In again...

[Tiffanylost]

Hi everyone!

 

I am actually new in this site so I am hoping to learn and receive more supports from you guys

 

I named this thread as In again since this is not my first time to be in this kind of relationship. The first time I got involved to a MM was last year but it was accidental, yes.. because the MM didn't tell me at first that he was actually married. It was after few months of meet ups that he finally admitted that he was married and the rest was history. Our relationship only lasted for half a year because he was too manipulative until everything got complicated. To gather myself again and move on, I decided to move to migrate to other country. Now I have been living and working in this foreign country for almost a year. I swear that i wont get myself involve again in such kind of relationship since I am still young, single and has a stable job. But fate has a really good play on me.

 

3 months ago I moved in a house nearby my work place. This house has 3 bedrooms and I have 6 housemates. I am sharing a room with my sister and cousin (who are also living in this foreign country) and in 1 room is being occupied by married couple and another room by 2 guys; 1 single guy and 1 married guy whose family are living overseas, I will name him Tom.

 

During the first few weeks staying in this house, my cousins and some friends talked to me regarding Tom, they warned me not to get close to him since they could notice and feel that he is giving me extra attention. At first I just ignored because I didn't think he has interest on me but as time pass I could finally see how he treat me differently. Everyday during lunch time when I am at work he usually calls to check on me, when I arrive home from work he cooks for me dinner, in the evening he would usually play movie in the living room to keep me up and have little conversation.

 

I tried my best, really tried my best to avoid him. There were times I wouldn't pick up his call, or won't go out of my room just to avoid him but he kept going. Until 1 day I decided to talk to him, I told him regarding the relationship I had with a MM a year ago. There was only 1 person I mentioned about that before, only to my very best friend and now I decided to tell him because I wanted him to understand where I've been and that I don't wanna be in that shoe again.

 

I thought it could help, I thought he would understand. I asked him to please help me avoid this situation because I really do regret what happened. But I was wrong. After that day, the more he became eager, he even told me that he will do anything he could to convince me and that he really likes me. I guess I am really weak, maybe my faith is weak as well because in the end I still fell.

 

Every time we get a chance to sneak from our housemates, we grabbed it. Some day our housemates work graveyard shift so we had all the time to be together, it was fun and I completely forgot what I was holding to. Christmas time came and he had to go home to his family, he will be spending 2 weeks away and with family. From then I never heard from him, which I totally understand because I know that is how it always is when the MM is with the W. 1 week later he sent me a message he said he missed me so much and can't wait to see me again but with a really surprising news, he is coming back with his W and a 1 year old son. Yes, his W is coming for a vacation in our house, and yes she will be staying for a month.

 

I couldn't explain what I felt, it was dark, sad, fearful, confused....

He said we can act normal and pretend normal and he will find ways so we can still do what we want, could be somewhere outside the house. My goodness he was really crazy with that idea.

 

now I feel so confuse, tomorrow they will be arriving, I will be living with my MM and his W and son in 1 house for a month! I don't know how to face them, how to live each day. I don't know if I still want this. I am so confuse... help me..

[TaraMaiden2]

I'm sorry, you make me so angry.

 

How could you let yourself be ensnared by this kind of situation all over again??

 

THis is on you.

You should have shut him down, right from the very beginning.

Right here.

 

my cousins and some friends talked to me regarding Tom, they warned me not to get close to him since they could notice and feel that he is giving me extra attention. At first I just ignored because I didn't think he has interest on me but as time pass I could finally see how he treat me differently.

 

What the hell were you thinking - ?!

Why the heck, given your track record, you didn't pay attention is beyond me.

You should have refused every call, every meal, every move, every comment.

 

"Oooh, I couldn't do that, he was a room-mate!"

 

Yeah. and look where that got you.

 

You're now a bit of fluff he feels he can pick at whenever and however he wants.

 

Please, disappoint him.

Tell his wife how lousy he is in bed, and ask her to take him with her when she leaves. The sooner the better. .

[Ms. Faust]

She said it was fate, Tara

 

I hope you leave this guy alone when his family is there. If not the wife, think of the kid.

Edited January 6, 2016 by Ms. Faust

[TaraMaiden2]

She said it was fate, Tara

Oh gosh, yes of course, I missed that. Well then, of course, she had no say in the matter. I mean, you can't fight fate, can you....?

