oldshirt Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 It's settling. It's settling for much less than instead of striving for a real relationship. Time spent on a gadget looking at a glowing rectangle is time taken away from being with a real person in the real world. Link to post Share on other sites
amayana Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 In my adult life I have worked all over the world and know a great many people in far flung places. I'm not dating at the moment, but the thought came to me that if I ever did, the people I already know are scattered about and it might be an LDR. I've always been vehemently anti-LDR so I decided to give this forum a read for more info. is anyone happy in one of these? do they ever work? This forum isn't giving much hope. Thanks. NL Well, this forum usually attracts people that need encouragement/advice... I used to come here for exactly that. I haven't posted since 2014 because I moved in with my LD partner in the summer of 2014 In March I will have been with my fiancé for 4 years. We started a long-distance relationship (UK-US) when we had only been together for 3 months. We didn't know what to expect but we wanted to give it a try. We did that for 2 1/2 years and then we both lived together for 1 1/2. We got engaged last October and he left 3 weeks ago to file a petition for a fiancé visa for me. We're getting married this summer and I'm moving to the US. We probably won't see each other until July and that's frustrating but we've done it before. It's never easy but I know we'll be OK. I was never happy about the distance, of course. But I was happy in the relationship, if that makes any sense. After all these years, I still think he was and is totally worth it. Therefore... Yes, they can work if you're committed and insane enough 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Well you just made a teenager-in-love mistake there.. crushing hard and crashing hard.. I'm sorry but you can't speak for LDR's. Who would even want to move for some guy they had only met online . I'm sorry but that is insane. Of course. It would be crazy to fall for someone you had never met in person. We were falling though because it does happen and not everything fits into tiny neat boxes in life, and shortly after meeting online and skyping several times, we met in person. He flew 7000km to meet me so if that doesn't say anything about human connection I don't know what does. Thanks for the undo judgement though. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 It's settling. It's settling for much less than instead of striving for a real relationship. I must disagree. Your statement might work for some people out there, but honestly, you need to go out of your way too much in a LDR, that obviously a local partner is so much easier to manage. I live in a very populated area, with over 3 million people. It's not the laziness of finding someone here. It's not the lack of options. We fell in love. The distance presents a problem, just as much as other factors can be a problem in a couple. For some it'll be crappy parents/unbearable inlaws, for others it'll be a seriously ill family member to take care of, or any other kind of situation. Time spent on a gadget looking at a glowing rectangle is time taken away from being with a real person in the real world. I don't judge couples living 10 miles from one another and meeting up once a week (yes, I've known several), so I find it silly if anyone judged a LDR meeting less frequently, or even every other weekend. I guess there's a lot more effort in that than in the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Selvestor Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Yes, It works, on my own experience, but you should do all your best to remove distance as soon as possible. Of course if you are sure about her! And about yourself! And if you need this person for serious! Be optimistic, bro! I met wonderful lady on zefirdate website she moves to me this summer and we will have happy family soon! This summer we go to Jamaica for vocation! If you are sure about her-go and take her and never let her go! Wemen like when we make decidions! Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
lifeisbeautiful Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 30 days was hell enough for me away from my now husband. I left my job and moved to where he lived. He had the better job and I hate my hometown, so it worked out in the end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DistanceGirl95 Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) Me and my boyfriend. I live in South Africa, he's all the way in Germany. We physically dated for 4months before starting the distance. Today is roughly a year since. We havn't physically seen each other for 6 months. I see him next week for a month. And again in May. We don't need ample time for each other. A few messages a day through whatsapp, then Skype once or twice a week. I am happy. I don't mind the distance because I know there's an end goal and we are perfect for each other. For LDRs to work, it needs certain type of people: People who are mature People who are willing to commit People who can trust each other. People who have **** to do in their respective lives. People who like independency. People who are able to generate some money because travelling expensive and so is internet for those occasional Skype sessions and gift sending and so on. Edited February 25, 2016 by DistanceGirl95 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 I'm sorry but if you think this, you are just wrong or have clearly not had a healthy relationship. If you saw your boyfriend three times a week, would you stay locked in your room until you see him? A person in an LDR lives their life outside of the relationship, like in any other healthy relationship. Plus you can go out with your friends on a weekend, and set your Skype date on another day. There is simply so much to do, when you are willing to do it. I'm not wishing my life away waiting, and neither is my partner. And the same goes for many other posters on here, I'd bet. I'm sorry you have such a skewed point of view. Oh stop with your nonsense about me never having had a 'healthy relationship" and all that. What a ridiculous assumption. I'm married, but would have never considered wasting my time like this when I was single. It sounds like you're trying very hard to convince yourself how wonderful it is to have a Skype relationship because you can "see your friends on the weekend." LOL. Well, eventually your friends will have real relationships and won't be available every weekend to help you fill all that spare time you've got between Skype sessions. The OP asked for opinions, I gave mine. And your silly rebuttal to my post - with it's silly assumptions - didn't change it a bit. But thanks for playing. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 So currently, mine might be the longest one? I'm just curious. I'm not on here much these days and I haven't posted for a long time but Kiwi man and I have been together/apart for six and a half years now and still going strong. Happy with our separate lives and happy when we're together. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NYGiantsgal Posted February 27, 2016 Share Posted February 27, 2016 I am in one. We are currently engaged and married march 9th and i am moving from nj to az Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 I'm not on here much these days and I haven't posted for a long time but Kiwi man and I have been together/apart for six and a half years now and still going strong. Happy with our separate lives and happy when we're together. Happy to hear that! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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