My brother committed suicide.

[EgoJoe]

His Widow fits the bill for several Cluster B Disorders. She made a rape claim that was unsubstantiated, divisive and completely disproven.

 

I have good days and bad days. I've been sick too. I continue to have wild dreams.

 

Tomorrow I'll follow up on grief counselling.

[truthtripper]

His Widow fits the bill for several Cluster B Disorders. She made a rape claim that was unsubstantiated, divisive and completely disproven.

 

I have good days and bad days. I've been sick too. I continue to have wild dreams.

 

Tomorrow I'll follow up on grief counselling.

It's telling that your brother was attracted to her and even married her. Psychologists say that we are subconsciously attracted to people who exhibit traits which are familiar to us(regardless of whether they are healthy or not, although this is dependant on the level of a person's self-insight/self-awareness), ie-we are not attracted to the unfamiliar.

 

I hope your counselling goes well.

[EgoJoe]

My Brother had codependency issues and was ultimately coming down off of something when he took his life.

 

This Woman was a nightmare and he stuck by her and the kids. She never worked a day in her life, or did a damn thing for her family. He used to work 12 hours a day, seven days a week and still came hone and clean because she could barely bring herself to feed the kids.

 

They got together young and he had foolish notions of chivalry. She is still using. I have to play nice to see his children and make sure they're ok for now.

 

This Woman threw him out the night he did it while he was legally required to stay there and when he threatened self harm she didn't even check on him for 16 hours.

 

 

I'm mad at Him, Her and so many other god damn people.

Edited January 27, 2016 by EgoJoe

[truthtripper]

My Brother had codependency issues and was ultimately coming down off of something when he took his life.

 

This Woman was a nightmare and he stuck by her and the kids. She never worked a day in her life, or did a damn thing for her family. He used to work 12 hours a day, seven days a week and still came hone and clean because she could barely bring herself to feed the kids.

 

They got together young and he had foolish notions of chivalry. She is still using. I have to play nice to see his children and make sure they're ok for now.

 

This Woman threw him out the night he did it while he was legally required to stay there and when he threatened self harm she didn't even check on him for 16 hours.

 

I'm mad at Him, Her and so many other god damn people.

Age makes no difference, whether people are younger or older, anyone can make foolish decisions in relationships, depending on their level of self-insight.

 

It's terribly unfortunate that she was still using, she was in no state to check up on him.

 

It's good that you feel, Joe. Always let the anger out rather than harbouring it. Your counsellor can help you express it productively and explore where it's coming from.

[Countryredneckbae]

Im so sorry to hear joe. My prayers are with you and your family.

[Noproblem]

I am so sorry for your loss

This is so sad

Stay strong

[EgoJoe]

I'm taking his children for the weekend. I meant to do it sooner but work gets in the way.

 

I've taken them out to dinner since.

 

I've never felt less expressive and I miss him every day.

[EgoJoe]

Today is his birthday.

[CarrieT]

I've been thinking about you, Joe, and wondering how you have been holding up - and how the children are doing...

 

<<< hugs >>>

[EgoJoe]

I'm alive. Career is great, Relationship is great and many other things are great.

 

I'm a black hole of emotions though. I mean that in terms of their density. It's all bound so tight. No time for therapy. My family needs me. My Mother is recovering from surgery. My brother's widow can't afford anything. My other Brothers are lost and need guidance or financial support. My Sister needs an empathetic ear etc.

 

I work myself up into a manic frenzy every day just to get through. I'm closing major deals and building long lasting relationships with great clients. But, I'm putting on a front. Not just any front but I'm pretending to be me Pre-January.

 

I truly don't talk to anybody about "it" or my feelings anymore. My girlfriend is sweet when she sees me sad but I can't bring her down. She has a tough career and isn't as sturdy as I am.

 

I'm not just the De Facto Patriach anymore. I'm the Man in status and position.

 

I'm really worried about everyone else now. I'll always be fine. I can soldier on with nothing; I've done it before.

Edited March 22, 2016 by EgoJoe

[Phoenician]

I am sorry for your loss ...

you are a man of honor , don't let anything divert you from your new mission ...

taking care of your bro kids .

 

the mission is a mission to heaven in all religions ;no matter if you are religious or not , it is a road to your own heaven : self satisfaction .

 

tc

[CarrieT]

No time for therapy.

MAKE TIME!

 

Your health - mental and otherwise - is critical. Before it comes crashing down on YOU.

 

You can't be the strong one for your entire family without someone support for yourself.

[lilacwine]

Today is his birthday.

 

I'm sorry for your loss. Time will help you heal. Slowly I know. But you will.

Edited March 23, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[whichwayisup]

Today is his birthday.

 

1sts are always so hard. I'm sorry you're hurting. Sending you and your family my good thoughts.