 

I hope you leave this guy alone when his family is there. If not the wife, think of the kid.

By 'alone', I would say 'find somewhere else to stay' alone.

[anika99]

So you told him all about your last MM and how awful it was and how you don't want that to happen again and guess what he heard? All he learned from your sad story is that you were a woman who had fooled around with a married man and he figured that if you could mess around with one married man then you could mess with another one. Telling him about the last MM actually encouraged him to try harder. You had choices the whole time and you chose this. Fate has nothing to do with it.

 

Now he's bringing his wife and child home and he wants to fool around with you while they are there? Possibly outside? Barf! That shows how little he thinks of both you and his wife. He's one of those guys who think women exist just to please him. Are you seriously going to keep this affair going with this little weasel?

[sandylee1]

Knowing you didn't want to be an OW again.. he stepped up his game.... very manipulative of him .... but he knew it wasn't totally against your principles.

 

If I were you.. I'd change my number and move out of the house and never go back there. Block him every which way. He's got a year old child and he's cheating.... I'm sure you've got what it takes to tell him to leave you alone.

[Tiffanylost]

I know I sound so annoying, I understand all of you cuz it is exactly what I feel towards myself. Hate, anger, everything. To tell you honestly, I have already decided to stop the affair. I really do.. I'm just so clueless what I'm gonna do when they arrive.. How things will go... About moving house yes Ive thought about it it's just so hard to move right away immediately because I need to consider my sister, my housemates who will be shouldering the expenses, and the place I will be moving to... I'm scared about how it will be when they arrive and stay here...

[TaraMaiden2]

OK, this is what you do, and you do it - NOW.

 

You take your sister aside and tell her what happened. Everything.

You move out, immediately, maybe go back to Mom and dad's.... anything - anywhere but where you are right now.

 

At some point, ask your sister to tell Mr Charming, in private and away from his family, that "oh, BtW, *Tiffanylost* moved out. She just wanted you to know that hell would have to freeze over before she ever sees you again, let alone has sex with you. And we all know about it. Oh, you can deny it until you're blue in the face, but we all know who WE believe....I advise you to make plans to move out, yourself."

 

Once he's gone, go back. But sadly, you have to keep paying the rent, and help your sister find a new tenant - preferably a woman - to replace him.

Edited January 6, 2016 by TaraMaiden2

[whichwayisup]

I know I sound so annoying, I understand all of you cuz it is exactly what I feel towards myself. Hate, anger, everything. To tell you honestly, I have already decided to stop the affair. I really do.. I'm just so clueless what I'm gonna do when they arrive.. How things will go... About moving house yes Ive thought about it it's just so hard to move right away immediately because I need to consider my sister, my housemates who will be shouldering the expenses, and the place I will be moving to... I'm scared about how it will be when they arrive and stay here...

 

You stay away from him, DO NOT hang out with him one on one. Treat him like any other room mate and keep your distance. He's NOT stupid, he'll know why you're not hanging out with him. This guy is a complete idiot and has made a fool of his wife and child by allowing something to happen between you two.

 

Your man picker is off, to choose the affair path once again, what are you trying to do to yourself? Where's the love and respect for yourself? DO you feel like you don't deserve a great (single!!) guy who will love ONLY you? Why go for taken men who can only offer you themselves on their time frame? Get MAD and do all you can to stay away from him!

 

Think about going to counseling to fix what's broken inside of you. I say that kindly - You deserve more than what you're getting.

[BuddyX]

You say Fate, I say Choice.

[S2B]

Hi everyone!

 

I am actually new in this site so I am hoping to learn and receive more supports from you guys

 

I named this thread as In again since this is not my first time to be in this kind of relationship. The first time I got involved to a MM was last year but it was accidental, yes.. because the MM didn't tell me at first that he was actually married. It was after few months of meet ups that he finally admitted that he was married and the rest was history. Our relationship only lasted for half a year because he was too manipulative until everything got complicated. To gather myself again and move on, I decided to move to migrate to other country. Now I have been living and working in this foreign country for almost a year. I swear that i wont get myself involve again in such kind of relationship since I am still young, single and has a stable job. But fate has a really good play on me.

