Sunny85 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 (edited) Hi everyone, I will try to make this short. Since 2 months my partner gets sometimes phone calls/ text messages from another woman. He says its a female stalker who doesent leave him alone. Now recently she contacted me and she wanted to know if my partner and I are in a relationship cause she says that he keeps telling her that he wants a relationship with her and that my partner is telling a lot of lies... I confronted my partner with all of this but he became angry at me that I didn't trust him. He even called her phone in front of me and telling her she has to leave us alone and that she is crazy. He was very upset and keeps saying that this woman is really a crazy woman. I asked him why she had his phonenumber, and he said that she once met him due to mutual friends. I told him i want to trust him and I believe him but in fact i don't know what to think of this. Is she really a stalker like he says? How can I find out? Edited January 6, 2016 by Sunny85 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 He is lying to your face. It's easy to get rid of people we don't want hear from. You block them. Your boyfriend has not even tried to block that person. Also getting mad at you when you want to have a conversation about it is typical of someone hiding something. Dump dump dump 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Redfisher Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 He's nailing her..for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunny85 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 maybe indeed.... but why did he call her i front of me yelling in the phone that she had to leave us alone? And a stalker, weither its a female or male can be really annoying and crazy. I have read stories about men who lost their job and relationship because of a female stalker. So they do excist and can have a serious inpact on someones life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunny85 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 Also, when I confronted him I didnt want to go to his family that following day. ( it was a family dinner with a lot of his family who wanted to meet me) I told him to go with his other 'girlfriend'. He said that this stalker woman has achieved what she wants, cause fights/ confusion/ separation between me and my boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 ...but why did he call her i front of me yelling in the phone that she had to leave us alone? Probably for your benefit... to convince you. Now, are you sure that he didn't just pretend to call her, or called but then hung up before he started yelling? If she didn't sound like a crazy person when she contacted you, there's a possibility that she is just trying to find out the facts herself. Since she obviously knows your number and who you are, etc., I don't see any downside to having a rational conversation with her to get her side of the story and further assess whether she's stalking or he's pursuing and feeding her a big lie. You can block numbers easily enough, so if he allows her calls and texts to come through... not a good sign. Also, mutual friends doesn't adequately explain her having his number. People don't typically give out their friend's phone numbers without being asked and given a legitimate reason. Check the call records for the number, duration and which party initiated calls. That will tell you a lot. If he has you locked out of the account and won't give you access... that's your answer. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 but why did he call her i front of me yelling in the phone that she had to leave us alone? So that you'll believe him. He probably hung up before she answered, or sent her a text message 2 minutes earlier saying "I'm going to call you in 2 minutes to keep XXX off my trail, I will be very angry, ignore it lol" Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Also, when I confronted him I didnt want to go to his family that following day. ( it was a family dinner with a lot of his family who wanted to meet me) I told him to go with his other 'girlfriend'. He said that this stalker woman has achieved what she wants, cause fights/ confusion/ separation between me and my boyfriend. LOL. He's an amateur. You're getting all the over-used cliché lies a cheater uses when trying to deflect from the truth. This nonsense of him claiming, "she's trying to break us up and cause trouble!'" sounds like immature high school childish drama - and what teenagers do. Unless you two are 17 years old, this is utter nonsense. So big deal, he called her in front of you and put on a dog and pony show for your benefit, telling her to quit stalking him. You think he hasn't already told her that you're suspicious and if he ever calls and puts on a show of telling her to get lost that it will be only for YOUR benefit and for her to play along? That's classic cheater operating procedure. Nothing new to see here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I told him to go with his other 'girlfriend'. He said that this stalker woman has achieved what she wants, cause fights/ confusion/ separation between me and my boyfriend. That's what my cheating ex used to tell me. He would tell me those are women jealous of us, trying to break us up, etc. How ridiculous. Don't be that naive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunny85 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 Thank you all for your answers, I think I am to naive for this type of behaviour.... I already sended him a message that I am sorry for him he is being stalked. How stupid is that.... I guess he's worst then I thought, he also told me I could go to her house to talk to her. I asked him how he knows where she lives and he told me that its because his friends know. And i checked his phone, there was another outgoing call to her... now why would you call a stalker yourself thats ridiculous.... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 How you can find out is ask him to change his phone number. The change may not solve the problem because determined stalkers are, well, determined, but it will gauge his interest in resolving this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunny85 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) yes maybe I can ask him to change his phone number, but why didnt he come up with it himself and why does he even answer her calls? Thinking back, when I got a message on my phone or calling someone he didnt know, he frequently asked me: Is it another men? Because he can't be trusted, he doesent trust me neither. I dont know were this comes from, maybe someone cheated on him in the past or he himself is always cheating in relationships. Edited January 7, 2016 by Sunny85 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 HELP! Someone call the fire dept! His pants are a blaze!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Because he can't be trusted, he doesent trust me neither. I dont know were this comes from, maybe someone cheated on him in the past or he himself is always cheating in relationships. It's not important where he gets this. You don't belong in this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Please don't waste your time analyzing someone who is lying and cheating on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 I'm actually inclined to believe tour BF on this particular situation. Only a crazy girl would call up someone she's been talking to's girlfriend and ask if you're still together. That is clearly going to make you and him get into an argument and hopefully break you up which is what she wants. It still is a bit fishy from you BF but the fact she called you is absurd. If you really want to know the truth... Then send her a text while your BF is at your place or when you are together. Say to her "if you can screen shot the convos you and ____ have had and send them to me tn then you can have him tomorrow". If she can't text you anything, or doesn't reply... Then you can safely say she's just a trouble maker trying to start **** and your BF is telling the truth. If she does, then you have all you need to confront him with evidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 The only fact he has not attempted to block her is enough for me to conclude he's getting something out of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Leucine Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 I'm actually inclined to believe tour BF on this particular situation. Only a crazy girl would call up someone she's been talking to's girlfriend and ask if you're still together. That is clearly going to make you and him get into an argument and hopefully break you up which is what she wants. Or a girl who suspects that a guy is lying about being single before getting involved with him? Of course there is no definitive proof but it's WAY too obvious, he's an amateur. If he hasn't cheated yet, he's certainly planning to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunny85 Posted January 9, 2016 Author Share Posted January 9, 2016 (edited) She contacted me with this sentence' I wanted to know If you are a couple with him cause he is not been clear to me, so I prefer to ask you directly' I told her that I am indeed a couple with him. She told me that my bf told her to wait for her, that he coulden´t be in any relationship now cause he was depressed but that she had to wait for him. I responded to her that he is lying to her, cause he is together with me. Then she told me that he is lying a lot to me and her and that she paid some things for him in the past and that she had a relationship with him before he met me.. and that she wished me good look. A couple of months before my bf was looking at his phone and without me asking anything he by himself began talking about this woman, that she was crazy and wants to have a relationship with him. I didn´t even bring this subject up, he told me that he was getting her phone calls/ messages. He even gave me her adress so I could talk with her if I want to. I asked him why he knows were she lives. He told me one of his friends knows because at first she tried to be friends with all of them and she made her move to my boyfriend trying to get a relationship. Edited January 9, 2016 by Sunny85 Link to post Share on other sites
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