Simon Phoenix Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 yeah I definitely learned my lesson about getting all worked up right off the bat like I did this past time, and have been doing. No more of that. I do wonder in general though, what's the deal with the breadcrumbs from ex's? In my particular case, knowing her, it's probably not to be purposely malicious as it might be for some other people. She probably did feel bad\guilty at the time she sent the message and wanted to get the apology out there. She did own up to everything for the first time. Though if that was the case why even bring up the friends thing at all if it didn't seem to matter to her? Just apologize to get rid of the guilt and be done with it. Don't tell me you hope for friendship. Its an odd thing. As Simon Phoenix said too, there probably will be another breadcrumb in the future. I'm curious as to why, and there might not be a definitive answer. Who knows though, maybe there wont be another breadcrumb unless its a happy birthday to me in July, in which case big deal... that's an easy one Why does it matter? I would ask yourself why you are so concerned about trying to psychoanalyze and read a person who cheated on you. But breadcrumbs in general are self-serving. They have nothing to do with you (be it good or bad) and they are to make the person throwing them feel better. So stop gobbling them up like a starving man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pharoh Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Yeah I get that, and I'm working on it. I was just curious about breadcrumbs in general, because you see them being referenced all over the place and they come after most breakups. It was more to keep a related conversation going than me being all distraught about this last incident. Link to post Share on other sites
NVO Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Great progress Pharoh, it took me a while to finally stop over analyzing everything my ex did or texted. I was driving myself crazy for a couple of months. I'm a thinker, which is great in general because it let's me analyze things perfectly. But in situations like these, my mind is my biggest enemy. I see the breadcrumbs getting mentioned often too, but mostly it's just curiosity that makes the dumper reach out. In my opinion, breadcrumbs have a more 'manipulative' character than just checking how somebody's doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Great progress Pharoh, it took me a while to finally stop over analyzing everything my ex did or texted. I was driving myself crazy for a couple of months. I'm a thinker, which is great in general because it let's me analyze things perfectly. But in situations like these, my mind is my biggest enemy. I see the breadcrumbs getting mentioned often too, but mostly it's just curiosity that makes the dumper reach out. In my opinion, breadcrumbs have a more 'manipulative' character than just checking how somebody's doing. Breadcrumbs are simply the dumper fulfilling selfish desires. They aren't meant to be malicious necessarily, but they can have that effect because the dumper doesn't think about what they mean to the dumpee. A dumper's mindset is completely different, so they aren't thinking about the dumpee's perception of what they are doing, just like the dumpee has a hard time putting themselves in the dumper's shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
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