accepting it but not letting go or forgetting.

[Dholding]

Hey everyone. I decided to make this post maybe to get some advice or to find out how common/uncommon this feeling is. And to just over all put it in a public forum instead of wrestling my own head, ear beating my friends and rambling to an uninterested cat.

 

I'm a lonely guy in a sense of being "unlucky in love". I do have a great friend group and supporting family. But want and ready for the real deal. I've been out of a relationship for 4 years now. ( after 5 year pretty ugly break up. Grew apart. Despite being ugly it's a good thing).

 

Anyway I was set up by a friend with a gorgeous, sweet, fun, sexy lil younger woman. I was prewarned of this girl's commitment issues or restraints. She hadn't gone over a month with some one in years. I didn't care she was gorgeous and young and fun and hey it had been awhile. Well, we clicked. We went about 6 months mostly light and sex based. But slowly growing closer with time. Long story short. I feel hard too hard. My world was on fire while hers was quite frankly unchanged. So I did the worst thing. Gave the ultimatum. Right? I know. More or I'm out. I was assured she liked me and into it but was told she just couldn't give more I believed her and felt like the ultimatum giving jerk I was.

 

 

Fast forward to a few weeks later where a frustrated wanting to progress it and standing still me just had to end it. I was falling hard while she was snapchatting frat parties and liking every shirtless bro on her instagram. She was bummed and wanted to stay friends. I said that's prob. not the best idea. This seemed to hurt her and turn me into a jerk. I was touched by that and decided if I put my head together I could try the friendship. Which we did for about two months. Awkwardly and weirdly obviously.

 

Then BOOM out of nowhere I'm public enemy number one and it's too hard to be friends with me after being so intimate which I get. Then almost instantly she has a boyfriend and in a relationship status with the snapchat bro party friend group guy. Who lives an hour and a half away .Was something always going on with them. Yea most likely but who really knows can't think that way. I was bummed .

Now I've been thru rough break ups and was dumped out of much more meaningful and longer relationships than this. Ultimately what I'm getting at is. This one won't leave my mind. I'm still hanging on to a girl that isn't right for me and from two different worlds. The frat bro party guy was always her type. I was the little older settled down artist. I'm just worried I'm hung up on the age the fact that ..tbh she was out of my league gorgeous. I'm also worried that I only fell so hard because it was the closest I got in awhile. Any thoughts would be great. I just don't want to still hang on to someone who never was truly in or even right for me. Even though I did and do see a ton of potential.

[Letmeknow]

This girl doesn't seem right for you at all.

 

She is confused and doesn't know what she wants, hence the snapchatting frat bros all the time.

 

You knew going into it her reputation and I highly doubt she is gonna change her character in such a short time span.

 

This --> " I'm also worried that I only fell so hard because it was the closest I got in awhile" is very true.

 

By continuing to talk to this girl, I believe you are only hurting yourself. She made it clear she doesn't want the same intense relationship you do.