016

He never asked me to. I OFFERED, because I don't believe the man should always have to pay for my meals. He's self-employed, and some weeks, he doesn't make as much, and we both believe in equality in relationships. We're happy with the arrangement, and I don't see him as a cheapskate or "tight ass". He more than makes up for it in other ways.

Generosity is a huge deal for me.

If he earns way more than you, I cannot fathom why he doesn't have an innate desire as a man, to treat you when you go for dates.

Don't you jealous knowing other women have men who make way less than your bf and yet are spoilt rotten by their boyfriends?

I got 500 worth of beautiful jewelry after 4 months together for Christmas from my bf. He treats me to nice dresses or bags occasionally when we go shopping.

I feel feminine and desirable when I have a man that just loves to treat me! I am also super generous to him too as much as a student can be haha........

Btw I am in NO way advocating behavior in the OP......but I think you can do better than dating a tight ass. Yes he is a tight ass. Men who get you slippers for xmas and split the check despite their good income, aren't generous. Nor are they into treating and spoiling. Most women with a lot of options don't settle for men who embarrassingly make us buy our own drinks and food when we are out with friends (where there partners ALL treat them haha).

The OPs girl has been awfully rude in her approach. Because I want the same things she wants but I found a guy who just did it without me acting rude about it.

January 7, 2016

A few things to add. She is waiting until payday to have money but going shopping - a sign she lives beyond her means. Does she have any savings? Think about her financial habits.

Go grocery shopping when she suggests next - let her fill the cart and you add things. When you get to the check out say you forgot your wallet and is it ok if she covers you? Her reaction will tell you everything.

I agree with others she is conditioning you, and looking for a meal ticket.

January 7, 2016

Generosity is a huge deal for me.

If he earns way more than you, I cannot fathom why he doesn't have an innate desire as a man, to treat you when you go for dates.

Don't you jealous knowing other women have men who make way less than your bf and yet are spoilt rotten by their boyfriends?

Nope. Because my relationship is my relationship and if I'm happy, I don't care about what goes on in other relationships.

I care more about being spoiled physically - hugs, kisses, backrubs, cuddling, etc. He fulfills my needs in these areas, so why should I care that I had to pay for my own meal?

I got 500 worth of beautiful jewelry after 4 months together for Christmas from my bf. He treats me to nice dresses or bags occasionally when we go shopping.

I feel feminine and desirable when I have a man that just loves to treat me! I am also super generous to him too as much as a student can be haha........

Btw I am in NO way advocating behavior in the OP......but I think you can do better than dating a tight ass. Yes he is a tight ass. Men who get you slippers for xmas and split the check despite their good income, aren't generous. Nor are they into treating and spoiling. Most women with a lot of options don't settle for men who embarrassingly make us buy our own drinks and food when we are out with friends (where there partners ALL treat them haha).

That's great that your man treats you in a way that you enjoy. Mine also does, it just happens to be in a different way. I've had men who spent tons of money on me, and neglected me physically. Maybe I'm a freak, but I'd much rather get the physical affection than gifts. Different priorities...

I still don't believe that he's a tight ass because he doesn't shower me with expensive gifts - he's not had as many clients as he usually does, and he's struggling financially, so he's giving me the best that he can, and the most valuable gifts that he can - his time and affection. You don't have to agree with me, but maybe you could respect that you and I are different.

January 9, 2016

I HATE the word spoiled when referring to relationships. I'm a grown, professional woman, I want to be loved, not spoiled. I like being an equal partner in a relationship. When I hear spoiled, I think of a bratty CHILD, not a mature woman.

OP, she's a user, dump her ass. I actually dated a guy who conveniently forgot his wallet, or would put beer HE wanted into my grocery cart...yeah that didn't last long.

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Is she genuine? Or a gold digger

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