Alamo657 Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Hello, I have known this woman for 10 years, we see each other once in a blue moon at social events. We get on reasonably well but don't really know much about each other on a personnal level (she has seen 2 of my girlfriends, i've never seen any of her boyfriends). I only proposed her a date once 2 years ago inbetween relationships. She politely refused, i didn't pursue. I basically want to stop beating around the bush and tell her straight that i really like her, and would like to meet her on a scheduled date. At that point i'd rather she tells me straight that there is not a chance we will ever date, rather than never ask and never be sure. What are your thoughts on this? Should i just stick to my gut feeling (she's not interested) or grab the bull by the horns like a real man ? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Go for it absolutely! You have nothing to lose. Maybe her timing wasnt right back then. Gotta be a sign she crosses your mind!! Be a gentleman but straight forward!! Let us know how it goes!! Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I only proposed her a date once 2 years ago inbetween relationships. She politely refused, i didn't pursue. Well, prepared to be let down. Its been 10 years. If it would have happned. It would have happened by now. Which side of "no" do you not understand? She`s already "refused". Your gut feeling is correct. Shes not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 She's already told you no. If she'd changed her mind because timing wasn't right then or any other reason, she knew where to find you. This is only going to be humiliating for you. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 A lot can happen in two years. Ask for she may say yes. And if says no well you still have Mary Hand and you can then move on. Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Although you could go for it, since she's said 'no' already, its highly unlikely that she'll say 'yes' this time, and you run the risk of losing a lot of respect from her asking a second time. Link to post Share on other sites
davincicode2016 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Life is tooooooooo damn short for pride and ego.. You like her, you need to tell her and ask her out. if she says no again hey thats ok. atleast you have peace of mind and can persue other woman with a clear head. If you dont it would just bother you what if, what if she said yes, what if it went well. so go and ask her. take risks man. whatever happens here happens for the best, 1 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 You didn't say the circumstances of when she first declined...did you know her well? How did you ask? Any idea her logic or reason for saying no? Like she wasn't attracted or you weren't her type or if she met TWO girlfriends you might come across as a womanizer type? Maybe give more detail. Or if you aren't really afraid of rejection, then don't worry what anyone thinks, just do it. But if you want to elaborate it might help to determine better what the outcome should be. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 You didn't say the circumstances of when she first declined...did you know her well? How did you ask? Any idea her logic or reason for saying no? Like she wasn't attracted or you weren't her type or if she met TWO girlfriends you might come across as a womanizer type? Maybe give more detail. Or if you aren't really afraid of rejection, then don't worry what anyone thinks, just do it. But if you want to elaborate it might help to determine better what the outcome should be. Circumstances smirkcumstances, he is still carrying a torch for her. Asking her out is the only way for him to find out. Asking is the only way he has a chance of getting a yes. She tells him no then he knows to dump the torch and forget about her. Either way is better than to keep hoping someday maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 By all means ask her out again, but after minimal small talk. Whatever you do, do not... ...stop beating around the bush and tell her straight that i really like her, ... How would you know, you don't even know her. The act of asking her out will show that you like her and are interested. She may say yes, but unfortunately that's not the way to bet... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Contrary to wishful-thinking, a woman does not say no who wishes to say yes. If this woman was interested in you, you'd have known it eons ago. Confess if you must, but just know it's not going anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alamo657 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 Eventually, i figured that, if she was even slightly interested, i'd have known, and it's not worth being rejected. She's a friendly person and we superficially get on well, but she always left it at that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Eventually, i figured that, if she was even slightly interested, i'd have known, and it's not worth being rejected. She's a friendly person and we superficially get on well, but she always left it at that. You when you reject yourself you have zero chance at getting a yes. Better to ask and have her reject you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alamo657 Posted January 8, 2016 Author Share Posted January 8, 2016 You when you reject yourself you have zero chance at getting a yes. Better to ask and have her reject you. If that helps i proposed a dinner date before a party tonight, after she asked me if i was going there. So i didn't disclose my attraction openly but i guess i must be transparent. And, she refused, politely, as all women do. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Well, having that clarity frees you up to shift your focus off her entirely and onto others. Link to post Share on other sites
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