Where the hell am i right now

[Scout556]

4 years of an amazing relationship. No details but it ended abruptly for reasons I still can't comprehend. The pain for the past year has been unimaginable. My career almost went down the drain because of it. The pain is still there now but I'm in this state of numbness and I have no idea if it's normal. I have almost zero emotion. I don't care about what's happening or the people around me. Its like the pain was so unbearable that the only two ways out was taking my own life or completely shutting off any feelings I had. And that's exactly what I did. Now it feels as if I will never get them back. I never want to experience that kind of heart shattering pain again and I'm worried that I'll never want to find someone. I've tried dating just to see if I can develop feelings for anyone but it hasn't worked. What the he'll is wrong with me?

[genuinelyloverly7]

You might look into a therapist for a guide through your pain, but that's the only way through it. Is to go through it. I went through this same thing and had to accept that I have to feel both the sad and the happy. You will go through the true emotional grieving for the original incident but you have to get it out to let go of it. Also somatic healing helps- movement. Yoga, dance, massage, anything to get the negative energy moving out of your physical body.

 

Peace to you.

[Limitless159]

I feel your pain. I just signed up on here and never thought I would do so but given how I'm feeling i decided too give it a try. Similar situation too what your dealing with. My ex girlfriend of 7 years broke up with me in last May. We grew up in the same smaller town and a year earlier moved somewhere we both have always wanted too live. Our families are friends and her brother and sister are like family along with some of her cousins. My best friend who is a girl is also a very close friend of hers we basically met her at the same time when we starting dating. I had been under stress with work which was why we decided too move and I would work less and travel couple hour drive back and forth too where my company is located every second week. Things were great through the summer and fall even when I was away and I was never gone for more then 2 nights at a time. She wanted too work and do her own thing after moving too keep busy. I didn't really care either way but was fine with it. She started a new job and was happy. Over the winter we weren't getting along as good and she spent a couple weeks alone when i was working. After a big fight she said she needed a break. I should have let it go but we are both stubborn so i said fine lets have a break. Big mistake. It ended our relationship. Within 24hrs of realizing what i let happen i tried too fix it but no dice. We ended up splitting up and i tried as hard as I could too get her back but couldn't. Life continued and a couple months later she started dating a new guy and I was out meeting new girls but nothing compared too her. We still got along almost at the friend level and I thought maybe in time we would make it work. Over the summer life was good hanging out with friends and spending time at the lake but after summer ended I realized how much i missed her. The dark months of november and december were bad and I felt isolated and alone living out of town by myself. I spent most of my time back near my work so I could keep busy. I almost felt near the end of december I was starting too feel better about the situation until over the christmas holidays our mutual close friend tells me my ex is pregnant with her new boyfriend. Now I'm devastated. When we split up her big fear was getting pregnant and that she wasn't ready yet. And now she's having a kid someone else. I feel the same way you do. Almost numb too the point where i don't want too see anyone or talk too anyone. Seeing her brother and sister who are very close friends and in my group of friends is almost impossible. Pretty tough too be around them now when they need too support their sister having a baby. They are in disbelief almost as much as me but its their sister and they need too support her. So on top of losing my girlfriend Im now losing people who have been like family since we were kids. I gave my ex everything I could. Far better then her boyfriend now can provide. I just don't know what to do now. I literally can't imagine ever having another relationship again or putting in that kind of effort. I wanted too have kids and a family by this point. Instead i live out of town alone with my dog. I have a hard time talking too anyone about this but on new years day when my best friend was visiting she brought it up and i just broke down. Its at the point now where its starting too effect my life and well being.

[davincicode2016]

My advice here for you and limitless as well is simple,. I know the pain of coming out a long relationship. It hurts as hell. But something you need to learn here that is very important is that you arent marty from back to the future.

 

You cannot go back and change what happen. Embrace this as it is very important. Nobody has ever went back in time and changed things. they happened and thats that. so embrace this and say look it happened, i cannot change it but it is part of my life now. what am i gonna do. run, hide, cry, take my life??? people who commit suicide over these things are truly short sighted, you have years of happiness infront of you. why take that away.

 

How i got over my break up. I stayed home and i cried, i even stayed home some days from work and cried. and i just decided this had to stop. i have a life and i will live it. you guys need to get out the house alot, trust me when i say alot i mean alot. at first this wont really help but the more you go out and lift your spirits it becomes a habit, and a healthy habit.

 

soon you will find yourselves going out with friends or just yourself. doing things thats new or old. and you will start to remember your ex, and by this i mean you have forgotten her so much that you are just reminded of her sometimes. she no longer becomes an image in your head.

 

when you date dont date for a wife, date for a good night of fun and happiness. take everyday at a time and mellow down a bit. the world goes by crazy guys. dont let bad relationships take you down. good luck.