 

3 months ago I moved in a house nearby my work place. This house has 3 bedrooms and I have 6 housemates. I am sharing a room with my sister and cousin (who are also living in this foreign country) and in 1 room is being occupied by married couple and another room by 2 guys; 1 single guy and 1 married guy whose family are living overseas, I will name him Tom.

 

During the first few weeks staying in this house, my cousins and some friends talked to me regarding Tom, they warned me not to get close to him since they could notice and feel that he is giving me extra attention. At first I just ignored because I didn't think he has interest on me but as time pass I could finally see how he treat me differently. Everyday during lunch time when I am at work he usually calls to check on me, when I arrive home from work he cooks for me dinner, in the evening he would usually play movie in the living room to keep me up and have little conversation.

 

I tried my best, really tried my best to avoid him. There were times I wouldn't pick up his call, or won't go out of my room just to avoid him but he kept going. Until 1 day I decided to talk to him, I told him regarding the relationship I had with a MM a year ago. There was only 1 person I mentioned about that before, only to my very best friend and now I decided to tell him because I wanted him to understand where I've been and that I don't wanna be in that shoe again.

 

I thought it could help, I thought he would understand. I asked him to please help me avoid this situation because I really do regret what happened. But I was wrong. After that day, the more he became eager, he even told me that he will do anything he could to convince me and that he really likes me. I guess I am really weak, maybe my faith is weak as well because in the end I still fell.

 

Every time we get a chance to sneak from our housemates, we grabbed it. Some day our housemates work graveyard shift so we had all the time to be together, it was fun and I completely forgot what I was holding to. Christmas time came and he had to go home to his family, he will be spending 2 weeks away and with family. From then I never heard from him, which I totally understand because I know that is how it always is when the MM is with the W. 1 week later he sent me a message he said he missed me so much and can't wait to see me again but with a really surprising news, he is coming back with his W and a 1 year old son. Yes, his W is coming for a vacation in our house, and yes she will be staying for a month.

 

I couldn't explain what I felt, it was dark, sad, fearful, confused....

He said we can act normal and pretend normal and he will find ways so we can still do what we want, could be somewhere outside the house. My goodness he was really crazy with that idea.

 

now I feel so confuse, tomorrow they will be arriving, I will be living with my MM and his W and son in 1 house for a month! I don't know how to face them, how to live each day. I don't know if I still want this. I am so confuse... help me..

 

 

Good God he is a slime ball.

 

Get out and get out now. Move out today. Be sure he doesn't have any way of contacting you.

 

Participating in the way he's offering is just dispicable. Don't do it - it will rip your soul apart!

 

Just move now and don't even tell him!

[lemondrop21]

I am going to try and be a bit more sympathetic because I don't think you posted on here in order to get flamed. Yes, you knew were making a huge mistake getting into this again, but the question really is what will you do from here.

 

Your heart is tied up with this man, I get it. But what you are about to go through, with his wife and kid in the same house, will amount to psychological trauma if you let it happen (for you, and also for his wife and kid if you are found out). It is incredibly wrong of him to even think of bringing his wife and kid under the same roof as you... But you now have a choice to make.

 

If you cannot bring yourself to tell yourself/him that it is over for good, tell yourself that you are taking a break from him for this one month, and then LEAVE if there is ANY way possible for you to do this. Tell your house mates that you've been getting uncomfortable sharing with so many people and that you want to try out an alternate living situation... Or whatever... And then find some girl who needs a temporary roommate. Or live in a cheap bed and breakfast. Or whatever. I don't care if you have to pay double rent for a month, just get out while the wife is there, please!!! For everyone's sake. And then during that month take some time to really reflect hard on your situation. I'm hoping you will then choose to stay away for good.

 

Let us all know if it's at all possible for you to physically leave the house, we are all really hoping you do! Best of luck.

[Popsicle]

He found out you've done it before and now he thinks he has a chance.

 

Just say NO and don't even talk to him.

[ladydesigner]

now I feel so confuse, tomorrow they will be arriving, I will be living with my MM and his W and son in 1 house for a month! I don't know how to face them, how to live each day. I don't know if I still want this. I am so confuse... help me..

 

I agree with the others that you chose to be in this situation again, but I won't harp on it because you are probably already tired of thinking it yourself.

 

But the bolded above ^ what the holy f**K? Are you serious?