first time flying & absolutely terrified.

[minimariah]

not sure if this is the right part of LS to post so i apologize if i got it wrong.

 

ANYWAY.

 

i'm flying to Amsterdam (business) Friday morning from my hometown and the flight is around two hours long (to Amsterdam & back).

 

this will be my first time flying (in last ten years or so) and i'm absolutely mortified. i never really had any fear of flying but as the date approaches... i'm experiencing this terrible anxiety.

 

i have a really bad feeling and i'm thinking about all the worst case scenarios and i'm wondering if it's some kind of sign that things will go wrong. is it some kind of sign that i should just quit my flight?

 

i can't sleep and i'm feeling really bad about this. any advice?

thanks.

 

[genuinelyloverly7]

I'm certainly no psychologist but I have a little spell I work on myself (yes I'm a witchy type) you can call it a mantra or a prayer or whatever works for you.

 

I say, "I am a Goddess, and nothing can harm me." You can insert your own awesome description for yourself (Wonder Woman, The Fabulous Victoria or whatever). Say it any time the anxiety wells up. Look at it- give it a face or symbol to focus on diminishing. See it getting smaller...really let the feeling of it (your fear or what your afraid of) disappearing sink into yourself. Allow yourself to imagine all the good outcomes and focus on those. Make a vision board full of positive flying images to help you get in the zone...

[StBreton]

Since you haven't flown in a long time ... or since the birth of your child...your anxiety could be related to that. I find if I fly with my kids I have very mild anxiety but if I fly without them, I go over scenarios like "what if something happened to me" etc. Maybe the same is happening to you. Your fear/anxiety is normal but you can work through its higher than normal level.

 

You'll be working presumably on Friday so don't want to take anything to calm your nerves to maybe meditate and think positive thoughts and see yourself arriving safely, taking care of business, then returning. Maybe repeat a mantra several times like "I'll be safe and return home safely"

 

I'll be thinking safe thoughts for you MM:)

[carhill]

Hey, while you're doing stuff, here's something you can put on in the background and just listen.

 

 

Here's the report:

 

Kathryn's Report: Cessna 414A Chancellor, C And S Manufacturing Corp., N53WT: Incident occurred April 02, 2012 in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin

 

Short version is the husband of an 80 yo lady lost consciousness and died while at the controls of their plane and she had to fly the plane which she had never flown and land it, and did, after running out of fuel for one of the two engines and it dying while landing. She walked away with minor injuries and her husband was pronounced dead from natural causes.

 

Just listen to her. It'll calm you. It did me and I've flown a lot. Even if you don't, still it'll all work out. Your brief flight will go as thousands do every day, safely. I've seen the gamut, including a few emergencies, and, short version, the system works. I remember my first flight, now a few decades ago. Biggest fear? Loss of control, meaning I wasn't in control of my destiny, the pilot was. All I had to do was remember that he (mostly he's back then) wanted to get there in one piece as much as any of us, and had been for years, so that was the process.

 

Good luck and safe travels!

[jen1447]

i can't sleep and i'm feeling really bad about this. any advice?

thanks.

 

 

Aw, have a cuddle baby. You'll be fine. I promise.

 

(((Jen >>> Mimi luvin)))

[whichwayisup]

Are you flying alone? if so, call the airline and let them know you're afraid of flying and if someone could look out for you (reason why? Anti anxiety medication) in case you need drugs to control how you feel on the flight. Not sure what they will give you, or if it'll knock you out or make you feel woozy.

[deckard11]

Pop a few Xanax before you board and you will be fine.

[SolG]

Are you flying alone? if so, call the airline and let them know you're afraid of flying and if someone could look out for you (reason why? Anti anxiety medication) in case you need drugs to control how you feel on the flight. Not sure what they will give you, or if it'll knock you out or make you feel woozy.

 

I second all of this. Some airlines even offer programmes for anxious flyers like you. I have a colleague who when she called to inform them of her fears was invited to go to the airport a couple of days before hand. A crew member gave her a tour of an aircraft, answered all her questions and explained the main safety systems and mechanisms. It didn't alleviate all of her anxiety, but it did lessen it considerably. When you call, ask the airline if they have anything like this available.

 

I love airports and flying; gateways to adventure for me. I generally travel at least once a fortnight and never cease to enjoy it.

 

I hope it turns out well for you Mini! :-)

[Imported]

I wouldn't worry about it. You're far more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the airport than to die on the airplane.

[minimariah]

thank you for your kind words, everyone.

 

i'm not traveling alone, four other colleagues are going with me.

 

i'm mostly afraid & keep thinking about one thing - what if my bad feeling is a premonition of sorts? i'm anxious, irritable & angry -- i tend to think of all those feelings as some kind of pre death sign, XD.

 

i know how silly i sound, i just can't help myself.

 

first time experiencing all of this.

[losangelena]

thank you for your kind words, everyone.

 

i'm not traveling alone, four other colleagues are going with me.

