Having no feelings, Gets things Done

[davema]

In Life, I notice that the guys or gals in business who get things done, get what they want, get ahead in business and life, Generally don't care or pay any attention to other's feelings nor do they worry about inconveniencing others to get what they want.

 

 

I'm learning more and more that you have to Work Hard for what you want but being a "nice guy" doesn't work. I generally never inconvenience anyone too much or ask for help from others (I try and get things done myself) but I'll see other guys I know getting what they want because they cut the BS and don't worry about other's feelings too much - they don't mind lightly stepping over someone if they aren't getting what they need.

 

 

Interesting

[TaraMaiden2]

And incorrect.

 

Having worked in business at many different levels throughout my life, the bosses, superiors and managers I have worked with - who have proven successful and enterprising - have not, in any way shape or form been the type of person you describe.

 

The kind of guy you describe sounds like a narcissist, and is apt to make as many enemies, commensurate to the success he enjoys.

 

I really don't know why men consider being a nice guy to be a failure.

 

Is this some kind of 'lad culture' rubbish?

[truthtripper]

If what you're perceiving is actually true, don't be influenced by your narcissistic friends/colleagues. You do realise it is pathological, antisocial, unprofessional behaviour?

[Grewd]

No, just no. There's several massive flaws with this, I'll list some of them.

 

- You won't get anywhere once other people start working against you for being selfish.

- Some things you can't do alone.

- It's pointless to achieve anything if you're without emotion.

- What you observe may not be the way you think it is, I'll explain later.

- You won't get people to follow your lead if you're cynical, they'll know and leave you to yourself.

- Successful people learn to progress themselves in cooperation with others, they give something of value back.

 

What you observe about others slightly stepping over someone else may not at all what it seems. How are they doing it? I know of a way that may seem like it to people with your perspective, but between me and the other person it's different. I ask others for help, I'll always put it as a question leaving room for their freedom of choice. They have every opportunity to say no and I will fully respect that, but mostly people are nice and agree. Does that mean I stepped over them because they were nice to me? No!! It's actually the opposite, I put myself in debt to them. What you may not clearly see or understand is the return of favors, because it doesn't happen as a straight exchange, it's returned at a later time which you don't witness.

 

If I bump into people thinking like you do I'll spot it really quick and I will ignore at all cost knowing I won't have my kindness returned. If you go about doing it like you suggest in the business world or really any human interaction you'll lose a lot and that fast.

 

Then there's also the other worrying thing about feelings you say. What's even the point of winning ahead if you have to sacrifice your very nature? Will all the so called hard work, immoral behavior and loss of good people be worth whatever material possession you desire?

 

The only thing you got right is that those who get ahead is the one's who get things done. You'll eventually come to learn that the most effective way of getting things done is to cooperate instead of wasting time going against or around others. They do often get things done by themselves as well, but not at the expense of someone else as they are usually getting it done FOR someone else. So how do you get ahead by getting things done for others? Remember the return of favors I mentioned? Yeah they work for people who show appreciation and stay clear of people who has the mindset you're describing. The successful one's remembers to return favors and appreciate the ones working for them just as the person they're working for is doing to them.

 

The point of working at all is to benefit both oneself AND others, by providing and requiring goods and services from each other that can't be obtained alone. If you try to benefit only yourself at the expense of others you won't get much, it's a bad deal and while some will be naive enough to take it, most of us won't be so dumb as to fall for it.

[dichotomy]

Short answer

 

Work smart (not hard), develop yourself outside the company, and be as nice (as you can) with a select group of key folks at your company. Think long term - i.e. how will my resume and references and skills look to ANOTHER employer in a few years.

[Emilia]

Correct

 

Your CEO Is Probably a Psychopath

 

In the previous company I worked for exec management were psychos and henchmen. Very successful financially (sales background). I think a lot of successful salesmen are narcissists. They don't care whom they screw over and screw over they do.

[newmoon]

everyone has feelings, so even someone you perceive as being 'unfeeling' isn't capable of being devoid of feeling (sociopaths and other extreme cases excepting). the men and women who are capable of getting ahead by seemingly stepping on others just have the ability to be steered by logic versus emotion. you still feel emotion and hurt and pain for someone when you're a logical thinker, but you are easily able to put facts, a job, a career, money, or other inanimate objects ahead of people. we're not all built the same

[davema]

I'm smart enough to understand that in the 'grand scheme of things', these type of people are unhappy in the end and probably end up lonely if they aren't already - with lots of regrets.

[Alamo657]

In Life, I notice that the guys or gals in business who get things done, get what they want, get ahead in business and life, Generally don't care or pay any attention to other's feelings nor do they worry about inconveniencing others to get what they want.

 

 

I'm learning more and more that you have to Work Hard for what you want but being a "nice guy" doesn't work. I generally never inconvenience anyone too much or ask for help from others (I try and get things done myself) but I'll see other guys I know getting what they want because they cut the BS and don't worry about other's feelings too much - they don't mind lightly stepping over someone if they aren't getting what they need.

 

 

Interesting

 

Some people can be ruthless in the work environment because they want things done and be successful.

 

It doesn't mean they cannot have a fulfilling private life outside of work, but it means when they go back home, they need to bring back something to show to their private social circle : sucess, money, movement. In the higher stratas of society, it's mandatory to always be winning in your professional work , or you might fall behind your peers and look "bad" (even if you're still well above 95% of the population).