[EgoJoe]

Life goes on. I'm trying to be there every week for my Nephews even if it means just stopping by and taking them to get ice cream or a snack from the store.

 

My business is exploding and I'm swamped. I've reinvigorated some previous ties and I'm expanding into other areas.

 

I still imagine my feelings as a densely packed ball of nuance and relative thoughts that are hard to pin down and sort through. I'm trying to get my business on cruise control and then I think I'll seek help.

[hotpotato]

My deepest condolences

[Eighty_nine]

Life goes on. I'm trying to be there every week for my Nephews even if it means just stopping by and taking them to get ice cream or a snack from the store.

 

My business is exploding and I'm swamped. I've reinvigorated some previous ties and I'm expanding into other areas.

 

I still imagine my feelings as a densely packed ball of nuance and relative thoughts that are hard to pin down and sort through. I'm trying to get my business on cruise control and then I think I'll seek help.

 

You don't know how much it'll mean to these kids that you were there for them. Someday they'll thank you.

[ZHguy]

You damn well have every right to hate that woman.

 

I admire your strength on managing to live up to pre-January you, and also on facing your sister-in-law. In the past four months, I think you have become an even greater patriarch. Don't ever think you aren't

 

The important thing is, do you have a place to find comfort and solace?

[summerdowling87]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. You and your family will be in my prayers.

[summerdowling87]

Joe.

 

Remember that you're human and you can't do it all. Their's no shame in that.

Remember that you're human and you're allowed to your own Grieving.

If you need therapy their's no shame it in.

[EgoJoe]

It was six months a few days ago and I have been meaning to come here and post.

 

I'm checking in on his Widow and children as often as possible. I buy toys that he would have gotten them.

 

Everything is going great for me but sometimes I'm empty inside. It's hard to love my girlfriend with full force. I still try as hard as I can and the level of emotion I have for her has nothing to do with her or her behavior; she's great. We have standard spats but get over it in a healthy fashion.

 

Sometimes I just expend all of my "persuasive energy" that I have for a deal (I am a Real Estate Broker & Classic Car Dealer) and then I need some serious cave time to recover.

 

My Sister will be taking the boys for a full week at the end of this month. His Widow is receiving a sizable benefit and likely to receive more when we get the pension fully sorted.

 

I miss my Brother.

[MJJean]

Today is the 20th anniversary of my mothers unexpected death at 44 years old. I still feel empty inside sometimes and I still miss her terribly when I'm very happy and would have loved to be able to share it with her, when I am sad and want her advice and comfort, and when I see my children being awesome and just wish she had a chance to meet them.

 

I adore my husband. I couldn't imagine a better match for me and the love I have for him is passionate and deep. That said, there is a certain innocence lost when you lose someone close to you. You forever love differently because now you intimately know what it feels like to love and to have that love (sibling, parent, spouse, child, closest friend) ripped away from you. Your world view changes and your heart grows scars. It sucks, but it's something we all go through eventually.

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and the pain your entire family has suffered. It does get better with time and more time, but it never goes away. We just learn to live with it.

 

Keep being supportive of the widow and your nieces/nephews. I'm sure your care and efforts are very much appreciated by them and they will treasure their relationship with you for the rest of their lives.

[EgoJoe]

I eloped with my girlfriend of a year and eight months back in October. I had a banner year financially. I started and stopped smoking pot. I'm active in my late Brother's Children's lives. My Uncle that I was close to took his life the same way a few days before Christmas... I didn't feel anything.

 

I'm posting today because the youngest called me Dad in a bit of a Freudian slip. I've been trying to teach them manners and life skills in addition to buying them gifts. I got his oldest an electric guitar, amp, case etc. I spent a lot of money to try and get him to have an outlet. He likes it. It's been over a year now.

[whichwayisup]

I eloped with my girlfriend of a year and eight months back in October. I had a banner year financially. I started and stopped smoking pot. I'm active in my late Brother's Children's lives. My Uncle that I was close to took his life the same way a few days before Christmas... I didn't feel anything.

 

I'm posting today because the youngest called me Dad in a bit of a Freudian slip. I've been trying to teach them manners and life skills in addition to buying them gifts. I got his oldest an electric guitar, amp, case etc. I spent a lot of money to try and get him to have an outlet. He likes it. It's been over a year now.

 

Congrats on the elopetion! (Just made up a word for you!) And yay to quitting to pot! Stay healthy. I love that your nephew called you dad. It's good he sees you in that light and loves you.

 

Sorry for the loss of your uncle. Numb and not feeling anything? That scares me that the pain is there but not being felt nor allowed to be let out by grieving the loss.

[FastHands]

I think you need to be very connected to feel the horrible pain of the loss. You can see it in the news that people pass on daily, but do you feel for them? Probably not. But behind the news, you can be sure there are family members going through the losses very dearly.