freaking out Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 Please Help! I’ve been friends with this guy for 8 years. The last 2 years we got very close and are best friends. I always teased him about being afraid of commitment because he didn’t want to get into a serious relationship. Well 3 weeks ago he finally asked me out, But now im freaking out. We share the theory that: when you date, there are only 2 outcomes, you breakup or you get married. Im only 19 and have my whole life ahead of me, while hes 21 and has his life set. After im settled I can see myself with him. But I know that im not ready to settle down until im done with college, but in the meantime I don’t want to put our relationship at risk through these rough years. I know we are right for each other, im just not sure if the timing is right. Im scared right now of what our future might bring and have been distancing myself from him while i try to figure out my commitment problem. Can you please help me before my mixed feelings ruin what we have together. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 Here's an option: why not just have the relationship and enjoy it rather than kill it with unnecessary anxiety of a future that is completely unpredictable? It may well turn out that this guy you think is 'marriage material' may over time turn out not to be. You won't know this about the guy until you actually have the relationship with him. If you were to put him on a back burner or in cold storage, and go through college and have your college experiences - you may find to your dismay that when its time to thaw him out and settle down, you don't want to anymore. Strike while the iron is hot - the time is now to enjoy this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 If he is only 21, trust me, he does not have his life "set". He has alot of living to do before he will be ready to settle down. You both do. So why not do some of it together? It will be an experience you never forget and will never regret, even if it doesn't last. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 Just wait 10 years... you'll see how young 19 and 21 really are. Link to post Share on other sites
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