 

i'm mostly afraid & keep thinking about one thing - what if my bad feeling is a premonition of sorts? i'm anxious, irritable & angry -- i tend to think of all those feelings as some kind of pre death sign, XD.

 

i know how silly i sound, i just can't help myself.

 

first time experiencing all of this.

 

Well, that's the very nature of anxiety, it causes a distortion in thinking. I mean, if my anxiety about something was a sign that I was going to die, I would have been dead a long time ago, lol.

 

The thing for me about flying is that it's a control thing. Yes, flying is presumably safe, but it's unnerving to know that I'm sitting in a metal tube in the sky and have absolutely zero recourse should anything go wrong.

 

It's funny, my "fear" of flying has fluctuated over the years, but about a decade ago, my dad had terminal cancer and just about every other thing in my life was falling down around my ears. I logged about 72 hours of flight time that year, and I was so calm about it! Almost as if giving up control in all the sh***y parts of my life made it easier to give it up in the air.

 

Now, it's not so bad, though I DO NOT like turbulence. But, before any flights, I will literally look up stats about turbulence and plane safety. I had no idea, but only like three people have ever died from the effects of turbulence, and that a plane can withstand many times more than what even feels like "bad" turbulence.

 

Anyway, so facts and data actually really help. So does the occasional in-flight scotch, if I'm honest. And having someone to talk to and distract me is huge.

 

You'll be great, it's not a sign of anything.

[xxoo]

I have flight anxiety. I've been anxious before every flight I've ever taken (I get anxious just buying the ticket), and I haven't died yet.

 

Think about it. Every day, thousands of flights take off and land safely. Every day, people with your level of anxiety and worse are on those flights, sure they will die. Every day, they fail to die.

 

Your anxiety has ZERO impact on the flight, thank goodness. It's not a premonition. It's just nerves.

 

When my daughter had surgery, I was soooo nervous. I had those premonition thoughts. Of course, everything turned out fine. When I spoke to her surgeon in the morning, she asked if we'd slept well. I replied, "no." She said, "that's ok, because I did :)".

 

Your pilot slept well and has full confidence. That's really all that matters.

[losangelena]

Also, I forgot to say this before, but another way that I alleviate in-flight anxiety is to watch the flight attendants. They fly every day, and seeing them stay calm helps me stay calm.

 

On a flight back from Miami last year, it was pretty bumpy over the Gulf Coast, to the point where I had my head in my ex's lap and I was sweating. A flight attendant was sitting in a jump seat a few rows ahead of us, and throughout it all, she just merrily chatted away with the passengers in front of her. Yes, I was still nervous, but knowing that she didn't think the turbulence was any big deal helped keep me from a full-blown panic attack.

[minimariah]

hey, guys.

 

couple of more hours until my 1st flight... then i'm flying back in 5 days.

 

i'm super anxious... my anxiety level is through the roof. i'm trying to calm myself but this is so new to me (i was literally never anxious before) - so i'm really struggling. you know that feeling when you're going to a super important exam? yeah, i feel just like that.

 

writing here really helps me and reading your replies helps me even more - so once again... THANK YOU... i appreciate every letter on this thread.

 

keep writing!

 

 

PS: i came accross this article & it made me laugh, so i'm sharing it with you --

How To Not Die In a Plane Crash.

[rester]

Have you mentioned your anxiety to your colleagues? That could possibly greatly reduce it, as long as you feel close enough or comfortable enough mentioning it to one or all of them.

 

I've generally found people to be quite understanding of things like this, especially if you don't typically show much vulnerability around people, it may bring you a bit closer to them. They may also be able to help you relax during the flight.

 

Oh, and bring some headphones and music, if possible.

Edited January 8, 2016 by rester
added sentence about music

[xxoo]

That flight landed safely yesterday, and will today and tomorrow and for years to come. Enjoy your trip! (After landing, of course )

[minimariah]

Have you mentioned your anxiety to your colleagues? That could possibly greatly reduce it, as long as you feel close enough or comfortable enough mentioning it to one or all of them.

 

i did & they were understanding but i found that distracting myself -- reading & music, TV shows... help the most.

 

so right now, that's what i'm trying to help myself with.

 

but yeah... it's so hard when your mind is your worst enemy. i think i figured out what may triggered my anxiety -- a month or two ago i read a lot about Germanwings flight that crashed a couple of months ago... the flight was also supposed to last just 2 hours & it was from Barcelona to Düsseldorf... suicidal pilot crashed the plane on purpose into the Alps.

 

i think that event triggered my anxiety badly.

Edited January 8, 2016 by minimariah

[minimariah]

just checking in - 1st flight went well.

 

i was nervous and anxious but relaxed as the flight came to an end.

and now... ANOTHER ANXIETY - over a flight back.

 

it's super scary to fly though - not going to lie. i was shaking like a leaf during the entire flight. it helped seeing other folks relaxed and i tried to watch the flight attendants and it helped!

 

anyway, i will be posting more as my 2nd flight home approaches.

i must say one thing - as my flight approached... i felt relaxed about it but it seems like my focus only shifted on the flight home.

 

so my "something bad will happen" feeling kind of moved to my last flight. soooo i'll be writing about that! LOL.

 

p.s. Amsterdam is gorgeous.

[xxoo]

You survived!

 

I'm always more worried on the first leg of travel, thinking how tragic it would be to die before I go on my trip. As if it would be less tragic on the way home

 

Sorry for joining you in your morbid anxiety for a moment. Once again, it'll be fine. Happens every day.

[minimariah]

Sorry for joining you in your morbid anxiety for a moment.

 

it's so hard to fight it, right?! LOL.

 

i'm having dark thoughts about my flight home now.

 

IN FACT - i think my anxiety is ten times worse now. i thought it would be better but...

 

[OldRover]

You can get some anxiety meds that will help a lot, and a good option.

 

And, if you fly much take a course for fearless flyers... google it, there's lots of good advise and courses out there.

 

And, as mentioned before, stats are that you're MUCH safer in the air than other forms of transportation.

[minimariah]

so my flight home goes Tuesday morning.

so that's... in a little more than a day.

 

my anxiety is killing me. today i watched TV three times and every single time i turned it on - airplane was on; something with airplanes & the third time... th crash on Huston river when the airplane was floating and people were saved.

 

so i'm back to fully thinking about it because my mind saw these as signs. i'm anxious because it seems like something i could avoid and i'm like... damn. what if something happens and i'd be baffled because i could have avoided it?i just chose wrongly.

 

so yeah.

 

my anxiety is always worse during the night - in the mornings i forget all about it.

 

 

can i have some comforting words? did anyone experience something similar?

[losangelena]

so my flight home goes Tuesday morning.

so that's... in a little more than a day.

 

my anxiety is killing me. today i watched TV three times and every single time i turned it on - airplane was on; something with airplanes & the third time... th crash on Huston river when the airplane was floating and people were saved.

 

so i'm back to fully thinking about it because my mind saw these as signs. i'm anxious because it seems like something i could avoid and i'm like... damn. what if something happens and i'd be baffled because i could have avoided it?i just chose wrongly.

 

so yeah.

 

my anxiety is always worse during the night - in the mornings i forget all about it.

 

 

can i have some comforting words? did anyone experience something similar?

 

OP, has something happened recently to make you more afraid to fly? You said before that you didn't necessarily used to feel this way, so I'm curious if there's a bit of transference going on—as if your anxiety about something else is manifesting in a fear of flying. I think it's especially noteworthy that you see all these things as "signs," when in reality, you probably just notice them more because your fear is forefront in your mind. But still, it's one thing to be naturally anxious about something that feels so unnatural (flying, turbulence) and to liken images or thoughts of planes with some kind of imminent demise.

 

I totally get it, by the way, I used to (and sometimes still do) see any kind of flight delay as "a bad sign."

 

Not trying to play armchair Freud or anything, it's just that the way you're describing things doesn't sound just like a fear of flying.

[xxoo]

Anxiety sucks. When in the grips, I find little helps. Prevention works better.

 

Work out if you can. Exhaust your body and mind.

 

Of course, anxiety meds are supposed to work really well. I've never used them. Too stubborn. But in the future, and esp if you're flying alone (I have kids to be responsible for), consider asking your dr for some better living through modern chemistry.

[minimariah]

OP, has something happened recently to make you more afraid to fly?

 

last time i flew was YEARS ago & i was a teen -- i didn't think about black scenarios at all. this time around... i think about EVERY single thing that can go wrong. it doesn't help that i recently read a lot about Germanwings plane crash (their route was SUPER similar to mine) & it freaked me out.

 

today -- i keep running into airplaine crashes TV shows and check this out... i open my hometown news site & the first freaking news i see is that my airplane company's plane had to force land because of some kind of technical mistake (everyone is fine).

 

i'm about to pop a Xanax for real, LOL.

 

I think it's especially noteworthy that you see all these things as "signs," when in reality, you probably just notice them more because your fear is forefront in your mind.

 

could be my fear of dying in general?

and please -- i welcome every analysis and opinion. i have no idea where is this coming from! for one - i pride myself in a "good" intuition that is never wrong. so i think my fear is my intuition and THAT scares me... hence seeing the signs and everything. during my 1st flight, when i sat down in the plane and waited for us to take off -- i had this "relief" feeling and i immediately had a "new feeling" about this bad flight being on my way HOME. it's like my anxiety just moved to another target.

 

Anxiety sucks. When in the grips, I find little helps. Prevention works better.

 

i agree - this anxiety came at me out of nowhere. i was fine around two weeks before the actual flight... didn't even think about it. it's why i'm even more anxious - i have no idea how to deal with it and i'm currently not in the position to see a doctor (still in Netherlands).

 

and no one really takes me seriously anyway - folks mostly weave their hand and say it'll be okay.

 

*sigh*

 

this is SUPER exhausting.